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Little White Lies

~~ Romans 12:2 (NIV84)~~   Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.



by Carley Cooper

Cracker Jack & Casey
~~~~~~~~~
Cracker Jack: "I hate to tell you this, Bro,
but Mom loves me best. That package of
treats she brought home was for me."
Casey: "Mommyyyyy. *sniff, sniff*
Cracker said you don't love me anymore!".
~~~~~~~~~
Photo by Carley
No Mommy, I didn’t break that.  Billy did it!
You are beautiful, Baby.  That dress doesn’t make you look fat at all”.
Of course I know when our anniversary is Honey”.
I promise I will never, ever do that again!
Yes Baby, I did like it.  That was the best meal you ever cooked”.

Do you see a pattern in all those statements?  If not, read them again.  The common thread is that they are all untruths that so many of us have said in our lifetimes.  They are what most of us might call ‘little white lies’.  Every once in a while a situation pops up where we just do not want to hurt someone’s feelings, so we tell a tiny lie in an effort to avoid hurting someone we love.  Why does it matter anyway?  It is not like someone’s life will be altered one way or the other.  What she doesn’t know cannot hurt her.  Right?

The patterns of this world have us believing that lies can be categorized into various sub-groups such as: Good Lies, Bad Lies, and Really Bad Lies.  We have a longing to believe that as long as we are basically ‘good’ people, do not do ‘really bad’ things, treat everyone the same, and try not to hurt others than we are ‘safe’ with God.  Our attitudes are that certainly, people will ‘tick us off’; but it is better to feel a little out of sorts than to be like the ‘really bad people’ who push their anger to the limits and do something terrible like kill someone.  These beliefs feed into the next one which says ‘I didn’t commit a crime.  My lie, anger or hatred did not actually hurt anyone.  Killing... well, does!’

My very dear friend and mentor once told me that Satan will stand behind us and whisper lies in our ear; then he will stand in front of us pointing his finger and say ‘how dare you think such horrible thoughts’.  He does this in an effort to make us feel guilty, angry, unworthy, unloved, and an endless number of other negative emotions.  His goal is to make us vulnerable.  At a bible study last week, our leader (Pastor, Speaker and Author, Francine Gilchrist) told us that Satan can whisper something in your ear, and then something else into the ear of a friend; in an effort to create a rift in the relationship.  What greater helplessness is there; than damaging our most important relationships?!  It seems, in my life right now, God wants me to be extra aware of Satan’s deceptions.  I say this because the subject of the enemy’s deceptions came up a third time, a couple days ago, during another conversation; this time with my pastor.  He told me that the enemy whispers lies in our ear when we are vulnerable so that we will be more likely to believe them. 

There is an endless list of lies that the world lives by yet not realizing that indeed huge sins are being committed.  Our life in this world will be judged according to God’s laws.  Sin is sin.  The truth is that in God’s eyes, hatred is equivalent to murder.  1 John 3:15 (NIV84) says that “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.”  If you have ever hated anyone, than you have broken the commandment “You shall not murder” (Exodus 20:13 (NIV84)).  Lust means you have committed adultery in your heart (Matthew 5:28 (NIV84)).  Gossip, envy, slander, or boastfulness are all considered as evil as any other wrong doing.  (Romans 1:29-32 (NIV84)).  Why is it that we have a hard time believing that these things are actually as serious as any other sin?  Yet, when we read that rape is actually as bad as committing murder (Deuteronomy 22:25-26 (NIV84)), we often tend to agree.  Why do we believe there is a difference?  The reason is because of the deceptions that the enemy whispers in our ear.  No matter how small a lie is; it is a lie just the same.  It is a huge black mark on our souls.

As a Christian with Bipolar Disorder, I am also aware that it is when I am most vulnerable, or when the chemical imbalances are the most ‘out of whack’, that Satan whispers the biggest lies to me.  He picks my weakest moments and the worst of circumstances to tell me the biggest lies.  Fighting him in these times takes every bit of strength and focus I can muster up; and often the strength I have is no where near enough.  Pastor, also said that we have to consciously focus on faith.  The mind is a powerful thing.  With a lot of work, and a lot more faith; we can change our minds and build a strong defence against the fabrications of the enemy.  Keep our eye on Jesus, and God’s Word and we can fight the untruths about ‘good lies’ and ‘bad lies’.  It is by knowing what scripture tells us that we will have the tools that we need to fight (Hebrews 4:12(NIV84) ).  The renewing of our minds through Christ is what will transform us from the patterns of this world (Romans 12:2(NIV84) ).  Without this faith, I would not have the strength to keep fighting (Nehemiah 8:10, Psalm 46:1, Isaiah 40:28-31, Philippians 4:13 (all from NIV84)). 

