Are You Searching for God too?

Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) says “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

---

by Carley Cooper

I was chatting, the other day, with a lady at church.  She was telling me a story about how she went to visit the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum, in Toronto, Ontario, Canada).  She went to see the exhibition called The Forbidden City: Inside the Court of China's Emperors.  She said it’s a fascinating display.  Maybe her reaction to it came from the fact that she is a Christian, but she came away from it being amazed at how obvious it is that mankind has always been searching for God.

Oh Lord, Where are You?

Later, I have to say the more I thought about her comments, the more I realized how right she is.  Mankind was separated from God with the first sin by Adam, and we’ve been lost and searching for Him ever since.  We were never meant to live away from God.  We were made to exist with Him to love and be loved.  Life just isn’t going to function properly without that relationship. 

You Can Find Him

Thankfully, because of the sacrifice Christ did for us on the cross, that separation is temporary.  We are able to have that missing relationship with Him after all.  The problem lies with the fact that even though God assures us that He’s with us all the time, we haven’t stopped searching because we are not with Him physically anymore like Adam and Eve were in the garden. 

We need to ask God to help us realize that He is indeed with us.  He will never leave us and He will never change.  The fact is that it’s not God who is doing the withdrawing.  It is us.  We are trying to run our own lives under the mistaken idea that God is not there anymore.  We wander through the long winding roads and paths of life that are leading us on an unnecessary journey through valleys and over mountains.  We are trusting our own feelings and emotions when we should be looking to God for guidance. 

Lay It At the Foot of the Cross

So what do we do to get closer to God?  We have to spend more time communicating with Him through prayer and time studying His Word.  A true relationship with Jesus is vital.  We have to lay our burdens at the foot of the cross.  As we grow closer to Jesus, our relationship with Him will grow stronger, our faith will grow, and we will rejoice in His awesome grace and mercy.  The closer you get to Him, the more He will indeed reveal Himself to you. 

Why don’t you talk to Him today.  Get out your Bible and read just one chapter every day.  It will help you a great deal, I assure you.  Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) says “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Here’s a Psalm that I often read when I’m feeling far from God.  I’m sure it will help you too.

Psalm 139 (NIV)

1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Let’s Pray

Dear God ~~ Wonderful, loving Father, even though it’s hard for us to see sometimes You are always there with us.  You know us better than we know ourselves.  You know what’s best for us.  Thank You for never leaving me or giving up on me.  Please help me see myself the way you see me.  I pray in Jesus name, AMEN

Now It’s Your Turn

Thoughts?  Questions?  Want to share your story?  Ask for prayer? Please share in the comments section.

(If you’re on the homepage, click on the post headline, & scroll down to find the comments section.)

Check out these other great options and join in the conversations...

Passing of the Seasons

~~ Psalm 139:7-8 (NIV) ~~  Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

---

Lilacs in the Spring Time - Photo by Carley Cooper. All Rights Reserved

by Carley Cooper

Ever have one of those seasons in your life when you feel lost?  I mean it’s like you’re separated from God?  That’s where I am right now.  I’ve been there for a while.  I don’t like this feeling.  It’s very cold. 

Why Do I Feel This Way?

Maybe it’s all the changes that are happening in my life right now.  I’m moving soon... into a basement apartment... in the house where my parents will also live.  Is that too close for comfort?

My Bipolar Disorder is stable, and has been for the past couple of months.  It’s a new experience really, but that’s a blog all on its own.

I’ve also finished my book.  Well, there’s still editing and publishing, but I’ve come as far as I can on this project alone.  That’s what’s been keeping me so busy lately; why I haven’t published many posts on here in the last couple of months.

Is that my problem?  I’m feeling lost without my focus being on my book?  Maybe it’s something else.  What?  I’m not sure. 

The Seasons Will Pass

I remember telling Pastor once that all the sermons at our church seemed to be about me.  He said “that’s because you’re open to the Holy Spirit’s message.”  Now, I’m not feeling that so much.  Does that mean that I’m not so open anymore?  Is it normal to have seasons in your life like these?  Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 (NIV) says

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

God Knows Where You Are

Then, I read Psalm 139:7-10 (NIV)

Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

What I’ve come to realize is that God is never lost.  If I’m feeling separated from Him, then it’s me that’s lost.  So, yes, this too shall pass. 

