Showing posts with label Becoming a Christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Becoming a Christian. Show all posts

Why Do We Limit Ourselves?

~~ Ephesians 2:8 (TNIV) ~~  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—



by Carley Cooper

Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images
I was watching a movie with a friend the other day.   Or rather, we started watching a movie.  We didn’t finish watching it because the movie triggered a very interesting exchange about our Christian beliefs.  I don’t really know if I should call it a conversation, or a discussion, or an argument; or a combination of all the above.  In the end, the movie got lost and forgotten in our lengthy debate.  Which was just as well, it was one of those that attempt to prove the bible false and incorrect.  I want so badly to witness for Christ when I have the opportunity, but the truth is when it comes to witnessing, I still feel like I’m a new amateur circulating among a bunch of well-seasoned 'professional Christians'.  Sometimes I feel so out of my league it just isn’t funny.  I wished, on this day, that I had some of my ‘professional’ Christian friends there with me for help. 

I don’t normally respond with any kind of verbal reaction to anything that I’m watching on a screen, simply because I don’t usually see what purpose it serves to yell at a screen.  It reminds me a little bit like sneezing.  I know what you’re thinking... ‘huh?!’.  Well, I don’t yell when I sneeze like many people do.  When I sneeze its generally pretty quiet, because screaming at the same time doesn’t accomplish anything other than extra noise.  It also reminds me of when I’m with my brother when he’s driving.  He yells at the other drivers.  He doesn’t open the window so they can hear him, but he yells anyway.  The whole concept behind that logic completely escapes me.  If they can’t hear him, then why talk to them?  Anyway, back to the movie... the comment “I don’t understand God” by one of the characters suddenly had me doing something that was totally out of character for me.  But this time, I couldn’t help it.  I rather surprised myself actually.  I responded, out loud, with “Well, Duh; if you could understand Him then He wouldn’t be God.  You would be able to fit Him into your version of some box, and He wouldn’t be the ultimate creator who is the beginning and the end of everything.” 

The comment led my friend to ask me some questions about what I believed about God, the Bible and God’s children.  He wanted to know if I believed that all people are God’s children.  I also told him that everyone is born with a basic knowledge in their hearts of a creator and the freewill to choose Him, or not.  If you choose not, then you’ve chosen not to be God’s child.  God’s children are those that have invited Jesus into their hearts to be their Lord and Saviour; which also means you are willing to leave the old lifestyle behind and allow Him to change your heart and your life.  If you have rejected God, then you’re not His child.  You made your choice.  My friend was overwhelmingly offended over this statement.  He said that he believes that Jesus died to forgive us for our sins, and that everyone can be forgiven; all it takes is to believe that Jesus died for our sins.   

Part of our discussion was on the fact that choosing a Christian lifestyle means you are willingly choosing a very difficult lifestyle because God will test you, He will insist on pushing you outside your comfort zone, and Satan will tempt you with your weakest issues and biggest struggles.  The enemy isn't about to let you go without a fight.  My friend argued with this as well.  He wondered; if God knows everything then why should we have to prove ourselves to Him?  I tried to explain to him that God is testing us so that we can learn how strong we are in our own faith, endurance, patience, etc.  God is outside of time, so He already knows the outcome.  It’s us that needs to learn the lessons, not God.  We’re not tested to prove something; we’re tested to learn something.  He shook his head in disagreement.  I told him that it’s all about faith.  We have to go to Him in faith.  God doesn’t have to prove Himself to us or do anything to earn our respect.  God doesn’t come to us; we go to Him.  Again, he shook his head in disagreement. 

I told him that yes, Jesus died for us to forgive us of our sins.  He’s right on that fact, but it’s a gift.  If you don’t reach out and accept the gift by inviting Jesus into your heart then you don’t get the benefits.  You either want the gift or you don’t.  He disagreed.  He doesn’t think that he has to be the one to accept the gift.  I told him that Jesus isn’t going to force it on anyone.  He will not dump it on your head or push it down your throat.  You either accept His gift or you don’t.  Jesus wants your love out of your own free will in your heart, not out of an obligation or forced position.  I can totally understand that.  The last thing I would ever want if / when I get remarried is for my husband to say to me that he married me because someone forced him to.  I've been through a lot in my life (My regular readers know there's a book in progress about my life.  Be patient.  It'll be worth the wait).  I've been in the forced positions way too often through abusive relationships.  It's not how true love is expressed.  As difficult as it is for me to be single; I choose it in a heartbeat over being in another abusive relationship.  I want true love that is from the heart, and all about God.  Jesus wants the same from us.  Just because you believe in Jesus and believe what He did for us doesn’t mean you’ve accepted the gift.  Even Satan, believes in Jesus!  My friend doesn’t believe that one has to accept Jesus’ gift of salvation in order to be forgiven and saved.  He thinks it’s automatically given to everyone who believes that Jesus existed and died for our sins.  He sees no reason for a concept of inviting Jesus into your heart, or accepting the gift.  I tried explaining to him that believing that He died for our sins and actually accepting the gift are two separate steps.  Jesus gave us an awesome gift... but it’s only a useful gift if we reach out and take it!
   
