Showing posts with label Gossip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gossip. Show all posts

Did You Hear the Latest News?!

~~ Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) ~~  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.



Photo Credit: MS Office Copyright Free Images
by Carley Cooper 

Gossip!  It’s wrong.  It hurts people.  God said not to do it.  But, it’s so much fun to do!  Resisting it, for a lot of people, means a big spiritual struggle inside.  Some justify it by saying things such as:
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m networking
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m just telling my friend about this guy I know that...
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m just asking my friend to pray for my family member who...
  • I’m not gossiping, I’m just making an observation about a co-worker.
“How Could You Say Such a Thing?”
A friend, who runs his own business, wrote a status message online saying “When you make collections calls its uncanny how often people were just talking about their bill and realized it was overdue.”  It’s a simple observation about humanity in the circumstances of owing money.  No names were mentioned.  No financial situations were described.  No private or personal information about the company or the customers was brought up.  

The response that was given in the following comments was very negative, saying that the message was inappropriate for a public forum because it’s a private matter.  My heart went out to all of them.  I felt bad for the person who wrote the status, because he had to endure the feedback.  I felt even worse for the person who left negative comments because I realized that after a lifetime of knowing this person she hasn’t changed or grown in Christ in the least.  She has a long history of being very negative toward other people all the time. 

God Loves Positive Thinkers
To be honest my first thought was “Would it really kill her to say something nice for once?”  Then, my next instinct was to run and tell a mutual friend about it.  But, I resisted.  It was a very difficult 20 minutes, as I visited with my friend.  It took everything I had to ‘bite my tongue’.  But, I did resist because it’s not right to gossip, and because I didn’t want to stoop to the levels of the negative response.  Maybe I noticed this and my feelings were so deep because of how hard I worked myself for several years to change my own thinking patterns from negative to positive.  I tend to notice negativity more now. 

God Loves Those Who Help Others
There are many bible verses that tell us about gossip and slander, and how we should conduct ourselves.   Neither the gossip nor the negative talk is right with God.   He told us in Ephesians 4:29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Jesus is our example of how we should respond and interact with other people.  He never talked about others behind their backs. He certainly didn’t put anyone down.  He only built others up by teaching them.

I didn’t gossip about these people, when I certainly could have, and even wanted to.  I could have even injected myself into their conversation and told them exactly how I felt; but I didn’t.  I thought about God, and how He would want me to react.  The proper comeback to the status message, if the responding person felt so strongly about it would have been to send a private message; and even then she should have said things to help and build up, not tear down.  Her response to the message was more inappropriate than the status she was commenting on as being unsuitable. 

The next time you’re standing around the water cooler at work, and someone says “Did you hear the latest news?!”, how are you going to respond?  I think Thumper in the 1942 Walt Disney movie Bambi said it best “"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."

Let’s Pray
 ~~ Dear God ~~ Graceful, merciful, and loving Father; sometimes our mouths work faster than our brains can keep up.  We speak and act before we think.  We talk about others, without giving a second thought to how You would have us deal with a situation.  Thank You for being patient with me as I try to become more like Jesus.  Thank You for molding me to be like Him.  Please help me to always help others in how I act, think, and speak.  Help me, also, to keep my thinking positive so that I can reflect Jesus to those who need to see it the most.  In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

Now It’s Your Turn
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OK, So the Story Goes Like This...

~~ 1 Chronicles 16:8-12 (NIV1984) ~~  Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.  Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.  Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.  Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.  Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,



by Carley Cooper

Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images
Have you ever stopped long enough to look around and pay attention to how often you see it happening?  People are doing it in books, in the movies, at parties, at the office, on blogs, in the newspaper, magazines, on Facebook, Twitter, on the bus.  Some might even venture to say that you even see it on “reality TV”.  Of course, that last one depends on one’s definition of “reality”, but that’s another topic for another blog.  What am I talking about?  I’m talking about people telling their own stories.  They are true stories; talking about what happened at some point in the past in their lives.

Have you ever wondered why?  That is, why do people want so much to talk about their own lives; to relive and share the past?  It’s gone, over, done!  The credits have rolled and you can’t go back and change any scenes.  So, why talk about it so much?  Wouldn’t just accepting it and moving on from here make more sense?  Well, there are a list of reasons, and I’m sure this list is just a fraction of the complete list of reasons.  First, some people just feel the need to express themselves; whether it be pain, happiness, or just the need to clobber someone.  Others just like to talk about their favorite subject; ME!  Eh, well, not me, Carley; you know; themselves.  Others hope to gain something from sharing their story; fame, fortune, sex, material items, and the list goes on. 