Let’s Pray

 ~~ Dear God ~~ Wonderful, loving Father.  So often my attention is not focused on You, but instead on other things.  Thank You for never leaving me.  Thank You for the seasons in my life that teach me so much.  Please help me feel closer to You in everything that I say and do.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

Now It’s Your Turn

Thoughts?  Questions?  Want to share your story?  Ask for prayer?  Please consider sharing in the comments section; even if the link you clicked to get here was on another site.  (If you’re on the homepage, click on the post headline, and scroll down to find the comments section.)

Check out these other great options and join in the conversations...
RSS Feed	Facebook	Twitter	YouTube

The Flip Side

~~ Luke 15:32 (NIV84) ~~ But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.  

---

 by Carley Cooper

Gravenhurst, Ontario
Photo by Carley

Remember your senior year of high school?  I bet it felt like the longest year of your whole life, as though it was twice as long as other years.  Why?  Well, it was because you were anxiously waiting to finish high school, to start your life as an adult.  Do you remember the day you left home; I am guessing, because you were leaving for college?  It was an awesome day.  You got to move into your own space, and do your own thing.  Mom was not there to tell you that you have to eat broccoli.  Even better was that she was not there to tell you that you cannot have sugary cereals, for dinner; or cold, left-over pizza for breakfast.  There was no curfew, you could watch whatever you wanted on TV, and party with your friends all weekend long.  Venturing out into the world without a chaperone looking over your shoulder; was the ultimate freedom.  It probably never occurred to you to feel like you were lost.

Well, for some, you are now on the Flip Side; you are now the parent.  You are sending your own kids off to college for the first time, and you are feeling scared half to death to let them go off into the big scary world alone.  “My baby is growing up way too fast.”, “How am I going to protect him when he is in another city?”, “What if he gets sick?  Who is going to take care of him?”, “How am I going to save him from dating the wrong type of person, or from getting involved with a bad crowd?”, “How do I protect him from peer pressures of drugs, sex and booze?”.  The list of things to worry about is never ending.  Every fibre of your being wants to hold that child, protect him; never let him experience any hurt, disappointment, or hatred.  If you had your way he would never even experience a cut finger.  Above all else, you certainly do not want your sweet baby doing the things you did in college!  You want only love, laughter and joy in your child’s life; for his whole life.

As a parent, you are most certainly not alone in those things you are feeling.  Every parent who has ever had to let go of a child has felt these things and much more.  Now, for just a minute; imagine what it would feel like if your baby went off into the big world and then stopped all contact with you.  What would that feel like for you?  There are no emails, no letters, no text messages, no phone calls, and no visits home for the weekends or holidays.  Even worse than that, all your calls and messages go unanswered.  You have given this child everything that he has ever needed, guided him, moulded him, and loved him with your whole soul more than life itself.  It would be excruciating to have him willingly walk out of your life without an explanation. 

The feeling that you would be completely lost without your child is something that Jesus understood very well.  In Luke 15, Jesus tells us parables of the ‘Lost Sheep’, ‘Lost Coin’, and the ‘Lost Son’.  When the lost is found, in each parable, the Master has a celebration.  Nothing else matters, except that the Master is reunited with the lost.  When we venture out into the world alone, without God, and determined to live our life according to our own agenda, we get separated from Him.  We are lost.  More than that, God’s heart is missing us and longing for us.  He wants us with Him.  We may not even be aware that we are lost because we are too busy enjoying the scenery on the journey we have laid out for ourselves...  or worse, we are just coasting along without a plan, not knowing or caring where we are headed.  The problem here is that we end up, either, on a dead end track; or one that is leading straight to the edge of a cliff.  God is trying to get your attention to let you know that only He can move us onto the right track.  He wants to protect us from getting lost, falling over the edge, or ending up in the middle of no-where. 

God has the most amazing blessings waiting for you if only you would call home.  He is as much a member of your family as your spouse, kids, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even pets. With every decision you make, every trip you plan, every holiday you celebrate; Jesus should be included in the plans.  For example, I wake up every morning, no matter what the weather, look out my window and say “Good Morning, Lord.  Thank You for the wonderful day; and thank You for the wonderful apartment in this wonderful city.”  He is a member of my home and I like to greet Him as I would anyone else when I get up in the morning.  I have also learned to make decisions according to what He would like me to do.  I pray to Him and wait for an answer.  Sometimes I do not get the answer I would prefer, but I have learned not argue with Him anymore as I used to do.  It is a little bit like chasing your own tail... completely pointless.  A friend once offered me the most incredible gift; of a trip of a lifetime to travel Europe.  I turned it down, because the specific circumstances surrounding this gift would have placed me in a position that would likely cause me to stray away from God.  I am not willing to take that risk.  I do not ever want to live without God in my life, again.

