Showing posts with label Positive Thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Positive Thinking. Show all posts

ANNOUNCEMENT: Carley Cooper, Author!

This is a very exciting announcement or me!  I am now a published author.  My first book was released last month.  It is a work that I co-wrote with author, Daphne Tarango, and 8 other inspirational writers.  I am very excited about this project because it will help inspire so many who are suffering with mental illnesses. 

Let me tell you all about it:  

Title: Groove: Stories to Refresh How We Think and Feel About Our Mental Illnesses

Groove Book CoverAuthors:

Designer: Suzanne D Williams

Published:  December 1, 2014 in Paperback 

UPDATES:

  • January 12, 2015 - Groove is in the top 100 in two Amazon categories (Mood Disorders and Depression), and is on the "Hot New Releases" list
  • December 18, 2014 - Groove is now available in Kindle on Amazon
  • December 14, 2014 - Groove is now available in Kindle, and other formats (Nook, Kobo, Sony Reader, Older Sony Readers, Tablets, Kindle, PDF, BeBook, Older Palm Devices, TXT, HTML) on Smashwords

Buy Groove at these fine online retailers:

 About Groove: 

You're one of the millions of people who struggle with mental illness. You struggle in silence, hoping to avoid stares, whispers, and prejudice. But society’s judgment has also become your inner voice. Guilt, shame, and low self-worth have entrenched themselves in your mind and heart like old grooves of sun-hardened soil. These false beliefs need loosening, turning, tilling, and ploughing until the old grooves give way to new grooves of God’s Truth.

In Groove: Stories to Refresh the Way We Think and Feel about Our Mental Illnesses, mental health advocate Daphne Tarango and nine inspirational writers tell how they've overturned the old grooves and false beliefs about their own mental illnesses. Groove offers encouragement and firsthand experiences from men and women who know what it’s like to have mental illness. You'll relate to their inspirational stories about relationships, coping skills, managing symptoms, career and home, life stages and milestones, even stories about their pets, the holidays, and much more.

Groove includes 52 thought-provoking stories, one for each week of the year. Each entry ends with a series of questions so you can reflect and dig deeper grooves on the topic for that week. As you read Groove, you'll learn how to build new grooves using God’s word and how those new grooves can change your life, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you carry yourself. You can even read and work through the questions with a small group.

Whether you're recently diagnosed with a mental illness or have struggled with mental illness for years, Groove can help you refresh the way you think and feel about your mental illness, all by believing and applying the Truth in God's word.




Did You Hear the Latest News?!

~~ Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) ~~  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.



Photo Credit: MS Office Copyright Free Images
by Carley Cooper 

Gossip!  It’s wrong.  It hurts people.  God said not to do it.  But, it’s so much fun to do!  Resisting it, for a lot of people, means a big spiritual struggle inside.  Some justify it by saying things such as:
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m networking
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m just telling my friend about this guy I know that...
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m just asking my friend to pray for my family member who...
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m just making an observation about a co-worker.
“How Could You Say Such a Thing?”
A friend, who runs his own business, wrote a status message online saying “When you make collections calls its uncanny how often people were just talking about their bill and realized it was overdue.”  It’s a simple observation about humanity in the circumstances of owing money.  No names were mentioned.  No financial situations were described.  No private or personal information about the company or the customers was brought up.  

The response that was given in the following comments was very negative, saying that the message was inappropriate for a public forum because it’s a private matter.  My heart went out to all of them.  I felt bad for the person who wrote the status, because he had to endure the feedback.  I felt even worse for the person who left negative comments because I realized that after a lifetime of knowing this person she hasn’t changed or grown in Christ in the least.  She has a long history of being very negative toward other people all the time. 

God Loves Positive Thinkers
To be honest my first thought was “Would it really kill her to say something nice for once?”  Then, my next instinct was to run and tell a mutual friend about it.  But, I resisted.  It was a very difficult 20 minutes, as I visited with my friend.  It took everything I had to ‘bite my tongue’.  But, I did resist because it’s not right to gossip, and because I didn’t want to stoop to the levels of the negative response.  Maybe I noticed this and my feelings were so deep because of how hard I worked myself for several years to change my own thinking patterns from negative to positive.  I tend to notice negativity more now. 