I have often told people that I would rather hear a truth that hurt, than a lie that did not.  The truth is that ‘’little white lies’ is, in itself, a contradiction of terms; as they are not little, and they are not white.  I am a firm believer in “what she doesn’t know can, and likely will, hurt her a lot” and, when it does, it can hurt in many ways.  Little white lies do hurt... they hurt you, if you are the one saying it; and they hurt the other person because you have just placed a sin between you.  Not to mention the fact that the other person is continuing to build, based on a false foundation.  Your life is the life that will be altered... your eternal life.  The biggest truth of all though, is that we have hope because of Jesus; and with His strength, and the renewing of our minds daily we will have more energy and there will be no more lies controlling our lives.  God’s good, pleasing and perfect will, will be done.



~~ Dear God ~~ Thank You for the hope You have given us through Jesus.  Please continue to renew my mind daily with the Holy Spirit.  Send the angels that You have assigned to protect me, to fight the enemy with me and keep him from whispering lies in my ear.  Please help me remember each verse of scripture in the moment I need it as I fight the enemy and also to help spread the Good News about Jesus to others.  In Jesus name, AMEN.



35 comments :

  1. SUNNYARIZONAOctober 10, 2011

    A LIE IS A LIE IS A LIE.....for sure

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  2. Thank you SUNNYARIZONA for the feedback. Ha... it's so sad that more people don't see the truth and the light. Everything in God's timing. The Word says that every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. So one day, all will see! Hugs for you.

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  3. Hebrews 12:1-2 NASB
    1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
    Enjoyed your blog.

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  4. AMEN! and Thank you Ravyna.
    Hugs

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  5. Thank you again NDTEACHER1 for the loyal reading and the support. I very much appreciate it. HUGS.

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  6. SPARKINGINMASSOctober 10, 2011

    liked your blog :-)

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  7. Thank you so very much SPARKINGINMASS. I appreciate the comments of support. It helps keep me motivated to write. Hugs.

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  8. satin is the orginial liar . hugs to all of you who are getting help .

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  9. What if that lie is to protect some one innocent and you don't want to destroy them because if you tell them the truth it would destroy them emotionally and you know that they are not able to handle it because of their emotional state. That it is fragile to begin with.

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  10. There is a saying "The truth shall set you free" . This is true and I understand about not wanting to hurt people, however it is worse when they find out.

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  11. Hmmmm... I was all ready to say that it is a commandment not to lie; but I looked it up and it states "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Notice that it is qualified "against thy neighbor". Is a white lie possibly "not against" anyone?

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  12. DJ4HEALTH - I can't speak for others, but I know that I would prefer to hear the truth no matter how much it hurt. In a case where you are not sure, you need to pray about it. You will know it is God's answer if it agrees with His Word. If not, than it is not from God. As for the strength of others, if you pray about it, God will give that person strength. We are to lean on Him for everything. It is not our place to decide if someone is strong enough. I am living proof that people can handle way more than we expect they can when crunch time comes around. Have faith, and talk to God about everything... and then listen, very closely to His answer. Be ready to act on it, even if it disagrees with what you want. He wants us to have faith, and to obey. I hope that helps.

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  13. BBONET - Thanks for the comments. I hope you have a blessed week. Hugs.

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  14. FINFIN2 - The specific wording of the commandment depends on the translation you use. The point is there is no such thing as a white lie. A lie is not of God, so therefore it cannot be represented by white, which symbolizes purity. We have to follow God's Word. When in doubt study it and research the original Hebrew or Greek texts to see what it says, and it will help to understand the meaning behind what we read. There is software now-a-days that can help with that.

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  15. I think I've probably quoted this here before; I quote it often, and think it a lot: Abraham Lincoln once said 'When I do good, I feel good; and when I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion.'

    'Kindness' is my wellspring of morality. Is doing such-and-such kind, or will it result in harm of one sort or another? If I say thus-and-so, is my motivation kindness? or hurt?

    After that, I don't need to label or categorize. A lie, in its most basic form, is an untruth perpetrated for ill-gotten gains - stealing and cheating, of whatever type they may be.

    Courtesy and politeness are often in themselves 'lies,' but these untruths are only used in an effort to comfort, to be pleasant, to help someone, to instill warmth and cheer.

    I say 'How do you do?' when I meet someone. I may never have met them and don't genuinely care how they're 'doing'; nor do I expect chapter-and-verse of their latest aches and pains. But I know that couched in the standard phrase is a civil 'Hello! I'm pleased to meet you and perhaps get to know you better.'

    Is it a lie?

    When someone has died, whether I know the family well or not, I will offer my condolences and tell them I'm sorry for their loss... and I am, up to a point. But it's a societal tradition, to sympathize with someone bereaved. I don't generally have the emotional connection that these phrases of comfort may imply.

    Is it a lie?

    If a friend has bought a new suit and had her hair done in preparation for a job interview, and the day before models the outfit and asks 'What d'you think? How do I look?' - is she asking for a critique? Or is she seeking a bit of bolstering for her self-confidence in light of what can be a nerve-wracking situation?

    She's committed - the haircut is what it is, the suit has been paid for and tags were removed... Her appointment is at 10 AM the next day. There's no turning back. I say 'You look sensational! You'll knock 'em out, hon!'

    Is it a lie?