Do you make God a member of your family?  Do you include Him in decisions you make?  Do you talk to Him every day?  If not, He is calling you.  He is your Father, and He loves you.  He misses you, just as you would miss your kids or anyone else in your family that would suddenly drop from the scene.  So, before you go about your life without including God; put yourself on the Flip Side and imagine how He is feeling having to live without you.  He is waiting to celebrate your home coming.

---

 ~~ Dear God ~~  The plans that You have laid out for my life are perfect.  They include dreams and blessings beyond anything my imagination can come up with.  Please always keep me close to You, and do not ever let me wander off into the world alone to follow my own track.  I love You and I do not ever want to live my life without You.  Just like the lost Son, in Jesus’ parable, I want to come home to live my life with You, and I am looking forward to the celebration that You have planned.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

---

Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

~~ Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) ~~   I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

---

Carla - Age 18 - St. John's, Newfoundland

Have you ever wished you could go back and do things over again?  I do not think I know anyone who has not said at least once in their lives “If I could go back and do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I would do it so differently”.  Maybe just to give yourself some advice would help so very much.  The idea of writing your younger self a letter is hardly a unique one.  I have read letters written by others to themselves and found them to be incredibly interesting, so I thought I would write one for myself.  The process of gathering information and bits of advice; and forming them into this letter, was a lengthy one.  It turns out, though, that this course has been as enlightening to me in the present day, as it would have been to my younger self, but for different reasons.  It seems that I have come through a lot of trials and trauma in my life.  I am a survivor.  I have grown to be a person that is incredibly strong, and I have enough experience to give some very good and practical advice to someone younger.  Most of all, I can see that I have grown, and am still growing, into a woman that I can be proud of. 

---

Dear Carley,

Well, you are 18 now... legally an adult just starting your life.  I want to give you some advice to prepare you for the life you are about to embark on.  I know what your first thought is... “Who’s Carley?”  Carley is you... me... us!  It is what most people call you now.  It started as a pet name with just a slight change from Carla, and it stuck.  I let it happen because I like it, and I was on a journey to find and heal myself.  I need to create the me that I always knew was inside somewhere longing to get out.  She is the me in our dreams that few others have seen, and she got lost somewhere along the path tangled in the midst of a lot of pain.  I felt that God gave me the new name to go with the new me.  She is you, and one day she will be me again, only better than before.  The journey we are on did not have to be as difficult as it has been, though I am learning to be thankful for it. 

First; know that It is not only OK to be different, but it is cool.  I know that you cannot begin to wrap your brain around that concept right now, but one day you will see that people who are all the same are not original.  Being different makes you special... really!  Let go of all the bad memories from school when the kids laughed at you, made fun of you, and said nasty things.  They had their own hurt inside that they did not know how to deal with, and they took it out on you.  This applies to anyone throughout your life who says mean things to you; and there will be others.  It is not about you.  Let go of the pain before the nightmares start and you need therapy to get rid of them.  It is important to set boundaries for yourself; which you can do without being mean.  Also, keep in mind that others cannot see things from your point of view.  No matter what you say to others, they will not learn what ever lesson you are trying to teach them.  It takes your experiences to create your point of view.  Only you can ever have it.

When you get that letter from MUN, do not turn it down.  You will regret it for the rest of your life.  You do not need to know the whole plan for your life or what your major is before you start university.  Many, if not most, believe it or not, do not know what they want to do even after they start college.  You are not the only one who does not know.  It will help you find yourself, and help you figure out what your dreams are.  Dream big... do not limit yourself.  There are people there who will help you.  Do not focus all your attention on the one dream of becoming a Mother.  It is the equivalent of chasing your own tail.  Put it on the back burner.  Some of your dreams will not come to pass in the format you hope for; and if you continue to push away all other ideas, your life will one day be derailed.  Go to school.  Choose something that will allow you to express your creativity.  We love Interior Design (not Interior Decorating... turns out there is a difference); and toss in some business courses.  Also you will grow to love writing.  No matter what you do in life, business and writing will be useful.  On the side, do some photography courses.  It is so much fun!  Do not delay dreams like sky diving, underwater diving; or taking lessons in music, singing or dancing.  One day you will feel like it is too late.  Oh, and correspondence programs are not the same.  Do not settle for this.