God Loves Those Who Help Others
There are many bible verses that tell us about gossip and slander, and how we should conduct ourselves.   Neither the gossip nor the negative talk is right with God.   He told us in Ephesians 4:29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Jesus is our example of how we should respond and interact with other people.  He never talked about others behind their backs. He certainly didn’t put anyone down.  He only built others up by teaching them.

I didn’t gossip about these people, when I certainly could have, and even wanted to.  I could have even injected myself into their conversation and told them exactly how I felt; but I didn’t.  I thought about God, and how He would want me to react.  The proper comeback to the status message, if the responding person felt so strongly about it would have been to send a private message; and even then she should have said things to help and build up, not tear down.  Her response to the message was more inappropriate than the status she was commenting on as being unsuitable. 

The next time you’re standing around the water cooler at work, and someone says “Did you hear the latest news?!”, how are you going to respond?  I think Thumper in the 1942 Walt Disney movie Bambi said it best “"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."

Let’s Pray
 ~~ Dear God ~~ Graceful, merciful, and loving Father; sometimes our mouths work faster than our brains can keep up.  We speak and act before we think.  We talk about others, without giving a second thought to how You would have us deal with a situation.  Thank You for being patient with me as I try to become more like Jesus.  Thank You for molding me to be like Him.  Please help me to always help others in how I act, think, and speak.  Help me, also, to keep my thinking positive so that I can reflect Jesus to those who need to see it the most.  In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

Now It’s Your Turn
Thoughts?  Questions?  Want to share your story?  Ask for prayer?  Please consider sharing in the comments section; even if the link you clicked to get here was on another site(If you’re on the homepage, click on the post headline, and scroll down to find the comments section.)

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Planning Your Dreams

~~ Jeremiah29:11 (NIV) ~~  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.




(Originally posted February 15, 2009 on SparkPeople.com.  Reposted as a guest post on "My Country Manse', May 15, 2013) 

Photo by Carley Cooper.  All rights reserved.
I was watching Oprah one day, (not a regular thing for me) and she had guests who were talking about a number of things that all had to do with improving yourself. One lady talked about a project that helped her put her dreams into reality, helped her with her self-esteem, and all around good improvement of her life.  This project was called a Vision Board.
 

I Want My Dreams to Become Reality!
A number of people talked about such things.  It's like putting the whole idea of affirmative thinking (which I heard about for the first time that day) into a physical project that you can see.  The idea behind the affirmative thinking is that you can 'make' good things happen just by picturing them in your mind as actually happening.  I had never heard of such things before, but it really intrigued me.  There's so much to learn and grasp when it comes to learning those things.  It's definitely not a natural instinct or 'common sense' as I've so often been told by others.  It's like everything else in life... it has to be leaned!

Anyway, this Vision Board, the lady had contained lots of pictures that she had cut from magazines.  Each little item or picture represented something in her life that was a dream, a wish, a goal of some sort.  She had pinned them all to a large poster board.  As her goals & dreams happened or changed she could change the pictures thereby always keeping it up to date. 


God Will Help You Make it Happen
I felt I just had to do this".  I got out a bunch of old magazines, and went through and cut out a lot of photos.  I also found some online and printed out.  Though, the problem is that I didn't have an extra cork-board like the lady on the show recommended.  I found a very nice cork-board at Winners with a beautiful frame around it.  The cost... $30.00.  Well... that doesn't sound like much to most people, but for me, trying to break my bad spending habits, this is a lot of money.  I figured I'd wait until "I could afford it".  So I placed my photos into a folder and set them aside.

One morning, I felt God talking to me so strongly about this Vision Board and the cork board.  I thought... "well, this is an investment in my health because it's something that is meant to help me improve myself".  When I saw the cork board at Winners last year they had only one on the shelf.  This morning when I felt God talking to me saying that I should finish this Vision Board I figured "the chances of them having another cork board like that one available is slim", but I'll go next door to the mall and if there's one there than I'll know for sure that it's God's way of saying "finish your Vision Board in the vision you see it as being completed".  Well... I went there and they had lots of cork boards... and it 2 different styles this time!

I got the board... I spent the afternoon completing the project and placed my photos of my dreams & goals all around it.  I pinned them on with some fancy thumb tacks and pins that came with the board.  I placed the word "God" at the center to represent God being the center of my life and the point at which everything comes from.  Closest to that I placed pictures and words that represent the most special and most important of my dreams.  Around that close to the frame I placed other pictures.  Each one having some special meaning and representation to me.  All of them being tied together in some way... everything from meeting Mr. Right, to traveling, to the type of relationship I need with Mr. Right when he comes along, to relationships & friendships that I'd like to fix, to dreams I've had, and SO much more.