Several times I tried quoting scripture to him to back up what I was saying.  He saw my Bible on the table and said that it is not written by God; that it is written by people, who copied it from some another book.  He said that can connect me with people who can ‘prove’ my bible to be wrong.  I know he doesn’t  have these contacts, of course, because I know that the Bible is true and it is the only living Word of God.  It makes me wonder, though, why do people willingly settle for not wanting salvation when they could have a wonderful eternity.  Why are people willing to settle for temporary and instant pleasure even though it means an eternity in jail; in the fire pits of hell?  Personally, I only want to know THE one and only truth.

I told him to beware of churches that are preaching gospel that has been influenced by worldly thinking instead of being biblically sound.  Those types of churches are in every neighborhood these days.  I also shared with him about courses at my church and bible studies that I’ve done that show the data, even scientific evidence, that backs up the bible.  I told him that all the information he needs to see to believe is out there.  I even offered to start taking him to some of the courses that I’ve been doing where I’ve learned all these things over the past few years.  I also offered to give him phone numbers for a couple of men I know that could give him more than enough information to prove to him all he needed to know in order to show him that the bible is literal, accurate, God breathed, is backed up by science, that prophecy is accurate down to the letter.  He refused all my offers.

He figures his beliefs help him feel good and he is comfortable with that so it’s all fine.  I tried to use the example that God sets rules for us the same way that he sets rules for his daughters.  He saw no connection between the idea of him parenting his kids; and God setting guidelines for us because He loves us, just as my friend loves his girls.  He doesn’t understand that we go through so much trauma, trials and tribulations in our lives because God is trying to get our attention and we’re just not listening.  He believes that to be a ridiculous concept.  My friend thinks he hears God and believes himself to be Christian.  However, he also shares stories that tell me he is willing to cheat on his wife, doesn’t want to invite Jesus into his heart, to let God change him, live a Christian lifestyle, or follow Jesus (even though he says he believes in Jesus).  He says he hears God, yet he doesn’t believe that the Bible is the living Word of God.  I wonder, how what reference does he use to know it’s God’s voice he’s hearing over the enemy’s voice?  He has no drive or passion to know THE ultimate truth.  There is no quest in him to continue to know more and more about God, or to want to get closer to Him.  I want so much to make him realize that his thinking is relevant and that this type of thinking is useless.  It’s like chasing your own tail.     

Well, I was trying to explain to him about this drive within me to know THE truth.  I don’t want to settle for my own limited opinion or that of the masses; especially when I know it’s broken.  For me to settle for "my beliefs" leaves room for adjustment or being wrong.  I don't want that.  I only want to know the one and only, hard-core, unchangeable, definite, for-sure TRUTH!  I don’t understand how someone wouldn’t have an intense passion and a great need to how more and more about the one ultimate and absolute truth.  How could anyone settle for anything less?  My friend has no foundation for his beliefs except that it is what makes him feel good.  He stated straight out that this is perfectly OK with him and he’s willing to live with that.  What is my friend basing his values on?  He doesn’t believe that the bible is God breathed, so who’s rules is he following?  His own?  Where does he get the basis for his beliefs?  What makes him so absolutely confident in his own beliefs and feelings?  Personally, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be that confident in my own judgement.  What rules, guidelines or definitions is he following to know what is right or wrong; good or bad?  And why are those definitions so special that we should all be expected to follow them and base our lives, loves, faith, and eternal lives on them over the definitions or rules developed by someone else?  What makes him feel that his beliefs are so solid that he can be sure that of all the people in all the world in all of history, including the present time, that it’s his rules that will allow his soul to be saved for eternity and go to heaven?  If his own rules can do this, than what about everyone else?  Why his rules over someone else’s?  If everyone can save themselves just by making their own set of rules than where’s the order?  Why did Jesus die?  If everyone could save their own sorry butts just by feeling good about themselves than all the suffering, the sacrifice, humiliation, betrayal, pain that Jesus went through was in vain.  He died and fought death for nothing.  He went through the trouble of dying rising again from death to live forever all in an attempt to save us... when we didn’t need to be saved... we could have just save ourselves!?  And if we could save ourselves, than why would we have been broken in the first place?  That doesn’t make any sense.  There is absolutely no logic in that kind of thinking; no order, and God is a God of perfect order in every single thing He does.  And for those who don't believe that statement either, I've also seen the science to back that up as well!  It's fascinating when we can use the same science that scientists have been using for generations to prove the bible wrong; against them and prove it to be correct.  Jesus didn’t go through all that just because He was bored sitting around in Heaven waiting for us all to get there to have a big party!   