Next, some things that I wish someone would have told me:

• Now that you have your license, get a car!  Do not put it off. 
• Travel.  Go anywhere and everywhere.  The world is not as scary as you think it is.  I know that going to St. John’s at first was overwhelming and terrifying; but it does not have to be.  Travelling is an adventure.  Enjoy it.
• Read more - for at least 30 minutes each day. 
• Eat right!  Educate yourself on how to achieve and maintain a healthy body.  Stay away from junk food, non-fat or low-fat anything (they are not as wonderful as the media will make you think they are).  Avoid anything made with white flour, or anything that says ‘enriched’.  Above all else avoid artificial sweeteners and processed foods.  If it comes in a box or a bag, chances are you do not want it.  Do your shopping in the produce and meat departments.  Buy only whole-grain breads and such items... not whole-wheat!  They are very important for good health.  Always go organic when you can.  Grab any opportunity to buy farm fresh unprocessed milk products.  Store-bought dairy are filled with chemicals, preservatives, hormones, and antibiotics; all of which are dangerous, and will affect your health!
• Exercise.  Every day!  Working out does not mean sports!  Go swimming, ride your bike; but you will find that power-walking is something you will fall in love with.  Hold on to it.  Oh, and do sit-ups daily, without fail.
• Wear a good support bra.  Go to a good lingerie store and get yourself properly fitted for one.  You are not wearing the correct size.  Do not even bother to look at the price tag.  Whatever it says, it is worth it!
• Do not mix money with friendship or family.  The two just do not mix well so do not even try.
• When the time comes and you find yourself watching a lot of TV, turn it off!  It is a nasty habit that was very hard for me to break; but now that I have I am so very thankful!
• Cut up the credit cards.
• Do not start taking antidepressants.  You have a right to say no.  Also, do not let them keep doing surgeries because of your ovaries.  There are other options.  Do not trust the advice of every doctor you see.  Read, research and know your rights before accepting care from a doctor.  Not all doctors know what they are talking about, even when they sound like they do.
• When Mom and Dad ask you to move to leave Newfoundland and go to Ontario with them; do not fight it.  It will be one of the best decisions you will ever make.  There is the most amazing world out there that you never imagined was there!
• Do not put Dad on a pedestal.  The view is not a realistic one.  You will never stop being Daddy’s little girl.
• Do not let Daphne and John, Charlene or Charlyse drift out of your life.  You will need them one day, and if you do not stay in touch you will have no one to turn to.  Life is lonely without friends.
• When, Graham comes along, know that you will be a best friends forever.  Do not let anyone tell you that having a guy for a best friend is wrong.  You will share a special friendship that so many do not get in their lifetime.  One day when an argument gets out of hand, do not let him walk out the door without making up first.  Ten years without him was much too long to wait to see my best friend.
• Shadow belongs with you.  Do not let him go.
• Roommates – you will have quite a few.  One named Lawrence is bad news!  Do not go there.
• Learn to enjoy being alone.  I know that is a concept that seems contradictory to you right now.  Loneliness is painful; but it can also be a wonderful time of solitude.  Learn to embrace that or it can eat you alive.

About men - do not believe everything that some sweet talking guy whispers to you... no matter how cute he is.  The boyfriend you have right now is not as loyal as you believe him to be.  Let that relationship go and move on.  I know it is very hard sometimes to tell the difference between lust and love, but they are worlds apart.  When you are young and know you are in love... you are not.  Real love will come along when you are truly ready for it and there will be no doubt.  Do not be so willing to give yourself to a man.  It will not make him love you.  In your twenties you will get an overwhelming amount of attention from men; especially on the beach and in bars, but beware, they are not chasing your heart.  Before you get married, make sure he loves you as much as you love him.  If there is any doubt, then getting married is the wrong thing to do.  Stop worrying about the clock.  There is no rulebook that says it has to happen by a certain age.  It is better to wait than to end up in divorce court on your 30^th birthday.  Finally, do not ever, ever, ever, let any man abuse you physically, mentally, emotionally or financially.  Do not give them power over you by falling for the guilt trips.  Be strong.

Paul deserves a special mention.  When he comes along, just know that his ego is just a facade to hide his big heart, but unlike most you will see through it immediately.  He will break your heart more than you ever imagined possible, but do not let that stop you.  You will share a bond that very few other couples in the world ever get to share; seriously!  You will even have people commenting on it on a regular basis.  Despite the heartbreak, the love is worth it.