God is in Charge
This project was another small step in so many I've taken that's all about trying to change my way of thinking, trying to change my bad habits, trying to change my life for the better by learning so many new things.  Eating well & losing weight is just one of those steps and goals to getting to a good life for me.  I've been reading so much about anything that involves improving myself whether it be about my weight, my health issues, my spirituality, my faith, everything!  With these tools I can change my life and get my life back on a good track finally… which I am doing. Every little good thing… is a big good thing… like the Vision Board.  Now I can look at it every day above my desk as I sit and I’ll never forget my visions, my dreams, and I’ll never forget that God is in charge and that I can’t give up faith.

Let’s Pray
 ~~ Dear God ~~  Wonderful, loving Father; so often I want to run with my own dreams and forget to include You.  Thank You for steering me back on track.  Please help Your dreams for my life become my dreams for my life.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

Now It’s Your Turn
Thoughts?  Questions?  Want to share your story?  Ask for prayer?  Please consider sharing in the comments section; even if the link you clicked to get here was on another site(If you’re on the homepage, click on the post headline, and scroll down to find the comments section.)

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What Weapons are More Dangerous?

~~ Ephesians 4:29 ~~  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.



by Carley Cooper

Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images
Trying to get this post published in the last few days has been as varied and uncertain as my moods and my psyche.  I've had several attempts, that have all been derailed for various reasons.  I’ve had another week of battles much like last week.  I am exhausted; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  As I write re-write this (again) I'm still uncertain about so many important things.  I have no idea who or what is real.  If I listen to the signals my brain is receiving, it seems I am leaving a path of destruction behind me hurting everyone I know.  However, it honestly amazes me that God never misses a beat.  Not one.  Despite my confusion, He did let me see a few things differently.

I have a couple of close friends, and my family that I know for certain love me.  When I know nothing else for certain, I know that.  I also know despite what I keep 'hearing', it is OK to need people in my life, and that being single is hard for me.  One of my best buds, Spicy, took me last week to someone who will help me.  I didn’t have the strength to do it for myself.  I didn’t sleep the night before.  My racing thoughts were over the speed limit.  Was this a good idea?  My gut instinct said ‘NO’ (with extra emphasis in a glowing, red, flashing, neon).  However, God knew my biggest fear and put a solution in place before I even got there.  I got to tell my story, and Spicy said I did the right thing and very well.  The results: I felt like me again for a while so I’m a little stronger, I know there are others that care, I will have regular therapy in the future, and I learned a couple interesting things I didn’t know before.  Plus, I was reminded, again, God has everything under control.  He won’t forget me or leave me.  The memory gaps are still there, but truthfully, sometimes I’d rather not remember some of the details.  Maybe that’s why I don’t. 

There were a few other helpful points as well.  One; someone important to me who was in a bad accident a few weeks ago is getting better.  Yay!  A huge weight is gone.  Then, some wonderful Sparklers glittered, reflecting the glory of Jesus when I needed it most; when I can’t see Him myself.  Finally, I got to spend some quality Skype time with a very important friend that I don’t get to talk to often.  He said if I didn’t start realizing how much God loves me, he would be right over and kick my butt.  I was left with the age-old question: Why do quick and witty come-back's never happen fast for funny until much later? 

Those are Fightin’ Words!
Whether an experience is good or bad, a Bipolar (BPD) patient lives it BIG.  There’s a long-winded biological explanation which I won’t go into, but negative views are part of the result if the episode is depression and not mania.  I have studied and worked hard in the past 6 or 7 years, to progress a lot toward being positive; but it’s an ongoing war and education.  Maybe it will always take extra effort, though I hope not.  I don’t want positive thinking to be something I do, but who I am.  My brain’s natural programming was installed with negative information.  Good or bad, this is the fact of the matter.  Reprogramming makes everything else look easy.  Social Anxiety (SAD) adds a quandary.  Part of me needs people to stay alive.  The other part is dying if I get it. 

Most negative thinkers are not aware they are.  Thinking is just thinking; right?.  Who knew there are subcategories?!  No one ever taught me to notice mind-set in myself or others.  Therapy since trained me in patterns of self-thought; and everyone falls into at least one.  I am called ‘The Critic’.  Many have argued, insisting, I see myself as ‘The Victim’, even insulting when I disagreed.  Turns out, they were wrong. 

