Learn to Read Your Stars

~~ Isaiah 40:26 (NIV84) ~~  Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?  He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.  Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

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by Carley Cooper

Picture: Babak Tafreshi / Barcroft Media

When life is gets hard it can feel like you are swallowed up by darkness.  No matter how hard you try, you just can’t see your hand in front of your face.  How are you supposed to know what to do, which way to go, how to handle things?  You’ve felt your way around in the dark, and you can’t locate a light anywhere. 

You know those times.  I know you do.  Me too.

On top of that everyone brushes you off like you’re just a pesky firefly saying things like “You’re cute to look at, but don’t come  near me, Bug.  I don’t want you biting or bothering me.” 

My Bipolar Disorder (BPD) is on a whirlwind roller coaster in the last couple weeks.  I’m having problems making enough time to do the writing, research, and study that I need to do; so my workload is feeling too big.  (Taking on too much is a typical BPD feature, in itself).  The topics that I’m currently writing about in my manuscript are bringing up issues that I thought were dead and buried.  An hurtful situation with a friend, that happened in February, is still not cleared up.  I’m feeling very alone and disoriented.   

“When it’s dark enough you can see the stars”  

I saw that quote, by an unknown author, float by on my Facebook Newsfeed.  I realized this darkness that I am caught in has some bright points, created from the things I am learning as a result. 

• The workload is forcing me to really prioritize my “To Do” list. 
• My current research and writing material is about abuse and mental health issues.  It means reliving bad memories; and learning more than I ever knew there was to learn.  My life and my health problems, from the time I was a child, is a whole new picture.  Pieces are falling into place and making sense like never before. 
• Abuse situations that I thought were over are still affecting me.  There was a meeting with my friend, who is in an authoritative position, two of his associates; and me.  I am thankful that they were trying to help me, but it caused a breakdown.  My doctor says I had a very typical reaction.  She said that if I had mentioned it, I would have been advised not to go.  She called it “Classic Transference” from an abuse survivor.  Apparently authority figures cause fear in me now.  I suddenly understood why I purposely chose the chair closest to the door just in case I needed a quick escape.  This same fear is why the situation has stalled for me.  His control, and lack of opportunity for me to tell my side of the story, has resurrected upsetting emotions.  I understand my feelings now, and that it is not my fault. 
• All this is made even bigger because of BPD.  There are medical reasons why I over react to situations.  Turns out, I really can’t help it!  Being aware of these facts doesn't minimize the size of my experience, but I understand it better.
• Why I see myself as alone is connected to Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD); a lifelong problem.  Doc said that I never learned community.  Again, it is worsened by the Bipolar Disorder because it is typical to have problems keeping relationships together.  So not only did I not learn how to do it, another force keeps me from getting there.  

Dawn will Arrive

No matter how dark it is where you are right now.  You can look up, and see the stars.  They are there, even if you are having a difficult time seeing them.  Some of my stars don’t look really bright at the moment, but I know that God never leaves us alone in the dark.  There is not one of our problems that He doesn’t know about.  He had the solutions all worked out and set in place before we ever knew there was a problem.  He put all those stars in the dark sky so that we could see how pretty they are; so we could be reminded that once the night is over, dawn breaks. 

Let's Pray

~~ Dear God ~~  Help me to always look for the stars in my dark sky, and never let me forget that dawn will happen very soon.  Thank You for always being there, for always turning my sorrows into stars.  Mostly thank You for the brightest Star of all; Your Son, Jesus who is leading us to blessings that come with the morning light, and to You.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

Now It's Your Turn
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One of These Things is Not Like the Others

~~ 1 Corinthians 12:27 (AMP) ~~  Now you [collectively] are Christ's body and [individually] you are members of it, each part severally and distinct [each with his own place and function].

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by Carley Cooper

Free Source Photo - No Copyrights Claimed by WM

There’s an old children’s song called “One of these things...”.  It was a Sesame Street favorite.  It goes “One of these things is not like the others.  One of these things doesn’t belong.  Can you tell which thing is not like the others? ”.  Everyone knows what it feels like to be the ‘odd ball’.  Each one of us is unique, most certainly, but more than that, everyone has been singled out as the different one at some point.  Some more than others.  Maybe you were the one person that neither team wanted.  The one who never got asked out on a date, or maybe you were laughed at or bullied.  I can relate to that.  They singled me out because I was painfully shy, tall and super skinny.