Partying - drinking yourself stupid will not impress the kind of man you want in your life.  Partying is fun, but you need to keep it in perspective.  One day when Graham ties you to a chair and screams at you, listen to his message.  Do not fight it.  It will change the path your life is on.  Too much booze will bring you a lot of trouble and heartache.

Of all the lessons that you will learn, of all the advice that you can get from me or others; the most important thing and the most important decision that you will ever make is to invite Jesus to live in your heart.  Do it now!  Do not put it off.  Please look to God for all you need.  God wants you to have a relationship with Him.  Yes... a relationship with God!  I know that does not make any sense to you now, but once you open your heart, truly, to Jesus, you will begin to understand.  It will change your life.  Even the world around you will start to look different... more alive somehow.  God loves you!  Being a Christian is not limiting.  In fact, it is freedom.  It’s awesome!

Once Jesus is the focus of your life you will learn many things, understand things with much more clarity and get many blessings.  One of the greatest will be the gift of forgiveness.  However, first you have to understand that it is something you do for yourself, not for others.  This does not mean that you are telling them that what they did to you was OK; but truly forgiving opens up a whole world of new possibilities.  Always choose caring over uncaring, giving over passing by, give the benefit of the doubt over criticism or gossip or judging.  Do not lose faith in people.  They will hurt you, but they also are hurting; it is not about you.  Measure any kind of frustrations from others or indecisions by this standard... “Will this alter my life in 5 years from now... or even 1 year from now?”  If the answer is ‘no’ then do not give it another thought.  It is not important.

Keep smiling.  You are beautiful.  Please do not start hurting yourself because you think you deserve it for not being pretty.  You are wrong.  One day you will see that a lot of people will be telling you that, and they will mean it.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I am a child of God.  I am beautiful.”  Then, believe it!  Every time you hurt yourself, or belittle yourself, it hurts God.  Do not let go of that bubbly personality that so many keep telling you is why they fell in love with you.  If you hide her inside, one day you will not know how to let her out again.  Life can get very lonely after that.

Do not ever quit!  Hold on to your dreams.  Follow your heart and do not be influenced by others; not even Mom and Dad.  You have to live in your body and live your life.  Do not ever hurt anyone to get there, but you have to make yourself happy first.  Learn to push yourself... hard!  You will come to treasure that about yourself.  Do not let anyone tell you that Prince Charming does not exist, or that any of your dreams is not realistic.  Anything is reasonable if you work hard and let God lead the way.  Do not let anyone talk you into limiting yourself like that.

So, my wonderfully innocent and naive young self, if you take nothing else from this message, just remember these things... first, that person who was hurting you before is the bad person.   It is not your fault.  Repeat after me “it is not my fault”.  You did nothing wrong.  Next, invite Jesus to be the center of your world, and learn to dance in the rain; because the rest will take care of itself in God’s wonderful timing.

Love always, 

Me

---

 ~~ Dear God ~~    I know that I cannot go back and change my life.  I also know that no matter what plan I may have, what advice I may be given; that the plan You have already prepared for my life is the perfect path.  Despite all the bad decisions, wrong turns, disobedience, and sin that have caused so much pain and trauma; I know that You are leading me on my journey.  Thank You, Father for this journey.  Please teach me with each and every step all the lessons that I need to know to get closer to You.  Open my eyes and ears; along with my mind and my heart to be anxious, willing and able to receive the Holy Spirit.  Make me a disciple for Jesus that will make You proud.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

---

 

How God Led Me Home

~~ 1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV84) ~~  The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body.  So it is with Christ. 