These words are among the most dangerous and destructive weapons there are (Proverbs 18:21).  Words can tear down one person or build a whole country.  But, how does God feel about words we use on ourselves?  Does it matter that health issues contribute toward it?  The condition of our hearts is what God sees (Matthew 5:27-28).  Hatred is equivalent to murder because it is as if we have killed in our hearts (1 John 3:15).  Self-hatred is no less of a sin.  I have work to do. 

You Already have the Enemies Battle Plan
Human beings have a natural tendency toward sin (Romans 3:23).  As hard as it is to fight, the good news is we do have an advantage over the enemy.  God has given us the enemies battle plan.  He will deceive, divide and destroy (Jude 17-19).  To win, we have to keep faith in the Holy Spirit to keep us strong.  In the mean time, we are to help those who are struggling.  The only thing we are to hate is sin itself (Jude 20-23). 

We have Victory!
Jesus died to save us from ourselves; which includes negative thinking when we are not capable of seeing the good things.  We don’t need our own strength to keep positive.  If we focus on Him, He will fill our hearts and minds with loving, glorious things.  We are called to love our neighbours as  ourselves (Mark 12:31).  Logic says if we can’t love ourselves, then we can’t love our neighbours.  It’s a sin to hate, use bad words, and not to love (Colossians 3:8).  God supplies every need we have (Philippians 4:19) and He has promised to be close to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:17-20)

Yes, I am broken; but it turns out I’m not the only one.  We each have our own battles to fight, within our own wars.  Words can be used as weapons or useful tools (Proverbs 16:24).  When the enemy is messing with me; using circumstances, mind and body against me, I only have to look at the wonderful things Jesus promises.  

On a side note: if you're actually reading this, the publishing conflicts have been defeated as well! Woo Hoo!

A Few of My Favorite Words
Sometimes Jesus uses others to give us words that build us up.  I am reminded; I am loved, wanted, and cared for.  Jesus is strong enough to defeat disorders.  Below are some of my favorite quotes, said to me by some of my favorite people (in no particular order).  Who wouldn’t feel wonderful after hearing these things?  
(Out of request for privacy initials being used.  First names & links provided in cases where they don’t mind.)
  • “I love you.”  ~MC, SC, PD, SB, Francine, BG, TM, BH, CP, PG, Jesus
  • “You have a wonderful sense of humor.”  ~CF
  • “You’re fun to be with.”  ~PHD
  • “You’re so smart.”  ~CP, AC
  • “This is gonna be one wild ride with this chick.”  ~ GO
  • “My little Carley.  I love you more than anything.”  ~Paul
  • “God does not waste anything.”  ~PHD
  • “You’re so hot.”  ~GO, DF, DC...
  • “When you’re hurting you kinda want the sympathy from someone.”  ~CC
  • “You are a way better Christian; a way better person than I am.”  ~CP
  • “Life is not a journey.  It’s an adventure.”  ~AC
  • “I really miss our friendship.”  ~PHD
  • “If your dreams don’t fit your reality, then change your reality.”  ~Chris  
  • “Your writing brought my friend out of depression... your gift touches lives so please don't take your light away... your family in Christ needs your fellowship.  Pray we are a light to you as well!  God bless!”  ~Lisa
  • Conversation:  I said “They’re called ‘Fluffies’”.  He said “No, they are ‘Woofy Fluffers’”.  After a five minute giggling session / argument, my brother, sitting quietly in his lazy chair (this is the favorite quote part), simply said “Lint”. 

Let’s Pray
 ~~ Dear God ~~  Merciful, loving, gentle and gracious Father; sometimes the enemy that I am fighting against the most is myself.  Thank You, for never giving up on me; when others have, and I even have given up on myself.  Help me to be strong in Your mighty power.  Help me to put on Your full armor to take a stand against the enemy.  Help me put on the girdle of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation.  Finally, Lord, I pick up the Sword of the Spirit, so that I will be protected from all the weapons that are being used against me, including the ones that are hurting myself.  In Jesus name, AMEN.  (Ephesians 6:10-20)

On a more personal note, Lord, I humbly ask Your forgiveness for the negative self-thinking, self-hatred, anger, self-harm; and for all those I leave behind me, hurt at my own word.  Help me to forget the selfish need to be heard and understood; and to focus on You.  In Jesus name, AMEN.  

