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by Carley Cooper
There’s a song by country music singer, Joe Nichols, called The Impossible. It’s been going through my mind today. The lyrics remind me of how I’m feeling about some circumstances in my life right now.
My dad chased monsters from the dark,
He checked underneath my bed.
An' he could lift me with one arm,
Way up over top his head.
He could loosen rusty bolts
With a quick turn of his wrench.
He pulled splinters from his hand,
And never even flinched.
In thirteen years I'd never seen him cry,
But the day that grandpa died, I realized:
Unsinkable ships sink.
Unbreakable walls break.
Sometimes the things you think would never happen,
Happen just like that.
Unbendable steel bends.
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable,
I've learned to never underestimate,
The impossible
An' then there was my junior year,
Billy had a brand new car.
It was late, the road was wet,
I guess the curve was just too sharp.
I walked away without a scratch.
They brought the helicopter in.
Billy couldn't feel his legs.
They said he'd never walk again.
But Billy said he would an' his mom and daddy prayed,
An' the day we graduated, he stood up to say:
Unsinkable ships sink.
Unbreakable walls break.
Sometimes the things you think would never happen,
Happen just like that.
Unbendable steel bends.
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable,
I've learned to never underestimate,
The impossible
So don't tell me that it's over.
Don't give up on you and me.
'Cause there's no such thing as hopeless,
If you believe:
Unsinkable ships sink.
Unbreakable walls break.
Sometimes the things you think would never happen,
Happen just like that.
Unbendable steel bends.
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable,
I've learned to never underestimate,
The impossible
I’m tempted to ask you if you have ever felt like you’ve been in an impossible situation. However, I know I don’t have to ask you that. I know you have; because we all have at some point in our lives. Life seems to have a way of backing us into a corner leaving us to feel like there is no way out. There’s no solution possible to the problem.
Right now I’m feeling very hurt, angry and even betrayed by someone I love dearly. I don’t claim to be innocent in the situation. Just the opposite; I blame myself for everything. It’s left me completely disoriented, confused and grieving in the worst way. I see that a friendship that I knew for sure was completely solid and immovable, no longer is. It’s left me wondering if it ever was solid; was it ever real in the first place? Was I misleading myself this whole time? What else or who else in my life am I deceiving myself about? I opened myself up to this person and left myself in a completely vulnerable state trusting this person totally, and it backfired on me. I was rejected because of my brokenness. Then, to cloud the issue even more for me I found out that confidences were broken; and my most broken parts have been shared with someone who was not invited into the situation. Nothing looks clear to me anymore. I am not sure who or what I can trust. I knew with absolute certainty that this friendship was real and solid. I counted and depended on it. I was wrong. At the moment, I no longer trust my own judgment on anything. It’s left me feeling like I can’t trust that the sky is indeed blue or that the grass is in fact green; let alone who is telling me the truth. Of course all this, in itself, causes even more emotional turmoil through a truck load of guilt, because I keep thinking that others have problems so much worse than mine. I should just let it go and forget my feelings.
There was another situation once where I knew something was impossible. I knew with absolute certainty that God would never keep me separated from my dog, Casey. I knew that I would be able to bring Casey home to live with me where he belongs once my living situation was settled. I made very important life decisions based on the fact that Casey is definitely coming home. If I thought for one instant that he wasn’t I certainly would not have chosen the options I did. I was trusting God; keeping my faith in Him without any weakness in it. I wasn’t budging an inch in my faith! Except it didn’t happen. Even though I had medical support that I need him and my lawyer said that the law is on my side, Casey can’t come home now even if the circumstances changed; because it’s in his best interest to stay where he is. He’s blind now and his last sighted place is at my friends house; which was meant to be a temporary solution until I could put myself in a position to bring him home. Not only that but her dog, Snowy, has succumbed to her instincts to become Casey’s new eyes. Little Snowy guides Casey around the back yard, the house, and keeps him from wandering onto the road. Whether I like it or not now, Casey needs them more than me. Casey’s needs have to come before mine. He is staying where he is. I love him enough for that.
Another time when I underestimated the impossible was many years ago when I dated a guy, that I’ll call, Brian (not his real name). We dated for about six months. I was so head-over-heels in love with this guy. He felt the same about me. He treated me like a queen. One day we were downtown and stopped at a hotdog vendor where he bought a jumbo hotdog for us to share together. I mean, literally, together. He was eating from one end while I was eating from the other end. We giggled our way through it the way we giggled our way through everything we did together. When we got to the center we ended with a kiss.
A couple of girls walked by as we were eating and saw us. One said to the other “See, that’s what being in love is all about. That’s what I want.”
It made me feel good. Brian and I looked at each other smiling, but didn’t say anything. We didn’t have to. We knew what she meant, because we felt it. It wasn’t long after, that he ended the relationship. I was so in love with this man. It was so real to me; more than anyone else that I had been with. This was the same guy that took me on a grocery shopping date. Yes, you read that correctly. Grocery shopping date, and I could not have had more fun at anything if I tried. I had a blast! How could something that real, be fake? Yet it ended, so therefore I know it wasn’t real and never was.
Thinking about the impossible being possible; at this time in the year, I can’t help but think about the impossible feat that Jesus accomplished for us at Easter. He willingly put Himself through punishment, humiliation, suffering, sacrifice, betrayal, and much more that we are not even capable of imagining. He died, fought death and came back to life again after three days. He went through all this because He loves each one of us that much. If I could go back in time, knowing what I know now I would not make the same decisions that I have made so far. I would choose very differently. I would not open up so much to someone that I thought was a friend. I would not let my living situation be such that Casey couldn’t come home; even if I knew about his future blindness. I would alter my course to avoid going through these pains. But Jesus is eternal. He’s outside of time. He knew what was going to happen. He already knew that we would sin against Him and we would need to be saved; yet He did went through all that pain and suffering for us anyway. He loves us that much.
All these events in my life leave me with the same questions; How could my judgement have been so off? If my judgment is that off on something that important, then how can I know that anything around me or anyone I interact with is real or trustworthy? Where does it end? Where do the boundaries start and stop with trust? I honestly don’t know. My vision has been clouded with much pain; and is made even more so through the filter of Bipolar Disorder and the medication cocktail that goes along with that. The only thing I know for sure that I can trust is Jesus. I will sit and wait for His direction; even then, I may have to ask Him to confirm and reconfirm His instructions to me. I will have to pay extra close attention to every detail for a while to make sure I know when He’s directing me; to make sure that it’s not the enemy taking advantage of my vulnerability to lead me astray. It is overwhelmingly difficult to concentrate and focus, but when nothing else looks clear; when I don’t know what is real and what isn’t around me, I know that I have to focus on Jesus. I know that He is real and as long as I focus on Him nothing is impossible.
Joe Nichols – The Impossible
~~ Dear God ~~ Thank You for the impossible feat that You accomplished through the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus on the cross for us. Thank You for never giving up on me, even in spite of my brokenness. Please help me to clearly see Your direction in my life; to clearly see the enemies attempts at misdirection, and open my heart to true forgiveness of those who have hurt me. Especially, help me to forgive myself as well, Lord, so that my heart is completely free to focus on You. ~In Jesus name, AMEN.
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