---

Photo by Google Maps

One day when I was about 3 years old I got lost in the supermarket.  I was likely only an isle or two away from my Mom but, at that time, it felt like hundreds of kilometers.  I remember feeling so alone and so terrified.  The world suddenly seemed big and scary.  This very nice man talked to me and asked me some questions, and then he helped me find my Mom.  Since I was so young I do not remember all the details, but I do remember feeling so very happy when I saw my Mom again.  It was like going home after a long time away. 
Many years later when I first started to look for a church to attend, I had no idea which one to pick.  At that time in my life I was not Christian in the true sense of the word.  Granted I believed in the basic facts, like the virgin birth, Jesus lived a perfect sinless life, His death on the cross, and His resurrection.  I also knew that the Baptism and Holy Communion are important in choosing a church.  I did not have a relationship with Christ, nor did I have any concept of what could possibly mean.  Neither did I know or understand the Holy Spirit.  I had no idea that they are an absolutely vital part of the Christian life.  The one thing I did know though was that I could feel the pull within me to find a church.  I prayed for God to “help me find a church home, like a family where I can fit in, that will become the center of my world”.  I was not even sure I understood what this meant, or why I prayed this prayer so often because I had never heard the terms ‘church home’ or ‘church family’ before.  I had been to a lot of churches in my life and none talked about these things, or this kind of ‘belonging together’.  I only knew that I felt the need for it, that I had never known the feeling of fitting in, and that we are called to attend church regularly just as Jesus did (Luke 4:16 (NIV84) - He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom.).  But to find that church... I mean, there are so many denominations; all with their own ‘rules’; and each one claiming their rules are the ‘right’ rules.  How does one know which one to choose?  Does it matter?  I just wanted a church that did not care about ‘set rules’ but instead followed the bible without leaving parts out, changing it, or twisting anything to suit their needs.

My first choice was a church that I remembered being only 10 minutes walk from the new apartment I was about to move in to.  Convenient, since I do not have a car.  The new apartment was in a different city.  I was moving back home and was so very excited about that!  They say ‘home is where the heart is’ and I took the opportunity to move back to the place that my heart says is home, after my life took a huge unexpected turn.  I arrived in town, and that church I remembered being just a hop and a skip down the street... wasn’t!  They had moved.  It seems during the years I had lived elsewhere they outgrew their building.  The old building was now the new location of my dog’s veterinary hospital.  Great... we got our old vet back just down the road, but no church!  This meant that I would have to find another church; and that I would have to get connected with someone who could help me with transportation.  This problem for me was in the same category as the chicken and the egg.  I need transportation to get to church, but I need to go to church to meet people who could help me with transportation.

At this point, the thought occurred to me that since I have to find a church elsewhere, I might as well find one that I felt had the same beliefs as I have.  I figured, if I am to spend my life attending services every Sunday with this group, whoever they may be, than being comfortable with their belief system would make things much more enjoyable.  There are those out there that are not necessarily Christian, though they claim to be.  Then there are those that have beliefs and practices that are just... well, down-right ‘weird’.  I started to do some research and began with the church that I had originally planned on going to; in their new location.  I read their doctrine, statement of faith, beliefs, and core values.  I very much liked what I saw.  They had all the ‘good stuff’ I was looking for and none of the ‘bad or weird stuff’. 

However, I felt that I should keep researching just to make sure I knew all my options.  I checked out many other churches in the area; looking at the same information, mainly through their websites.  There were a few that did not have this information listed; so I emailed them and asked some questions.  Most were more than willing to share about themselves.  There were also a few that did not want to share so willingly.  I saw this as a ‘red flag’ and crossed them off the list right away.  In all my research, I found none that I liked as much as the first one.  Eventually, that first church became like a measuring stick that I used to evaluate others.  One day I said to myself “if that’s the church you want, than just make your decision and go”!  So I did... make the decision, that is.  Getting there was still a problem. 

Then one day my cousin said that she wanted to start going to church as well.  Wouldn’t you know it, she chose the same one I had picked!  So we went together in her car.  However, she changed her mind a short time later and stopped going.  I was so very disappointed.  I had enjoyed the services and the people more than I expected.  There was a certain warmth among them that I had never felt in church before.  There was also something special within their sermons that touched my heart and shed some light in ways that I had never experienced before in church.  Plus their music was a wonderful mix of old and new, which I so very much appreciated!  Nevertheless, I felt I had not been going there long enough to know other people well enough to request a ride on Sunday’s.  So, with no transportation any more, I would have to go back to Sunday morning TV services as my church time, hoping that one day soon I would find a solution.  So I waited for an answer to show up.... for about 2 years. 

Then one day I got an email in response to an advertisement I placed looking for a new roommate.  Without someone to share my apartment with, expenses were just too high to live alone.  This reply came on the last possible day before I would have to move again.  It turned out that this person not only showed up just in the nick of time, but is Christian and is a member of the church I had waited so long to join!  I saw this as a sign from God that this was the person I was to accept as my new roomie.  I felt this so strongly that I before I even replied to the email I called my Mom to tell her the good news that I had found my roommate!  During this time in my life I was very social-phobic.  This new friend ended up bringing me to church, introducing me to people; and helping me feel comfortable.  Since then my heart and my life have changed drastically as a direct result of being part of this church.  I am a whole new person, with a whole new life.