From a Christian perspective does the picture change?  Does it become a different story?  Is it a good thing for Christians to be telling our stories?  After all; boasting, gossip and the like are sins.  James 4:16 (NIV1984) tells us "As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil".  We certainly don’t want to intentionally do that.  We also know that once we truly surrender all to God and allow Him to shape us, mold our hearts to be like that of Jesus, and to help the fruit of the Holy Spirit become who we are; then some awesome things will start happening in our lives.  Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV1984) "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."  Once your heart truly belongs to Jesus you will start to see some supernatural things happening in your life; and at a rate that you could never hope to write them all down or share every incident.  There will be just way too many.  Sometimes Christians are afraid to share their stories because of fear of judgement from others.  Other times, Christians are afraid to lay everything down at the foot of the cross.  Thoughts of fear fill their minds about not having any input or control over their own lives if God is in the driver’s seat.  I mean “what if He wants me to do stuff that I don’t want to do?”.  Well Worshiper’s; guess what?  That’s a given.  Even though you may not be able to see it now, He will insist on you stepping out of your comfort zone.  But, in the end you will be blessed and thankful for it. 

This kind of supernatural activity can only happen because of the sacrifice that Jesus made when He willingly died for us on the cross.  Once you let Him in to your heart and life, you are allowing Him to do His best miracles that He has in store for you.  Until then, you won’t see the miracles, blessings, or supernatural events.  The Word won’t be as clear in your mind.  2 Corinthians 3:16 (AMP) tells us “But whenever a person turns [in repentance] to the Lord, the veil is stripped off and taken away”. 

This event of Jesus dying for us is the single most amazing and wondrous thing that has ever happened in history; or ever will happen.  Nothing else even comes close.  For that matter, everything else combined still doesn’t come close.  The story of Jesus deserves to be told to every single person on earth.  God wants us to tell our stories because  it is evidence of His amazing love for us, and what He has done for us.  He wants our stories to be told and remembered.  Psalm 111:4 (ESV) says “He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and merciful.”.  It is our responsibility to tell our stories to others. 

So, is it scary sometimes?  Absolutely!  As a matter of fact we are even warned about who we share with.  Matthew 7:6 (NIV1984)Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs.  If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces".  I think “dogs” is a adjective to describe not only non-Christian’s, but also Christian’s who do not have a true relationship with Christ.  Those that don’t stop to pay attention, or have some fear of preventing them from allowing or believing in God’s miracles in our daily lives.  The best course of action, when in doubt, is to use your common sense and to listen very closely for God’s voice in your heart leading you.  We are meant to plant a seed.  If there can be any growing inside, it’s up to Jesus to do the watering.  We are not meant to stick around and put ourselves in a situation that could cause temptation, risk our salvation or our safety.

I have started writing a book about my life.  To be completely honest, it is very unnerving for me to be that open to the world; so that all is exposed.  Will I get judgement from others?  Absolutely.  I fully expect it.  It is also possible that there will be people that I love that will walk out of my life.  However, I know that He will be with me every step of the way.  Psalm23:4 (NIV84) says “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  My story shows how much God loves me.  He loves me enough to go through a lot of trouble to shape me and teach me.  He loves me enough to send His Son to die for me!  My story is just one small example that displays how awesome God can be for each one of us.  So I will tell it, and I won’t be ashamed.  Psalm119:46 (NIV1984) says “I will speak of your statutes before kings and will not be put to shame”.

Next time you hear someone telling their story, stop and listen... really listen for the true message.  There are as many different ways for you to tell your story as there are people that have stories to tell.  You could write book, a blog or a poem; make a video or go on TV, chat on social networking, make a photo journal, stand on the roof of the tallest building in town and shout, or simply alone with a friend who really needs to hear the lesson you have to teach.  How are you going to tell your story?  You really do have a story worth telling, and there are people waiting to hear it.



~~ Dear God ~~ Thank you the journey you have taken me on, and for giving me a story that shows Your awesome love and mercy.  Please help me tell my story in a way that will touch people’s hearts.  Open their eyes, ears and heart so that  they will see Your peace within me, say “I want what she has”.  Please protect me from the “dogs”, and surround me with people that will love me no matter what my story has to say.  In Jesus name, AMEN.



Little White Lies

~~ Romans 12:2 (NIV84)~~   Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.



by Carley Cooper

Cracker Jack & Casey
~~~~~~~~~
Cracker Jack: "I hate to tell you this, Bro,
but Mom loves me best. That package of
treats she brought home was for me."
Casey: "Mommyyyyy. *sniff, sniff*
Cracker said you don't love me anymore!".
~~~~~~~~~
Photo by Carley
No Mommy, I didn’t break that.  Billy did it!
You are beautiful, Baby.  That dress doesn’t make you look fat at all”.
Of course I know when our anniversary is Honey”.
I promise I will never, ever do that again!
Yes Baby, I did like it.  That was the best meal you ever cooked”.

Do you see a pattern in all those statements?  If not, read them again.  The common thread is that they are all untruths that so many of us have said in our lifetimes.  They are what most of us might call ‘little white lies’.  Every once in a while a situation pops up where we just do not want to hurt someone’s feelings, so we tell a tiny lie in an effort to avoid hurting someone we love.  Why does it matter anyway?  It is not like someone’s life will be altered one way or the other.  What she doesn’t know cannot hurt her.  Right?