How do ‘seasoned’ Christians handle these things?  Does it ever get easier to see your friends or loved ones willingly turn away from God, even when they think they’re following Him?  Does the frustration ever go away?  Does the feeling that you failed your loved one by not getting through to them ever go away?  Does the feeling of failure to God ever go away; that you could have led someone to Him and didn’t?  My friend said that I have always had a big place in his heart, and always would, but that he wasn’t going to have this discussion anymore.  He willingly refused to hear or accept the gospel of Jesus.  I’ve known this man for twenty years, and I did not realize that he felt this way and so strongly.  I know that as a Christian that I have to pray for him.  I also know that if he continues to deny the gift Jesus is offering him than it is my responsibility to discontinue the friendship.  We are not to risk our own salvation for others.  My hope is that somehow I planted a seed.  I will pray, and continue to pray that Jesus will let it grow. 

As for my ultimate truth... I know this for sure... Jesus was born of a virgin, He died on the cross, He rose again on the third day, He lives still today.  He lives in my heart because I have asked Him to be my Lord and Savior; and as difficult as it is, I welcome the changes He is making in my heart and in my life.  I know that He loves me and forgives me.  I want to know more.  I want to get closer to Him.  I am not willing to be restricted by the limitations of worldly thinking.



~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for taking me to a church that preaches sound doctrine based on Your Word; and is committed to producing disciples for Christ.  Thank You for opening my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my mind to understand, and my heart to accept the truth.  I do not ever want to be restricted by worldly thinking, Lord.  Please do not ever let me lose the passion for this quest to know more and to get closer to You.  I pray that there was a seed planted in my friend, and that there will be more seeds planted as others read this article.  I pray that Jesus will let each and every seed grow into a deeply rooted tree that will produce much fruit in Your Holy name.  ~In Jesus name, AMEN.



I Think I Just Saw An Angel!

~~ Psalm 91:11-14 (NIV84) ~~  For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.  “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.




by Carley Cooper

Photo by Carla Cooper
One of many Angels in my collection
All Copyrights Reserved
 This is the third article in my series about Angels.  In the first post (Angels From Heaven) I talked about how people in our lives can be like angels sent by God to help us.  I shared a poem I wrote to someone special in my life who has been like an angel for me.  In the second article (Who Is Your Guardian Angel?) I talked about how God has given us angels, celestial beings, to protect us; to keep us from  danger.  Sometimes, if we are paying close enough attention, we will even get to see our angels as they’re digging us out of a pit that we got ourselves into!  My friend and author, Paul Duarte, experienced this first hand; literally!  As a Worship Melodies Guest Author, he shared his personal true story of being rescued by an angel from a situation that could have been fatal, on a cold winter day. 


Being a good friend, or rescuing us from our own messes aren’t the only purposes for angels in our lives.  Sometimes they are also sent to us to assist God in redirecting our paths after we’ve wandered into dangerous territory.  They help to prevent something terrible from happening in the future.  I have my own angel story about a day when an angel lifted me out of a very bad place.

It happed one day, several years ago; before I was an obeying and practicing Christian; before I knew the Holy Spirit or had a relationship with Jesus.  Even though I wasn’t living the life of Christianity; I did believe that there was a God, and I did believe that there was a man named Jesus who died for me.  If you’ve been a regular reader of my posts for quite some time, you’ll know that I am Bipolar.  I don’t hide it.  I talk about it freely because more people need to know that mental illness is not something to be afraid of; but that’s a whole other blog.  For that matter it’s a whole other book! 

Well, one night I was in the midst of a very bad depression episode.  It was one of the worst I’ve had.  Today, well, I no longer go to this dark place, because Jesus has rescued me.  That’s not to say that I’m totally cured... yet!  Back then, though, when I was in this dark place I would pray to God.  I’m not sure I ever really thought it was going to do anything for me realistically.  However, when I needed it the most and I had nowhere else to turn, I figured it couldn’t hurt.  Of course, back then most of my prayers were prayers of petition.  I just asked for things from God either for myself or others.  I never gave back to Him or worshiped Him. 

As I mentioned, on this particular night in question I was at the end of my tether.  I felt completely alone and I literally had no hope left inside me.  I  was to the point where I didn’t want to live.  Even, with this in my heart, and not knowing God; I also knew that doing something desperate to myself was not the answer.  I believed that no matter how bad things looked, hurting myself would only make it worse.  So, for that reason I was, literally, up all night crying and begging God to let me leave this world.  I begged Him “Please don’t let me see the morning light”.  I figured that asking Him to do it for me, would get me out of the mess that doing it myself would cause.  Of course, now that I’ve seen the light and I can think more logically, I can see the flaws in this kind of thinking. 