It has been a little more than 2 years since attending my first service there.  My first reasons for choosing a church were simply due to location and convenience.  I did not even include God in the decision process.  For that matter, during those days I did not know I could or should include Him.  He used this to lead me on a journey that would bring me full circle, but this time I would know without a doubt that God led me to this place.  It is His decision where my home church should be.  God is the one who places us in each and every position in our lives; to fulfill His purposes.  If we keep Him in our focus we will complete that purpose; His glory will shine and we will have many blessings bestowed upon us.  Today, I can understand that it is important for me to know God led me here because it leaves me no doubt that this is where I belong.  When we are in a position to see that it is His calling or our lives, we have no reason to doubt or rethink the decision.  We know that no matter what the present circumstances may appear to be, that the future is very bright. 

Since then, the church really has become the center of my world.  I have learned what a church family is and what a church home is.  I have also been introduced to the Holy Spirit, and have developed a relationship with God.  I am growing closer to Him with each and every lesson I learn.  My views on certain portions of my life went from a completely worldly perspective to one that God’s Word calls to live.  I volunteer on a regular basis, I attend bible studies, Adult Christian Education courses, I work at the Welcome Centre sometimes on Sunday’s, and any other areas where I may be useful.  I do all of this because I just love Jesus so much that my heart longs to do these things for Him.  I am part of something bigger.  I have a place and a purpose.  I am part of the Body.  I am part of a group; and I feel I belong there.  I have never had that before in my whole life.  This is a whole new experience for me.  They have welcomed me into their midst, made me a member of their family and they have shown me love like I have never known.  I in turn made a commitment to them when I was enrolled as a member.  Sunday’s are my favorite day of the week because it is worship day.  I get to sing ‘Worship Melodies’ to Him.  There is no doubt in my mind that I am where I was meant to be.  I am no longer lost.  Just like that day when I was 3 years old, I have finally come home. 

---

~~ Dear God ~~  Your ways, Your plans, Your purposes are all perfect.  Thank You for leading me home to You, and for the incredible position that You have blessed me with in Your divine plan for the world.  Thank You for bringing me closer to You with each and every lesson I learn and every ‘Worship Melody’ that I sing to You.  Even when circumstances are upsetting from my point of view, I know that You have a wonderful ending planned for me.  I do not have to question if I have made any wrong decisions or choices.  Those that I have made You will erase.  As long as I follow You and I will never again be lost.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

---

The Big Trophy

~~Mark 8:36 ~~ What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?

 

---

Free source photo

The excitement in the air was thick enough that it could barely be contained.  The big game was about to happen.  It was the most exciting thing since... well, since last year’s big season-ending game!  Both sides being sure that they would be the ones blessed to carry the big trophy.  Who would get to bring home Lord Stanley’s big cup?  

I may be the only one, but I did not watch the game; and I had no intention of watching.  Maybe I am not a hockey fan?  Truth is I do not know if I am.  There has not been anyone who sat with me to explain the game to me so my interest has not had a chance to grow.  I live alone.  This may be a female perspective, but I see no point in watching alone.  I would certainly be open to watching a game if I were with someone I love; which, I think is the point for many people.

Well, it is the morning after the big game.  The big cup got to stay ‘over there’... across the border in the US.  There are many that seem to be rather upset with this outcome.  I have not seen any TV coverage about the reaction of the fans.  I just know that it is nasty to say the least with riots happening.  I do not watch much television.  Even without seeing the game, or seeing any news coverage; it is impossible to miss the frenzy of the fans on the losing side.  It is everywhere.  People are talking about it; emailing, texting, blogging, posting in on social websites.  

Sometimes I wonder where people’s priorities lay.  This is a game.  It is not life altering.  People are not supposed to be hurt, die, nor have their lives transformed because of the outcome.  It is entertainment.

Jesus told us a story about two men who built houses.  One built his house on a rock with a firm foundation.  The other built his house upon the earth without a firm foundation.  The moment nasty weather hit, the house with the firm foundation stayed put, but the house without a firm foundation was wiped out and lost.  (Luke6:46-49).  