No one has ever accused me of being normal or being like everyone else.  I have two parents, two younger brothers, and I grew up in a house.  The similarities to anyone else, the ‘typical’ person’s life, or the character of others ends there.  When I was growing up being different this was the cross that I carried.  It was an overwhelmingly heavy load that I carried constantly.  All I wanted was to be accepted into a group; to be like them... validated, wanted and loved. 

Later in life I learned an important lesson.  That is, being unique can be a good thing.  This realization was huge for me.  Never before had I seen this concept or was I encouraged to ‘go with it’ and be myself.  Now, I embrace it.  OK, so that’s not 100% true.  Actually, I’m guessing that about 75% of me does.  The other part still longs to know what it would feel like to be like everyone else; to have what they have.  Things such as a spouse, children, a home of my own, someone to come home to, friends that they’ve bonded with at a deep level, the freedom to go anywhere they want at any time, the necessary skills to socialize and connect.  I have learned that I like being uniquely me.  To be like everyone else would make me just a cookie cutter stamp out.  I certainly wouldn’t want that. 

There’s so much that makes me unique that I have come to like very much.  I like my sense of humor.  I enjoy the freedom I have that allows me to express myself in my writing and in the way I dress; knowing that it’s nice but not boring, classy yet often sexy, usually a little dressy but with a free spirit.  I like it that I go to church and take my shoes off and leave then off, even when I go up to the prayer rail.  Hmmmm, I wonder if they’d consider handing out slippers at the door?!  Nah, never mind; I hate slippers.  Oh yeah; I also like it that my BFFs are guys.  I even like my quirks about not wanting to wash tea pots, and the fact that I hold a broom in an odd way when I’m sweeping (or so I’m told).  I like it that no one else in the whole world has the skills to be Carley as well as I can.  I’m not a really big believer in ‘you can’t know what it feels like until you’ve lived it’.  Unless I’m brain dead, I have an imagination and my emotions are very much connected to it.  That being said, I could never relate to people, for example, who want to change their hair or various body parts to look like a certain celebrity.  Why would I want Jennifer Aniston’s hair when I could have mine; even with the frustrations of having dry hair?!  Or why would I want implants to give me Jennifer Lopez’s butt when mine is better for me.  I’m not a big believer that bigger butt’s are sexier.  I just don’t see it.  Even when I was very overweight, I didn’t have a big one; and I like my butt the way it is!  I can honestly say that I don’t want to be anyone else, but me. 

However, there are things about me that I would still like to fix.  The problem is that I want to fix me according to my own definition of ‘fixed’.  I have a wish list as long as my arm for many things that range from body image to being more outgoing.  I wish I was thinner.   I wish I had a flat belly.  I wish I had bigger boobs (but implants are not gonna happen!).  I wish I was shorter.  I wish I had more ‘nerve’, spunk, and a freer spirit.  I wish the world could see the me that I see on the inside; the one who has never been let out because I don’t know how to let her out.    

Reality is a little different though.  The facts are that God wants to change me according to His perfect plan for me.  God wants me to be like Jesus.  The truth is that I have always been an outsider.  Not by choice; or so I believe, but a loner just the same.  I don’t know how to be the center in a ring of friends.  Maybe if I got to live on the ‘normal’ side of the fence I’d rather be where I am.  And the whole broom thing; personally, I say if it gets the job done, who cares how I hold it?!  Normal?!  What’s normal anyway?  By whose definition?     

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~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for helping me through my abnormal-ness.  Thank You for making me unique.  Please help me to be the absolute best me that I can be.  Help me to embrace being me just as I am, and to forgive myself for my inadequacies.  Help me to let go of those people, situations, and circumstances that I cannot change.  Guide me to become more and more like Jesus every day.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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This video should bring back memories for many of you! 

Sesame Street - One Of These Things - Letters and numbers

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God: “You’re Gonna Do What?! LOL”

~~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV84)~~   “...For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ...”

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by Carley Cooper

"...and you thought that plan would work?!"

Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images

OK, so here is the plan for my life.  Please, pay close attention to this people because we are going to hit the ground running.  Nothing or no one is going to get in my way.  First, I am getting married to a wonderful man.  He will be tall, dark and super sexy.  He will have a wonderful sense of humor, and a great job earning a very good salary.  He will be my best friend and a fantastic lover.  He will have all his own teeth and hair; and worship my body and the ground I walk on.  We will spend our first few years traveling the world together.  Then we will have 4 kids; and they will be 2 boys and 2 girls, since every girl should have a sister as a BFF and every boy should have a brother for the same.  Since, pets are one of childhood’s greatest pleasures; our family will be complete with the addition of a dog, a hamster, and a couple of parakeets.  Every child should have a dog.  Finally, the last step is a great career that will be the ultimate in fulfillment.  It will be so enjoyable that it will not even feel like work.  Once these things are all done... and in that order, then we will be able to live a very healthy no-one-ever-gets-sick, happily ever after life.  Sounds like an awesome plan, if I do say so myself!  Does any of it ring a bell with you?  Sound even a little bit familiar?   

Well, here we are many years later (but wait...not too many.  I’m not that old.  LOL) and it seems that somewhere along the line when I turned my head for a minute my plan ran into a glitch.  Somewhere in the building of my life, the blue prints seem to have been misplaced and forgotten.  Things have not turned out like I had hoped.  Not even close!  So what really happened?  Well, it took me years longer than I planned to meet someone and get married.  Only for it to be short lived, and ended up with a divorce hearing on my 30^th birthday.  That certainly was not my idea or my choice, but I had to go along with it... both the divorce and the hearing date.  The babies did not have the opportunity to be born due to medical issues, failed attempts, and ever-off timing. 

Oh, and that wonderful career?  Well, that was a big stumbling block because I had no idea whatsoever what I wanted to do.  I did not go to university because no one told me that you could go before having every detail of your life planned out in advance.  I seriously thought I was the only one, and I was embarrassed by that so I told no one.  I turned down two acceptance letters to college because of this.  I was under the impression that if you were to going to school, you knew from day one why you were going and what the course plan was.  No one told me that you could go and figure out the details later.  Then, as time went on I always felt that I was too old, and it was too expensive.  Instead I chose a small community college that provided me with a diploma for skills that were already out of date when I completed the program.

Another unexpected and unplanned spark that burned all my life plans turned out to be health issues, which took over my life with a life of its own.  Then, the final fuel to the fire was that I ended up in some abusive relationships.  That certainly was not in my original plan either.

So where does my life sit today?  Well, I have survived a long string of traumas.  They are too much to go into here.  I intend on writing a book about it.  Wow!  Me, writing a book?!  I am told all the time that I have some natural talent for writing.  I take it as a wonderful compliment, but who would have ever thought?!  English-Lit was my worst subject in high school.  I have also been invited, recently, to be a guest speaker next year at a women’s retreat.  Me, a guest speaker?!  I am social-phobic, yet I am excited about this!  Hmmmm... isn’t that a contradiction?!  Anyway, I am being told that it is time for me to start sharing my story to inspire others.  Again, me an inspiration?!  If it wasn’t for the fact that these things are such a surprise to me, I would laugh at them!

I have been told quite a few times in recent weeks that I have affected people, in a positive way.  Along the route that my life has actually taken, I picked up a lot of knowledge and experience that can help people improve their lives by healthy eating.  I have another, smaller book, project that I am working on about healthy living.  It’s more of a booklet or a paper actually.  However, I have several people that are already interested in reading it, including a couple of people who work at the local hospital in the mental health department where they hope to share it with patients.  They are amazed at how I have improved my life and health through the discoveries that I have made by finding and changing patterns, and changing my diet.  There have been a few people who have told me that they are also noticing patterns now and changing things that are helping them improve their health and life, because of what I have told them about myself. 

I have another friend who is chasing a dream of opening a Christian Cafe / Karaoke Bar here in Barrie, Ontario because of encouragement that I gave her to never give up.  I never would have thought, on my own, to even consider that I could have such an impact on other people.  I feel such humility, and so very blessed by this.

I have no idea what the future holds for me.  Will I ever be a wife?  A mother?  A career woman?  An entrepreneur?  Only time will tell.  I never would have thought, or would have wanted; to plan such things as being a writer, or a guest speaker, or someone to provide health advice to others.  But these things are on my plate right now as very real possibilities. 