Well, the morning came, and I was still here.  With that in mind, I knew that the day must go on.  My first order of business was an errand to the bank.  I had a financial issue that couldn’t wait, and I had to actually go to the bank to resolve the problem.  But, I got there early.  It was about ten minutes before opening time.  So I stood in the mall outside the bank door waiting for it to open. 

Standing closer to the door, than me was an older lady with a walker.  I saw her there, but I didn’t speak to her.  She was short; maybe five feet tall.  She appeared to be in her late sixties; and white hair that was short with large loose curls. 

After a couple of minutes another lady walked in from outside.  She stood next to me as though she were waiting in line for the bank as well.  She looked at me like she knew me; but I didn’t recognize her as anyone that I had ever seen before.  I’m not good at remembering names, but I am very good at remembering faces, so if I knew her I’m sure I would have recognized her face.  She was about five and a half feet tall, and looked to be in her mid sixties.  Her hair was shades of grey; salt and pepper type.  It was straight and about shoulder length, curled slightly in around the bottom; and straight bangs cross the front.  She was wearing a dark-red cardigan sweater and a white, or light colored, blouse. 

She simply said to me “Do you have the time?”

It bothered me that she asked for the time.  I don’t know why, but I felt angry and irritated.  I tried not to show it though, and I looked at the time on my phone and told her what it said.  After a couple more minutes, the doors to the bank were opened.  All three of us that were waiting, walked into the bank.  There were several tellers on duty; more than enough to serve all of us . 

I was the one to walk the fastest, I am assuming, because of my younger age and much longer legs.  So, I was the first in line.   However... this did not sit well with the little old walker lady.  She came at me practically waving that thing and rushing to the first teller ahead of me screaming “I was here first, you’re not going to butt in line ahead of me”.  

It shocked me.  I would not have expected that to happen.  She looked so frail and sweet before.  My mind was still in a state of surreal after the night I had just lived through.  It took every ounce of energy that I had, plus some that I didn’t know I had, to hold back my tears and appear normal in a public place.  Having a feisty old lady in front of me at the bank would normally not be something that bothered me.  On a normal day, I probably would have laughed at it.  That day, though; that little incident was bigger than anything else I had ever had to handle.  It was enough to push me over the edge.  The surprise I got literally took my breath away for a minute.  I stood there with my mouth open in surprise not knowing if I should or could say anything without crying; or worse. 

In that minute, the third lady standing behind me; the one who asked me the time stepped closer to me.  She put her right hand on my right shoulder.  I turned my head to look at her.  She leaned in close to me, as if she were about to whisper something.  I simply heard a soft “Shhhhh.  Shhhhh”.  No other words were spoken.  In that instant, I felt the most overwhelming wash over my body.  I felt an instant, there was a warmth and sense of peace.  I stepped up to the teller, took care of my business and walked out of the bank.  I went home and had a good day. 

I don’t know if this lady was an angel, or just some kind old lady who was very intuitive.  I did not look back as I walked out of the bank; so I don’t know if she would have still been there if I had looked back.  I just know that God used her to bring me back from the edge.  From the edge of what?, I have no idea.  What would have happened to me, or what I may have done, or how I would have reacted if she hadn’t touched me; I do not now.  Literally, God only, knows!  Either way, she was an angel sent to me that day and I will be eternally grateful to both her and God.



~~ Dear God ~~    I have so many things to thank You for.  You are so awesome, and Your love is so great that “Thank You” hardly seems sufficient.  Thank you for the angels, of all types, that you send to rescue me.  Thank you for not letting me fall into the pit of darkness where I could be lost forever.  Thank you for the journey that I have travelled that has brought me into a relationship with You.  I am so thankful to You that I dedicate my whole life to serving You.  I am Yours.  But, who am I that my sinful soul and broken body could be of value to You?  Yet, it is because You gave Your Son to save me.  Thank You.  Please use me in whatever place that will help Your will to be done, and to advance Your kingdom.  In Jesus name, AMEN.



What’s the Point, Anyway?

~~ 1 John 1:7 (NIV84)~~   But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.


 
by Carley Cooper

Free Source Photo
Weekends are supposed to be our time off; a break from our busy lives to regenerate.  Ever notice that does not always seem to be what actually happens?!  Saturday’s there is cleaning to be done, kid’s functions to go to, shopping and errands to be taken care of, Aunt Esther’s 85th birthday party, and that is just to start with.  Sunday mornings are often the same routine as through the week.  You have to get everybody up and fed, and get ready to head out the door to church.  We go because... well, we have to go to church... right?!  Have you ever stopped to wonder why you go to church?  Truly deep down in your heart, what is the point?  Stop and think about that for a minute.