Special Personal Message
To all the Sparklers that I connect with daily:  You are like bright sparklers in the dark night for me.  You are showing the sparkling glitter of God's light back to me.  In four years, you haven’t let me down.  The Carley Show has been cancelled, but it’s a good thing.  If I remember right Truman eventually found his reality too.  Thank you. 
Now It’s Your Turn
Have you ever stopped to pay attention to your own thinking patterns?  How do you see yourself?  How do others see you?  What are some of the awesome things people have said to you?  Please consider sharing your thoughts here in the comments section; even if the link you clicked to get here was on another site

(If you’re on the homepage, click on the post headline, and scroll down to find the comments section.)

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Workout Routines

~~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV84) ~~  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.



by Carley Cooper

Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images
Even for the most devoted healthy living fanatic, there are days when thought of healthy eating, or hearing the word ‘workout’ makes you feel like you’ve just been kicked in the gut.  It’s enough to make one feel like you have to climb a mountain.  Plus, if you’re new to the workout scene, there’s so much to think about.  I mean what’s the deal with cardio and strength training?  How many sets of how many reps do I do?  How healthy is healthy before it becomes obsession?  Is soy really good for you?  What’s the best between walking, running, swimming, mountain biking, aerobic videos, dancing; and the list goes on?  Should I eat potatoes or not?  And, what’s calisthenics anyway? 

Why is that taking care of ourselves seems so dreadful sometimes?  As someone who’s lost a lot of weight, and has changed my life so drastically in so many areas, I often get people asking me questions such as; what is the most important things I can do?  The disappointment that I see on their faces when I tell them that ‘the keys to success lies in motivation, education and self discipline’; is a common.  This is an unfortunate attitude, but the truth is those things are the keys to finding that place where your body is healthy.  I know this from traveling through that journey myself. 

At the present time I am somewhere in the midst of a journey about disciplines.  I know that because in the past couple months the  number of messages that I am hearing and seeing from God, about disciplines, are overwhelming me.  One of a number of specific things that I am getting messages about is taking care of my body.  Keeping our bodies physically healthy is a spiritual discipline.  By doing this we are worshiping God; and giving the Holy Spirit a nice, clean, healthy place to live.  Think about it... would you want to  live in a rickety, rundown dump of a home that’s filled with garbage and poor air circulation?  No, you wouldn’t, and neither would I.  Well, God doesn’t want that either.  Our body is His temple.  However, I did just that for many years.  I was up to way over 200 pounds once (how high, is not important for this discussion).  I didn’t eat well and I had breathing problems much of the time.  My energy was low on a good day and my mental health was... well, very bad, to say the least.  Even my hair and nails were different as an unhealthy person.  By not taking care of our bodies, and filling it with garbage fuel like processed foods, white flour, artificial sweeteners, hydrogenated oils, high-fructose corn syrup, chemicals, preservatives, antibiotics; and the list goes on, we are giving God exactly that... a shabby shack to live in.   

My health routine to take care of my body involves a daily workout.  My standard workout routine has three parts to it.  I know what you’re thinking.  You know this already; right?  It’s cardio, strength, and cool-down with stretches.  Well, yes and no.  You’re right about those things; but no, those are not the three parts I am referring to.  My morning workout includes a spiritual workout, a mental workout, and a physical workout.  Our bodies are made up of three parts; the physical body, our mind and our spirit. 

First, when I wake up I spend some quiet time with God.  I talk to Him, then I do a devotional time; which involves reading the bible and a message from a devotional book.  Then I finish it off by listening to some worship music for at least 30 minutes.  I do this routine first thing in the morning because I believe that from the time we wake up our minds should be on God.  I have found that if I don’t start my day with Him, the day just does not go right.  Granted that’s not to say we’ll never have a bad day if we start it with prayer; but, I mean, that I’ve noticed that if I don’t start out my day with God, I’m guaranteed to have a rotten day. 