The patterns of this world have us believing that lies can be categorized into various sub-groups such as: Good Lies, Bad Lies, and Really Bad Lies.  We have a longing to believe that as long as we are basically ‘good’ people, do not do ‘really bad’ things, treat everyone the same, and try not to hurt others than we are ‘safe’ with God.  Our attitudes are that certainly, people will ‘tick us off’; but it is better to feel a little out of sorts than to be like the ‘really bad people’ who push their anger to the limits and do something terrible like kill someone.  These beliefs feed into the next one which says ‘I didn’t commit a crime.  My lie, anger or hatred did not actually hurt anyone.  Killing... well, does!’

My very dear friend and mentor once told me that Satan will stand behind us and whisper lies in our ear; then he will stand in front of us pointing his finger and say ‘how dare you think such horrible thoughts’.  He does this in an effort to make us feel guilty, angry, unworthy, unloved, and an endless number of other negative emotions.  His goal is to make us vulnerable.  At a bible study last week, our leader (Pastor, Speaker and Author, Francine Gilchrist) told us that Satan can whisper something in your ear, and then something else into the ear of a friend; in an effort to create a rift in the relationship.  What greater helplessness is there; than damaging our most important relationships?!  It seems, in my life right now, God wants me to be extra aware of Satan’s deceptions.  I say this because the subject of the enemy’s deceptions came up a third time, a couple days ago, during another conversation; this time with my pastor.  He told me that the enemy whispers lies in our ear when we are vulnerable so that we will be more likely to believe them. 

There is an endless list of lies that the world lives by yet not realizing that indeed huge sins are being committed.  Our life in this world will be judged according to God’s laws.  Sin is sin.  The truth is that in God’s eyes, hatred is equivalent to murder.  1 John 3:15 (NIV84) says that “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.”  If you have ever hated anyone, than you have broken the commandment “You shall not murder” (Exodus 20:13 (NIV84)).  Lust means you have committed adultery in your heart (Matthew 5:28 (NIV84)).  Gossip, envy, slander, or boastfulness are all considered as evil as any other wrong doing.  (Romans 1:29-32 (NIV84)).  Why is it that we have a hard time believing that these things are actually as serious as any other sin?  Yet, when we read that rape is actually as bad as committing murder (Deuteronomy 22:25-26 (NIV84)), we often tend to agree.  Why do we believe there is a difference?  The reason is because of the deceptions that the enemy whispers in our ear.  No matter how small a lie is; it is a lie just the same.  It is a huge black mark on our souls.

As a Christian with Bipolar Disorder, I am also aware that it is when I am most vulnerable, or when the chemical imbalances are the most ‘out of whack’, that Satan whispers the biggest lies to me.  He picks my weakest moments and the worst of circumstances to tell me the biggest lies.  Fighting him in these times takes every bit of strength and focus I can muster up; and often the strength I have is no where near enough.  Pastor, also said that we have to consciously focus on faith.  The mind is a powerful thing.  With a lot of work, and a lot more faith; we can change our minds and build a strong defence against the fabrications of the enemy.  Keep our eye on Jesus, and God’s Word and we can fight the untruths about ‘good lies’ and ‘bad lies’.  It is by knowing what scripture tells us that we will have the tools that we need to fight (Hebrews 4:12(NIV84) ).  The renewing of our minds through Christ is what will transform us from the patterns of this world (Romans 12:2(NIV84) ).  Without this faith, I would not have the strength to keep fighting (Nehemiah 8:10, Psalm 46:1, Isaiah 40:28-31, Philippians 4:13 (all from NIV84)). 

I have often told people that I would rather hear a truth that hurt, than a lie that did not.  The truth is that ‘’little white lies’ is, in itself, a contradiction of terms; as they are not little, and they are not white.  I am a firm believer in “what she doesn’t know can, and likely will, hurt her a lot” and, when it does, it can hurt in many ways.  Little white lies do hurt... they hurt you, if you are the one saying it; and they hurt the other person because you have just placed a sin between you.  Not to mention the fact that the other person is continuing to build, based on a false foundation.  Your life is the life that will be altered... your eternal life.  The biggest truth of all though, is that we have hope because of Jesus; and with His strength, and the renewing of our minds daily we will have more energy and there will be no more lies controlling our lives.  God’s good, pleasing and perfect will, will be done.



~~ Dear God ~~ Thank You for the hope You have given us through Jesus.  Please continue to renew my mind daily with the Holy Spirit.  Send the angels that You have assigned to protect me, to fight the enemy with me and keep him from whispering lies in my ear.  Please help me remember each verse of scripture in the moment I need it as I fight the enemy and also to help spread the Good News about Jesus to others.  In Jesus name, AMEN.