Was your first thought to the ‘why’ question something like ‘Well, I go because you’re supposed to.  It says so in the bible somewhere.”?  Well, if you are thinking along those lines, you certainly would not be alone.  However, this is not what God wants to see in our hearts as we go to His house.  Imagine if your family came to your house for a celebration dinner for your big promotion.  When you asked them why they came the response you got was ‘Well, I had no choice to come.  I knew you would freak if I didn’t come.”  That would not make you feel very loved or appreciated, now would it?!

God led me through a specific set of circumstances one day to bring this subject to light for me.  I was having a bad Bipolar Disorder episode and was quickly on my way to the bottom of a depression wave.  I got invited to spend the afternoon with my parents at their trailer at a nearby Christian campground.  I went because I did not want to disappoint them; but deep inside I was frustrated, irritated, had a big headache and I simply could not focus on any one thing.  The enemy had me believing that I wanted to stay home and wallow in it.  I listened to depressing music on my MP3 player to ‘drown out the world’.  The music I was listening to was the saddest songs I could find.  I really cannot say that I understand this next connection, but after a while it started to remind me of home.  That is, Newfoundland where I was born.  This in turn, reminded me that I love where I am living now more; and today, that is partly because of my church.  Thinking about the church reminded me of how much I love God, and how much He has changed my heart and my life.  Thinking about my blessings made me happy again.  I suddenly became very thankful that I decided to spend the afternoon in the park with my family.  Without that, I may not have come think about church and why I love it so much.  That is when I changed my music to something upbeat and stimulating!

When I realized the circle that God had just taken me on to pull me back into the light; I started to think about why some people go to church for the wrong reasons.  Whether we admit it or not, there are people who use the church for many bad reasons.  Things such as:
  • To get help with various needs and necessities of life; like food, financial help and other resources.
  • To hide from responsibility of spreading the gospel – to feel like you are being a ‘good Christian’ without having to step out of your comfort zone and do the work we are all called to do.
  • Position and power.
  • You like the pastor.
  • To find a spouse.
  • Because you are ‘supposed to go’.
  • Convenient location.
  • Networking with the ‘right’ people.
  • To place themselves in a desirable set of circumstances.

After thinking about this, I felt the need to re-evaluate my own reasons for going to church.  Here is what I came up with (in no particular order).  I go to church because:
  • It honour’s the Lord’s Day (Exodus 20:8)
  • It is a Home base for my life (read my blog post ‘How God Led Me Home’ for more details).   
  • I feel safe – there is a certain peace we all have at home that we do not usually feel elsewhere.  To have that foundation gives us something to build our lives on.  The same is true for our spiritual lives.
  • I have friendship and church family (read my blog post ‘Families are like Fudge’ for more details on how wonderful I feel my church family is).
  • I am learning who God is, what His Word says, and how to apply it to my life.
  • It helps me to be closer to God – God is everywhere; but many of us feel closer to Him during worship times when we are in His house surrounded by other Christians.  Not going to church, for me, would be a little bit like talking to Grandma over Skype and never going to visit her in person.  It is just not the same.
  • The Bible tells us to fellowship with other Christians (1 John 1:7)
  • I am exposed to more opportunities to serve God.
  • I am part of something bigger than me – I have a place and a purpose.
  • I am learning to safely step out of my ‘box’.
  • I am learning to forgive and trust again.
  • I am learning more about knowing when God is talking to me, and how to include Him in every part of my life.
  • It builds my faith (Romans 10:17)
  • It encourages me to do things I would not likely have done otherwise – such as writing, socializing and participating in ministries.
  • I am exposed to Godly people who help and teach me – counsellors, mentors and others.
  • I am exposed to unconditional love – from God and from my Church Family.
  • I am learning to build healthy relationships with others.
  • I am learning to see myself the way God sees me, and that I can do what He says I can do.
  • It gives me accountability (Hebrews 13:17)
  • God tells us that we are to go to church (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Do you truly care about going to church?  How often do you go?  Do you tell people you are a Christian and yet only go at Christmas, Easter, or special family occasions?  Does your family worship at home together?  How about, family Bible studies at home?  Are your decisions based on what God’s Word says?  Does your family pray together?  Is devotional and quiet time alone with God a part of your daily routine?  Are you part of a small group or Bible study group?  There was a time when I went to church only on special holidays; and I figured that was OK as long as I believed that God is real.   I thought that having to go every Sunday was a bit ‘over the top’.  Now, it is a different story.  I really love going to church.  Sunday’s are my favourite day of the week.  It is worship day!  Yea!!!  So, what keeps me going back to church every week?  There is only one good and perfect reason... because I love Jesus and I want worshiping Him to be the biggest joy in my life!