The hockey fans, it seems to me, are much like this man without a firm foundation on his home.  Where do their priorities lay?  Why should losing a game alter their lives?  If it does not, then why the violent reaction?  How does this outcome alter their ability to spend eternity in heaven with Jesus?  The ‘storm’ hit and their lives seem ruined.

For those who are on the losing side, why destroy your own city because your team did not win?  What does this accomplish?  People need to follow the lead of Jesus and think about others; think about what is truly important.  Does losing this game compare to what those who have had to watch a loved battle cancer for over a decade go through?  Does it compare with those who have lost their children to diseases like Cystic Fibrosis?  Does it compare with those who cannot walk?  Does it compare with the pain of seeing a loved one throw away their life because they are addicted to crack?  Does it compare with the pain of seeing loved ones who are lost to the Lord and have no hope of going to heaven if they do not find Jesus?  Does it compare with the pain of watching a loved one be accused of a crime he did not commit?  Does it compare with the pain of going through mental illness, or watching loved ones battle with these problems?  These are all things that have touched my life in one way or another.   No trophy will finally cure my Aunt’s cancer, or help my friend walk properly, or rid my friend of his crack addiction, or rid my friend of the false crime accusations; or bring back my first boyfriend who died of a terrible lung disease at the tender age of 14.  The fans have filled their hearts with hatred... for what?  Who has gained from all this?  As one dear friend pointed out this morning “Come tomorrow, it will be quite lucrative to be a Vancouver-based lawyer.”

For those on the winning side, what have they gained... really and truly gained?  Bragging rights?  From my experience, the novelty of bragging wears off in a hurry!  Money?  That has a tendency to disappear quite fast as well.  Jesus said it best, as only He can, “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36).

---

~~Dear God~~ Please do not let the priorities in my heart be anything outside of Your will for me.  Change my heart to suit Your Will.  Each time a ‘big game’ happens for me, and I happen to be on the losing side; please help me be thankful that I was able to play and have fun.  Teach me to shake hands and say “Thanks for a great game.  It was fun.  Congratulations on winning the Big Trophy”.  In Jesus name, AMEN. 

---

A Great Adventure

~~ Luke 15: 24 (NIV84) ~~ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

---

Photo by Carley

The phone rang and I answered it.  A voice from City Hall said “Is this the owner of Casey?”.  

“Yes”, I said.

“Are you missing him?”

The question threw me.  “What do you mean by ‘missing him’?” I asked.

“Well, someone found him and they gave us his dog license tag number.”

I instantly felt numb.  My heart stopped and dropped to the bottom of my stomach, at the thought that my baby wasn’t where he should be.  The voice said, “I can give you the contact information to call the lady who has him”.  

I wrote down the information, called the phone number and went to rescue my baby without a moment’s hesitation.  It could have been half way to the moon, and I would have moved the planet to one side if it was necessary in order to get him back.  I got to the address and he was on the porch of the home with a guy that looked to be in his late teens or early 20’s.  He was tall, skinny with dark hair; wearing jeans, a tan color jacket and a blue ball cap.  Casey was having a great time with him.  My baby is old, for a shih-tzu.  He is 12 now, with almost no vision left, not many teeth, a heart murmur; and a few extra pounds.  Little Casey had no idea that he was in a situation that could have been bad.  It turns out that Casey learned a new trick from the cat.  Kitty has taught him to jump through the hole in the screen door.  So Casey got out, and went on an adventure... alone!

When we go off into the world alone, without God; this is how He feels.  He longs for us to come home and He’s willing to do whatever it takes to get our attention to lead us back to Him.  He doesn’t want us getting into ugly situations alone.  If He’s not there, than we will end up in a situation where we will never get to go home again.  Just because we are having fun, feeling happy, do not know we are lost, or we do not see any danger; does not make it so.  Without God next to our side with each and every step of our lives we are not where we are supposed to be and we are in danger.  

Thankfully Casey did not go far.  He went only a few houses away.  I was thankful for that.  Later, I also found myself actually feeling thankful for the annual expense of a dog license!  It is good to see the system working.  There is no price too big for me to pay for the privilege of getting my doggie back.  

God feels the same way about us.  He paid the ultimate price of sacrificing His Son, Jesus, in order to save us.  There is no greater price or love than that.

When I took Casey home, I told him “No more adventures... at least until after Christmas!”  

---

~~Dear God ~~ Thank You for never giving up on me when I run away or get lost.  Please do not ever let me go on an adventure without You.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

---