So many times in life we say things like “If only we had more money, we could buy that item we need so much”, and then we pray for it.  We never once stop to consider asking God what His plans are for our lives.  Whether we realize it or not, God is the one in control of our lives.  We either go along with His plan letting the Holy Spirit lead the way to happiness, and a future brighter than anything we could have ever come up with; or we try our own path and run into trials, troubles and problems.  Granted I know, and agree with, the thoughts that you are probably having right now that this can be easier said than done.  It is in our nature to want o be in control of our own lives.  Sometimes, I actually look up to God and ask Him “God, surely You can’t be serious about this?  So, I guess You think this is funny don’t you?!”  The truth is that my original plan would have led me to be a child of the world, and not of God.  My original plan did not include Jesus as a member of my family, let alone to take His rightful position as Head of my family!  My happiness would have been completely dependent on the world falling into place in a way that I needed it to.  Thinking about that now, really is funny!  How often does that happen?  My original plan was completely self-focused.  It did not include helping others in any way.  If I had followed my own plan, I would not have an impact on other people; and more importantly, I would not have a relationship with Jesus right now.  Neither, true happiness or my salvation would be possible.  It seems that old saying is true, “if you wanna make God laugh, just tell Him your plans”.

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~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You, that long before I was ever born, You had my life planned out for me.  Thank You for not letting me follow my own plan.  I am so very blessed to have gone through the trials and traumas that I have because they have brought me into a relationship with Jesus; and as such I will get to spend eternity with Him.  My future has never looked brighter.  Please continue to use me to bless others; and to let the Holy Spirit lead me, and mould my life.  I am anxiously waiting to see what wonderful blessings you have in store for me next.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

~~ Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) ~~   I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

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Carla - Age 18 - St. John's, Newfoundland

Have you ever wished you could go back and do things over again?  I do not think I know anyone who has not said at least once in their lives “If I could go back and do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I would do it so differently”.  Maybe just to give yourself some advice would help so very much.  The idea of writing your younger self a letter is hardly a unique one.  I have read letters written by others to themselves and found them to be incredibly interesting, so I thought I would write one for myself.  The process of gathering information and bits of advice; and forming them into this letter, was a lengthy one.  It turns out, though, that this course has been as enlightening to me in the present day, as it would have been to my younger self, but for different reasons.  It seems that I have come through a lot of trials and trauma in my life.  I am a survivor.  I have grown to be a person that is incredibly strong, and I have enough experience to give some very good and practical advice to someone younger.  Most of all, I can see that I have grown, and am still growing, into a woman that I can be proud of. 

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Dear Carley,

Well, you are 18 now... legally an adult just starting your life.  I want to give you some advice to prepare you for the life you are about to embark on.  I know what your first thought is... “Who’s Carley?”  Carley is you... me... us!  It is what most people call you now.  It started as a pet name with just a slight change from Carla, and it stuck.  I let it happen because I like it, and I was on a journey to find and heal myself.  I need to create the me that I always knew was inside somewhere longing to get out.  She is the me in our dreams that few others have seen, and she got lost somewhere along the path tangled in the midst of a lot of pain.  I felt that God gave me the new name to go with the new me.  She is you, and one day she will be me again, only better than before.  The journey we are on did not have to be as difficult as it has been, though I am learning to be thankful for it. 

First; know that It is not only OK to be different, but it is cool.  I know that you cannot begin to wrap your brain around that concept right now, but one day you will see that people who are all the same are not original.  Being different makes you special... really!  Let go of all the bad memories from school when the kids laughed at you, made fun of you, and said nasty things.  They had their own hurt inside that they did not know how to deal with, and they took it out on you.  This applies to anyone throughout your life who says mean things to you; and there will be others.  It is not about you.  Let go of the pain before the nightmares start and you need therapy to get rid of them.  It is important to set boundaries for yourself; which you can do without being mean.  Also, keep in mind that others cannot see things from your point of view.  No matter what you say to others, they will not learn what ever lesson you are trying to teach them.  It takes your experiences to create your point of view.  Only you can ever have it.