~~ Dear God ~~ Thank You for making me a part of the church home and church family that You have chosen for me - A family that strives to be disciples and to create disciples for Jesus.  Thank you for helping us to be so open that the Holy Spirit can move so freely among us.  Thank You for all the blessings that You have given to me through this church, because of Your awesome grace and mercy.  Please always let my heart always be open to receiving more lessons that will bring me closer to Jesus with each and every day.  Do not let me ever lose sight of the point of why I love going to church.  In Jesus name, AMEN. 



How God Led Me Home

~~ 1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV84) ~~  The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body.  So it is with Christ. 



Photo by Google Maps
One day when I was about 3 years old I got lost in the supermarket.  I was likely only an isle or two away from my Mom but, at that time, it felt like hundreds of kilometers.  I remember feeling so alone and so terrified.  The world suddenly seemed big and scary.  This very nice man talked to me and asked me some questions, and then he helped me find my Mom.  Since I was so young I do not remember all the details, but I do remember feeling so very happy when I saw my Mom again.  It was like going home after a long time away. 
Many years later when I first started to look for a church to attend, I had no idea which one to pick.  At that time in my life I was not Christian in the true sense of the word.  Granted I believed in the basic facts, like the virgin birth, Jesus lived a perfect sinless life, His death on the cross, and His resurrection.  I also knew that the Baptism and Holy Communion are important in choosing a church.  I did not have a relationship with Christ, nor did I have any concept of what could possibly mean.  Neither did I know or understand the Holy Spirit.  I had no idea that they are an absolutely vital part of the Christian life.  The one thing I did know though was that I could feel the pull within me to find a church.  I prayed for God to “help me find a church home, like a family where I can fit in, that will become the center of my world”.  I was not even sure I understood what this meant, or why I prayed this prayer so often because I had never heard the terms ‘church home’ or ‘church family’ before.  I had been to a lot of churches in my life and none talked about these things, or this kind of ‘belonging together’.  I only knew that I felt the need for it, that I had never known the feeling of fitting in, and that we are called to attend church regularly just as Jesus did (Luke 4:16 (NIV84) - He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom.).  But to find that church... I mean, there are so many denominations; all with their own ‘rules’; and each one claiming their rules are the ‘right’ rules.  How does one know which one to choose?  Does it matter?  I just wanted a church that did not care about ‘set rules’ but instead followed the bible without leaving parts out, changing it, or twisting anything to suit their needs.

My first choice was a church that I remembered being only 10 minutes walk from the new apartment I was about to move in to.  Convenient, since I do not have a car.  The new apartment was in a different city.  I was moving back home and was so very excited about that!  They say ‘home is where the heart is’ and I took the opportunity to move back to the place that my heart says is home, after my life took a huge unexpected turn.  I arrived in town, and that church I remembered being just a hop and a skip down the street... wasn’t!  They had moved.  It seems during the years I had lived elsewhere they outgrew their building.  The old building was now the new location of my dog’s veterinary hospital.  Great... we got our old vet back just down the road, but no church!  This meant that I would have to find another church; and that I would have to get connected with someone who could help me with transportation.  This problem for me was in the same category as the chicken and the egg.  I need transportation to get to church, but I need to go to church to meet people who could help me with transportation.

At this point, the thought occurred to me that since I have to find a church elsewhere, I might as well find one that I felt had the same beliefs as I have.  I figured, if I am to spend my life attending services every Sunday with this group, whoever they may be, than being comfortable with their belief system would make things much more enjoyable.  There are those out there that are not necessarily Christian, though they claim to be.  Then there are those that have beliefs and practices that are just... well, down-right ‘weird’.  I started to do some research and began with the church that I had originally planned on going to; in their new location.  I read their doctrine, statement of faith, beliefs, and core values.  I very much liked what I saw.  They had all the ‘good stuff’ I was looking for and none of the ‘bad or weird stuff’. 

However, I felt that I should keep researching just to make sure I knew all my options.  I checked out many other churches in the area; looking at the same information, mainly through their websites.  There were a few that did not have this information listed; so I emailed them and asked some questions.  Most were more than willing to share about themselves.  There were also a few that did not want to share so willingly.  I saw this as a ‘red flag’ and crossed them off the list right away.  In all my research, I found none that I liked as much as the first one.  Eventually, that first church became like a measuring stick that I used to evaluate others.  One day I said to myself “if that’s the church you want, than just make your decision and go”!  So I did... make the decision, that is.  Getting there was still a problem. 