    My motivation isn't to see her blow the interview so *I* can get that job, or to keep her somehow unemployed! My motivation is to stoke her enthusiasm, her confidence, her self-assurance, so she feels and looks her best. My motivation is - kindness.

    So no, I don't categorize statements and responses and comments according to whether or not they may be lies of greater or lesser degrees. I try to look beyond that to find my own motivation, and to hone my instincts for reaching out to others and being as kind as possible.

    Every civilization, every religion, every society, has some version of The Golden Rule. If what we did unto others stemmed from the effort to be kind, the world would be a better place.
    IMHO
    Hug

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  16. KASEYCOFF - I'm so happy that I have given you something to think about. That would be one of my goals for writing. I just want people to think about what would get them closer to God. In the end, whether or not something is a lie, depends on the condition of your heart at the moment... and God knows what that condition is better than we do. Most of the little white lies, we probably won't even know about until judgement day. Till then I keep asking for forgiveness and hold faith. BIG HUGS. Thanks soooooo much for reading, and for the awesome feedback.

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  17. Hiyer, Carley! You would not believe how much thinking you set me up for with your 'white lies' blog, lol... I've been mulling it over all day. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to use it as the basis for my own blog tonight. I will include a link to your 'Worship Melodies' posting and give you full credit. I love getting other people's perspectives on different things - learning what others think not only helps us know them better, but (IMHO) it helps us learn more about ourselves. Your blog is brilliantly thought-provoking - which is exactly what a good blog should be, to my way of thinking: writing that makes us sit up, take notice, and start asking ourselves questions. And yours has given me tremendous food for thought today. So here's a little flame in recognition of the 'spark' you got me started on, lol...

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  18. KASEYCOFF - Thank you sooooo very much for the SparkGoodie, and thank you so much for the wonderful feedback on my blog. I don't mind at all if you use it; and I appreciate the credit. I need more followers. Your message came when I needed to hear it most. Sometimes, I'm not good at taking my own advice. That would be another distraction from the enemy. You have helped me thinking as well. Again, thank you so much. The support is what keeps me inspired to continue writing.

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  19. yes we are all guilty of this . white lies . at times we tell them to smooth the feelings of others . other times we say its for our self . but is it really for us ? bless the person that wants to stop telling little white lies . the devil is hard task master who wants to serve him . not i . I need to ask god for help ..

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  20. SUGARSMOM2 - Thanks for the feedback and the support. I so very much appreciate it. HUGS

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  21. SHOAPIE - Thanks for the support and the continued reading. It helps me so much to know I have readers that come back time after time. HUGS

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  22. FLPALM - Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it so much. Hugs.

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  23. Thank you

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  24. JRSMITH775 - Thank you for the comment. I appreciate your loyal reading and the support. Hugs.

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  25. RSSSLHB - Thank you for the comment. I appreciate your loyal reading and the support. Hugs.

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  26. How about this... Find truth before you speak.

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  27. FINFIN2 - Ha... that fits in with something I head the other day... "God gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak!". I like that one. Thanks for the input. Hugs.

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  28. Thank you for the discussion topic Carley! You have a gift in keeping us active!

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  29. Thank you so very much FINFIN2 for the wonderful compliment. Hugs.

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  30. Romans 1:29-32 -- 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

    It is because of this verse in Romans that I take to heart the message of why it is important that we, as God’s children, not murmur, grumble, gossip, and complain. Something we all-too-often allow into our lives much too readily. The culture seems to be very accepting on these qualities.

    From history, we learn that when we grumble and complain, we only end up spending more time in the wilderness. The 11-day journey out of Egypt lasted more like forty years because the people lost sight of their faithfulness: They murmured, grumbled, and complained. They even began to complain about the quality of the food (manna) God provided. Most of those who began the journey in this wilderness died.

    I agree with you about the important of telling the truth. It is one of the most integral parts of who we are and how others perceive us. We must also learn how to THINK the truth, as well . . . a Battlefield of the Mind that Joyce Meyer is well written in. And yes, the truth sometimes will hurt, but with the confidence we have in a God full of love, mercy, and grace, we’re crazy to even think about telling a white lie. I agree with you . . . it is not little, nor is it white.

    Out of the kindness Christ demands of us (Colossians 3:12), we need to learn how to “zip our lip” so to speak, if we feel moved to speak unwell of someone. We must let go of the hatred (or perhaps envy or jealousy) that brings such bad things to light. Paul’s wisdom in Ephesians 4:2, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

    A friend of mine asked that I not tag her by name on my Facebook page for personal and security reasons. I later learned that she wanted to tell her employer that she was not well and would not be into work that day, while my tag indicated she was already out of town and unable to join me in a particular function. Lies get us into such trouble and they become impossible to track after a while when I can imagine trying to recall what we told who.

    Your blog was wonderfully thought-provoking. Thank you, Carley!

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  31. Thank you Evelyn. Your feedback is precious and inspiring as always. Sounds like your friend needs some enlightenment and prayer. I will say a prayer for her. HUGS.

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