The next part of my routine is my mental workout.  I think this is fundamental for anyone, but for me and others with mental illness I think it is absolutely vital.  For me, this element is made up from meditation, reading and positive thinking.  I have a 30 minute mediation program that I listen to on my MP3 player.  It claims to help change brain chemistry.  There are no words.  It’s just sounds.  After I listen to it I do feel better, and I have more energy.  Because of my Bipolar Disorder, racing thoughts are a constant problem, and first thing in the morning is my worst time.  For me to sit and listen to anything without distraction for very long is impossible; let alone a whole 30 minutes.  As such, to keep my mind from racing too fast while I’m listening to my meditation program, I read a book.  It forces me to have something to focus on.  Even then it’s sometimes very difficult.  There are times that in those 30 minutes I will read only a couple of pages, because I cannot force myself to focus.  It’s common problem for Bipolar sufferers.  Other times, I can read 10 - 15 pages.   

The last part of my mental workout is training my thinking patterns.  For some people, this may not be much of an issue.  All my life my thinking was negative in every aspect of my life.  I wasn’t necessarily aware that it was negative.  It was just the way the world was; I thought.  This was how my mind was trained to think from the beginning.   After I lost the weight, I knew the next step toward mental healthiness was to change my thinking patterns.  This venture was, by far, the hardest part of my lifestyle change; and it continues to be.  To alter what is, essentially, one’s brain chemistry is no small feat, but for those of us with mental illness, who know that our brain chemistry is already off course, as compared to others; it is an even bigger undertaking.  For this, I read positive affirmations.  I have a stack of index cards with positive affirmations written on them.  I also have some books filled with positive quotations and mantras; and, of course, God’s Word.  Plus, as often as I can, I journal, but this can be done anytime of the day.

The final part of my workout practice is my physical workout.  I get my cardio by doing power-walking in the park; when the weather is nice.  On not-so-nice days, I workout with videos.  Then there’s a strength training routine, and stretches. 

Granted, I’m not perfect in my workout or healthy eating routines.  There are days when I just don’t have the mind for it; but I do pray about it.  My standard practice has been to allow myself one day per week to have some treats, so that I don’t feel deprived or left out, if I’m at a public or family function.  Sometimes when I’m not feeling well in the morning or if I have to rush off somewhere and I’m short on time; the first thing that gets cut from the program is the worship music.  Then, if I’m still short on time, the mental health element is the next thing to get slashed.  And my strength-training routine is the hardest part for me to keep on track with.  Plus, sometimes there are days when I over eat, or when I don’t eat at all.  I never cut prayer time, and almost never cut devotional time though.     

What I do know for sure is that to be truly healthy and to reap the benefits, I have to discipline myself better.  I know God wants me to do that.  He has blessings in my future that depend on it.  My motivation is Jesus and spending eternity with Him.  My education comes from God’s Word and a continuous need to know more about healthy living through reading.  My strength for my self-discipline comes from the Holy Spirit.  So, what’s your routine made up of?  Go ahead, climb the mountain; it’s a great workout!



~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for teaching me how to do a complete workout.  Please give me the passion, willingness and the strength I need to develop the discipline to do it daily.  Help me climb the mountain, so I can reach the summit and be with Jesus.  In Jesus name, AMEN.



How My Angel Fell Off the Edge of Heaven

~~ Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) ~~  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.



by Carley Cooper

My original plan for the five article series on angels ended with the last post, “Angels: AJack-of-All-Trades”.  (Thanks to my readers for the great feedback on this series, and for sharing your awesome angel stories with me!  I really enjoyed them!)  Since then God has brought to light for me another type of angel.  Though I briefly touched on it in the last piece, I hadn’t really given the idea of ‘Fallen Angels’ much serious thought.   

I mean, I know that some of the celestial type willingly jumped off the edge of the clouds of Heaven to play in the tar pit; but what about the other angels... the ones that live here with us?  What happens when one of your angels falls off their pedestal?  It can be devastating and life altering.  It can make you question everything you know.  This happened to me.  Someone important in my life has completely changed the nature of our relationship.  It’s left a very big hole in my life that no one else can fill.  It’s made me question the relationship I thought we had.  Is it real?  Was it ever real?  How could I have let my guard down and trusted someone that much?  I knew better; didn’t I?  How do I know who I can trust in the future?  How do I know what’s solid and reliable in my present?  I have plans and goals that I am working toward; and I’ve come to second guess my whole focus and strategy. 

God has been working very hard to remind me of a few things since this happened.  I got a few  divine messages that are slowly helping the dust clear from my head.  I’ve been lead through a long, hard journey in my lifetime to learn to become independent and strong; and an even harder journey to learn to think positively, standing on my own two feet.  I won’t go into the details on that here and now because... well, because I could write a book about that journey.  As a matter of fact I am writing one.  For my loyal followers, be patient, it’s coming!  Anyway, God has taught me (and more than once it seems) that there is no setback that I can’t overcome as long as He is with me (Philippians 4:13 NKJV).  Why do I forget this sometimes? 