Then one day my cousin said that she wanted to start going to church as well.  Wouldn’t you know it, she chose the same one I had picked!  So we went together in her car.  However, she changed her mind a short time later and stopped going.  I was so very disappointed.  I had enjoyed the services and the people more than I expected.  There was a certain warmth among them that I had never felt in church before.  There was also something special within their sermons that touched my heart and shed some light in ways that I had never experienced before in church.  Plus their music was a wonderful mix of old and new, which I so very much appreciated!  Nevertheless, I felt I had not been going there long enough to know other people well enough to request a ride on Sunday’s.  So, with no transportation any more, I would have to go back to Sunday morning TV services as my church time, hoping that one day soon I would find a solution.  So I waited for an answer to show up.... for about 2 years. 

Then one day I got an email in response to an advertisement I placed looking for a new roommate.  Without someone to share my apartment with, expenses were just too high to live alone.  This reply came on the last possible day before I would have to move again.  It turned out that this person not only showed up just in the nick of time, but is Christian and is a member of the church I had waited so long to join!  I saw this as a sign from God that this was the person I was to accept as my new roomie.  I felt this so strongly that I before I even replied to the email I called my Mom to tell her the good news that I had found my roommate!  During this time in my life I was very social-phobic.  This new friend ended up bringing me to church, introducing me to people; and helping me feel comfortable.  Since then my heart and my life have changed drastically as a direct result of being part of this church.  I am a whole new person, with a whole new life.

It has been a little more than 2 years since attending my first service there.  My first reasons for choosing a church were simply due to location and convenience.  I did not even include God in the decision process.  For that matter, during those days I did not know I could or should include Him.  He used this to lead me on a journey that would bring me full circle, but this time I would know without a doubt that God led me to this place.  It is His decision where my home church should be.  God is the one who places us in each and every position in our lives; to fulfill His purposes.  If we keep Him in our focus we will complete that purpose; His glory will shine and we will have many blessings bestowed upon us.  Today, I can understand that it is important for me to know God led me here because it leaves me no doubt that this is where I belong.  When we are in a position to see that it is His calling or our lives, we have no reason to doubt or rethink the decision.  We know that no matter what the present circumstances may appear to be, that the future is very bright. 

Since then, the church really has become the center of my world.  I have learned what a church family is and what a church home is.  I have also been introduced to the Holy Spirit, and have developed a relationship with God.  I am growing closer to Him with each and every lesson I learn.  My views on certain portions of my life went from a completely worldly perspective to one that God’s Word calls to live.  I volunteer on a regular basis, I attend bible studies, Adult Christian Education courses, I work at the Welcome Centre sometimes on Sunday’s, and any other areas where I may be useful.  I do all of this because I just love Jesus so much that my heart longs to do these things for Him.  I am part of something bigger.  I have a place and a purpose.  I am part of the Body.  I am part of a group; and I feel I belong there.  I have never had that before in my whole life.  This is a whole new experience for me.  They have welcomed me into their midst, made me a member of their family and they have shown me love like I have never known.  I in turn made a commitment to them when I was enrolled as a member.  Sunday’s are my favorite day of the week because it is worship day.  I get to sing ‘Worship Melodies’ to Him.  There is no doubt in my mind that I am where I was meant to be.  I am no longer lost.  Just like that day when I was 3 years old, I have finally come home. 



~~ Dear God ~~  Your ways, Your plans, Your purposes are all perfect.  Thank You for leading me home to You, and for the incredible position that You have blessed me with in Your divine plan for the world.  Thank You for bringing me closer to You with each and every lesson I learn and every ‘Worship Melody’ that I sing to You.  Even when circumstances are upsetting from my point of view, I know that You have a wonderful ending planned for me.  I do not have to question if I have made any wrong decisions or choices.  Those that I have made You will erase.  As long as I follow You and I will never again be lost.  In Jesus name, AMEN.



For the First Time Again

~~Hebrews 10:17~~ "Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.""



Gorila Forgive me Free Source internet photo No copyrights claimed
Free-source Photo
Have you ever felt like you are not good enough for God?  Well, guess what?!  You are not.  But, wait... before you click on the close button, let me tell you that there is good news!  The good news is that God does not care what kind of fiasco that you got yourself into this time.  He loves you anyway!

Non-Christians often think that Christians have to live a perfect life; that they have never gone down an ugly road in life, that they do not know ‘real suffering’, or that we think that we are ‘higher up’ than others.  Many non-Christians think that they have messed up too much for there to be any hope for them.  They do not turn to God for help because they believe that the things they have done are unforgivable.  As Christians we are very well aware of the fact that we are not perfect.  It is because of how badly we messed up our lives that we need Jesus.  Think about that for a minute... we have botched things so badly that only the creator of the universe can get us out of the mess we’re in.  That is some pretty nasty stuff!  