When you get that letter from MUN, do not turn it down.  You will regret it for the rest of your life.  You do not need to know the whole plan for your life or what your major is before you start university.  Many, if not most, believe it or not, do not know what they want to do even after they start college.  You are not the only one who does not know.  It will help you find yourself, and help you figure out what your dreams are.  Dream big... do not limit yourself.  There are people there who will help you.  Do not focus all your attention on the one dream of becoming a Mother.  It is the equivalent of chasing your own tail.  Put it on the back burner.  Some of your dreams will not come to pass in the format you hope for; and if you continue to push away all other ideas, your life will one day be derailed.  Go to school.  Choose something that will allow you to express your creativity.  We love Interior Design (not Interior Decorating... turns out there is a difference); and toss in some business courses.  Also you will grow to love writing.  No matter what you do in life, business and writing will be useful.  On the side, do some photography courses.  It is so much fun!  Do not delay dreams like sky diving, underwater diving; or taking lessons in music, singing or dancing.  One day you will feel like it is too late.  Oh, and correspondence programs are not the same.  Do not settle for this.

Next, some things that I wish someone would have told me:

• Now that you have your license, get a car!  Do not put it off. 
• Travel.  Go anywhere and everywhere.  The world is not as scary as you think it is.  I know that going to St. John’s at first was overwhelming and terrifying; but it does not have to be.  Travelling is an adventure.  Enjoy it.
• Read more - for at least 30 minutes each day. 
• Eat right!  Educate yourself on how to achieve and maintain a healthy body.  Stay away from junk food, non-fat or low-fat anything (they are not as wonderful as the media will make you think they are).  Avoid anything made with white flour, or anything that says ‘enriched’.  Above all else avoid artificial sweeteners and processed foods.  If it comes in a box or a bag, chances are you do not want it.  Do your shopping in the produce and meat departments.  Buy only whole-grain breads and such items... not whole-wheat!  They are very important for good health.  Always go organic when you can.  Grab any opportunity to buy farm fresh unprocessed milk products.  Store-bought dairy are filled with chemicals, preservatives, hormones, and antibiotics; all of which are dangerous, and will affect your health!
• Exercise.  Every day!  Working out does not mean sports!  Go swimming, ride your bike; but you will find that power-walking is something you will fall in love with.  Hold on to it.  Oh, and do sit-ups daily, without fail.
• Wear a good support bra.  Go to a good lingerie store and get yourself properly fitted for one.  You are not wearing the correct size.  Do not even bother to look at the price tag.  Whatever it says, it is worth it!
• Do not mix money with friendship or family.  The two just do not mix well so do not even try.
• When the time comes and you find yourself watching a lot of TV, turn it off!  It is a nasty habit that was very hard for me to break; but now that I have I am so very thankful!
• Cut up the credit cards.
• Do not start taking antidepressants.  You have a right to say no.  Also, do not let them keep doing surgeries because of your ovaries.  There are other options.  Do not trust the advice of every doctor you see.  Read, research and know your rights before accepting care from a doctor.  Not all doctors know what they are talking about, even when they sound like they do.
• When Mom and Dad ask you to move to leave Newfoundland and go to Ontario with them; do not fight it.  It will be one of the best decisions you will ever make.  There is the most amazing world out there that you never imagined was there!
• Do not put Dad on a pedestal.  The view is not a realistic one.  You will never stop being Daddy’s little girl.
• Do not let Daphne and John, Charlene or Charlyse drift out of your life.  You will need them one day, and if you do not stay in touch you will have no one to turn to.  Life is lonely without friends.
• When, Graham comes along, know that you will be a best friends forever.  Do not let anyone tell you that having a guy for a best friend is wrong.  You will share a special friendship that so many do not get in their lifetime.  One day when an argument gets out of hand, do not let him walk out the door without making up first.  Ten years without him was much too long to wait to see my best friend.
• Shadow belongs with you.  Do not let him go.
• Roommates – you will have quite a few.  One named Lawrence is bad news!  Do not go there.
• Learn to enjoy being alone.  I know that is a concept that seems contradictory to you right now.  Loneliness is painful; but it can also be a wonderful time of solitude.  Learn to embrace that or it can eat you alive.