Everyone makes mistakes (Romans 3:23 NIV84).  I am to learn from it and move on.  I also, am not, to hold a grudge against someone for what I perceive to be a wrong (Luke 6:37 NIV84).  There is messy stuff that we just don’t want to face; pain, hurt, rejection, anger, the intense need to smack a guy up the side of the head to make him smarten up (eh, well, maybe that last one is strictly a female thing).  These things are certainly difficult, but once you get through it you’ll find that wonderful new things are waiting for you.  My friend once told me, “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water”.  Good advice!  I can’t let the past dictate my future.  God doesn’t want me to live that way.  I did for way too long and He’s worked hard to bring me out of that place; so I just can’t throw that gift back to Him.  It would be like saying “Thanks Lord, but I’d rather play in the dirt”.  Truthfully, the original hurt made me really want to play in dirt again.  It honestly looked like the better option.  It’s an option that I am familiar with and comfortable with.  However, God is reaching out to me.  I’ve seen the signs and I have to stop ignoring them.  It is my responsibility to reach out and take His hand.  Romans 12:2 (NLT) tells us “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  God is challenging me to hold on to the new  mindset that He’s worked so hard to instil in me.  I have to stop listening to lies from the enemy and accept God’s test.   Hmmm, come to think of it, I have been praying that He would show me when He’s testing my faith.  I certainly have no right to complain when He answers. 

My very special friend Ramona put it this way “I know it's corny, but whenever something is removed from our grasp it's usually because God is making room for something better.  Keep the faith, Carley!”  Of course, she also summed it all up very nicely in one of her own blogs by saying “Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!”.  Good advice as well!  On a side note, she also said that I should go buy some awesome new shoes to go with the big girl panties.  (Thanks for the advice Ramona.  You’re a Babe!  I’m thinking red high heels.  Whatta ya think?

That’s not to say that all is perfect in the world again.  As far as I can see I still feel like it’s no longer moving on its axis.  I still don’t know the answers to so many questions I have.  I only know that God does know the answers.  I can’t demand that someone respond the way I would like them to.  I can’t make them accept apologies or believe me when I tell them things have changed.  It’s also likely that next time I will test and re-test the water before I open up; but I have to keep faith in Jesus to lead me through.  Not only that but, that hole is still there and it still hurts very much.  How am I to fill that big hole in my life?  I don’t!  God will fill it, and I’m starting to feel a tingle of excitement in anticipation about what He’s going to fill it with.   

I’ve come to realize that if anyone is on a pedestal it’s ‘cause I put them there (hmmm, another lesson that I seem to remember learning before).  No one should be placed on that pedestal other than Jesus.  I am also reminded that my perception of right and wrong is distorted, at best, to begin with.  If the view looks different, maybe it wasn’t my angel who walked over the edge.  Maybe it was me.  It would certainly explain the nasty bump I just felt and the dusty brain.

I love the artwork above.  It's titled 'Fallen Angel'.  I want to reach out and hold her and let her cry on my shoulder without saying a word to her.  I just want to let her feel the safety to let her feelings out without the fear of being judged or rejected because of it.  I so very much want to let her know she is loved no matter what; no matter how broken she is.  I chose this artwork for this post because she looks like me... she has the same body I had most of my life, same hair, same color.  But more importantly; just like me, she's also alone, with the same tears, hopeless feelings and broken wings.  It hurts to see myself like this, but what hurts even more is that someone I love very, very much sees me like this now and has rejected me because of it.  I am broken and no longer good enough in his eyes.  I no longer have his respect, admiration or love.  It's turned my world upside down.  It's a pattern I've seen many times in my life when people suddenly see that I'm not the perfect person they thought I was.  Why do we see ourselves like this, when God sees us so differently?  Why does the opinion of others matter so much?



~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for never giving up on me.  Thank You for the strength that You give me that carries me through each day.  Thank You for testing my faith.  Help me to see myself and things clearly; from Your point of view.  I also pray that You could help me adjust to changes easier in my life.  I pray that You will restore my brokenness in the eyes of my lost loved ones.  Please help me fill the void that is left and to feel Your peace with me each and every day.  In Jesus name, AMEN.