About men - do not believe everything that some sweet talking guy whispers to you... no matter how cute he is.  The boyfriend you have right now is not as loyal as you believe him to be.  Let that relationship go and move on.  I know it is very hard sometimes to tell the difference between lust and love, but they are worlds apart.  When you are young and know you are in love... you are not.  Real love will come along when you are truly ready for it and there will be no doubt.  Do not be so willing to give yourself to a man.  It will not make him love you.  In your twenties you will get an overwhelming amount of attention from men; especially on the beach and in bars, but beware, they are not chasing your heart.  Before you get married, make sure he loves you as much as you love him.  If there is any doubt, then getting married is the wrong thing to do.  Stop worrying about the clock.  There is no rulebook that says it has to happen by a certain age.  It is better to wait than to end up in divorce court on your 30^th birthday.  Finally, do not ever, ever, ever, let any man abuse you physically, mentally, emotionally or financially.  Do not give them power over you by falling for the guilt trips.  Be strong.

Paul deserves a special mention.  When he comes along, just know that his ego is just a facade to hide his big heart, but unlike most you will see through it immediately.  He will break your heart more than you ever imagined possible, but do not let that stop you.  You will share a bond that very few other couples in the world ever get to share; seriously!  You will even have people commenting on it on a regular basis.  Despite the heartbreak, the love is worth it.

Partying - drinking yourself stupid will not impress the kind of man you want in your life.  Partying is fun, but you need to keep it in perspective.  One day when Graham ties you to a chair and screams at you, listen to his message.  Do not fight it.  It will change the path your life is on.  Too much booze will bring you a lot of trouble and heartache.

Of all the lessons that you will learn, of all the advice that you can get from me or others; the most important thing and the most important decision that you will ever make is to invite Jesus to live in your heart.  Do it now!  Do not put it off.  Please look to God for all you need.  God wants you to have a relationship with Him.  Yes... a relationship with God!  I know that does not make any sense to you now, but once you open your heart, truly, to Jesus, you will begin to understand.  It will change your life.  Even the world around you will start to look different... more alive somehow.  God loves you!  Being a Christian is not limiting.  In fact, it is freedom.  It’s awesome!

Once Jesus is the focus of your life you will learn many things, understand things with much more clarity and get many blessings.  One of the greatest will be the gift of forgiveness.  However, first you have to understand that it is something you do for yourself, not for others.  This does not mean that you are telling them that what they did to you was OK; but truly forgiving opens up a whole world of new possibilities.  Always choose caring over uncaring, giving over passing by, give the benefit of the doubt over criticism or gossip or judging.  Do not lose faith in people.  They will hurt you, but they also are hurting; it is not about you.  Measure any kind of frustrations from others or indecisions by this standard... “Will this alter my life in 5 years from now... or even 1 year from now?”  If the answer is ‘no’ then do not give it another thought.  It is not important.

Keep smiling.  You are beautiful.  Please do not start hurting yourself because you think you deserve it for not being pretty.  You are wrong.  One day you will see that a lot of people will be telling you that, and they will mean it.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I am a child of God.  I am beautiful.”  Then, believe it!  Every time you hurt yourself, or belittle yourself, it hurts God.  Do not let go of that bubbly personality that so many keep telling you is why they fell in love with you.  If you hide her inside, one day you will not know how to let her out again.  Life can get very lonely after that.

Do not ever quit!  Hold on to your dreams.  Follow your heart and do not be influenced by others; not even Mom and Dad.  You have to live in your body and live your life.  Do not ever hurt anyone to get there, but you have to make yourself happy first.  Learn to push yourself... hard!  You will come to treasure that about yourself.  Do not let anyone tell you that Prince Charming does not exist, or that any of your dreams is not realistic.  Anything is reasonable if you work hard and let God lead the way.  Do not let anyone talk you into limiting yourself like that.

So, my wonderfully innocent and naive young self, if you take nothing else from this message, just remember these things... first, that person who was hurting you before is the bad person.   It is not your fault.  Repeat after me “it is not my fault”.  You did nothing wrong.  Next, invite Jesus to be the center of your world, and learn to dance in the rain; because the rest will take care of itself in God’s wonderful timing.

Love always, 

Me

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 ~~ Dear God ~~    I know that I cannot go back and change my life.  I also know that no matter what plan I may have, what advice I may be given; that the plan You have already prepared for my life is the perfect path.  Despite all the bad decisions, wrong turns, disobedience, and sin that have caused so much pain and trauma; I know that You are leading me on my journey.  Thank You, Father for this journey.  Please teach me with each and every step all the lessons that I need to know to get closer to You.  Open my eyes and ears; along with my mind and my heart to be anxious, willing and able to receive the Holy Spirit.  Make me a disciple for Jesus that will make You proud.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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