Christians are also aware that we will continue to be imperfect as long as we are in this world.  This is part of our sinful nature.... the nature of all people.  We just cannot help it.  No one has escaped this fate.  In God’s eyes it does not matter if you told a ‘little white lie’, if you robbed a little old lady on the street, or if you raped or killed someone.  Sin is sin!  Romans 3:23 (NIV84) tells us that ‘all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God’.  

For me, sometimes, this sin comes in the form of doubting God, or forgetting a lesson that He has taught me already.  Sometimes it is a lesson that He’s taught me a hundred times before now.  When Satan starts whispering in my ear that ‘I am just a lost cause’, or ‘I have gone way to far this time’, or ‘This definitely has to be the one unforgiveable sin’; sometimes I start to believe him.  As a Christian I am aware that this is not true.  Isaiah 1:18 (ESV) tells us that “The Lord says, now, let's settle the matter.  You are stained red with sin, but I will wash you as clean as snow.  Although your stains are deep red, you will be as white as wool.”  The thing about God is, that no matter how many times I start to think that I am not worthy, He will always find a way to make sure I get the message, again, that He loves me, that I am forgiven... for everything!  

I was thinking, again, recently that I had failed God beyond hope.  However, He made sure that I was present for a service at a church that I had never gone to before.  First, there were 2 people who told their stories about extreme sin (involving horrible crimes they had done and that were done to them).  They told us how they survived unbelievable circumstances.  God not only brought them through it, He forgave them for their sins and, now, leads them to tell their stories to people like me who tend to doubt so that we can see what He has done for other people.  Then, the sermon preached told me that I am important to God.  I am a ‘somebody’ in His eyes.  My sins are forgiven.... all of them, even the ones that I think are just way too bad to be forgiven.  God said “"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."  Isaiah 43:25 (NIV84)  That is right, He forgives us and then forgets about the sin completely!  It is over, done, removed, erased, gone, pardoned, forgotten... forgiven!

God finds many ways to give me these messages each and every time I need to hear them.  Sometimes it’s through a bible verse that jumps off the page at me; or through a book, devotional message or an article I am reading; or through a comment that I hear someone say, or through something I may see on TV or on the street.  God will talk to you in the ‘language’ that you understand; in ways that will be obvious to you, which may not be the same way as he talks to your friend, your child, or your spouse.  You will know it is Him when what you hear agrees with His Word.  If it is contradictory to the Bible, it is not God speaking to you.  So... you, reading this... the one that thinks ‘well, she’s not talking to me because my sin is way too bad’... I am talking to you!  God forgives you!  He loves you!  Nothing... absolutely nothing... you have done or will do can make Him stop loving you.  All you have to do is invite Jesus into your heart and ask for forgiveness, and it’s yours!  It’s a free gift; you just have to take it.

You know those moments when you hear something that you have heard a 1000 times before but, for some reason, this time it hits you in a whole new light?  It feels like you suddenly understand something you thought you have understood your whole life, but apparently you haven’t.  I love those moments, especially when I know it is a message from God.  Each time it feels like the first time I am hearing it.  It feels like incredibly exciting news... and it is!



 ~~Dear God~~ Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how often or how badly I mess up.  Thank You for Your forgiveness each ‘first time’ that You have to teach me an important lesson; and thank You for sacrificing Jesus to save me.  Please help me to hear Your voice when you are talking to me, and guide my every step so that I will walk closer to You every day.  Please give me Your strength fight the enemy when he is trying to lead me astray.  In Jesus name, AMEN. 



Here’s a song by Jason Gray called “First Time Again”.  Listen to the lyrics.  It’s awesome.


The First Post

Number One Candle. Free source internet photo. No copyrights claimed
Free source photo
Well, here I am.  After weeks of working to set up this site and problem after problem causing me to have to start from scratch several times, I am ready for the first post.  My first thought was, what should the number one post be about?  I did some research; and got answers such as 'who you are, what is your story, and why are you here', among other things.  Sounds like common sense after you have been given the answer, doesn't it?  Then I started thinking 'but that's the basic information in the About page'.  Why would I want to tell you the same things twice?  Ah, but it's not twice because here and now I get to tell you a little more detail.

First - Who am I?

Since I started going to the church I attend 2 yeas ago, I have learned, for the first time, exactly who I am.  One of the first times I went there they gave me a bookmark that told me who I am.  As a matter of fact the title is "Who am I?".  Since then I have come to understand that I am royalty.  I am a daughter of the King; a child of the living God who created the universe.  See, according to God's Word, I am:


Second - What's my story?

In a nut shell my story is this: I am a sinner.  I am someone who messed up so badly and got myself into such a mess that only God, Himself, can get me out of it.  I needed help to bail me out of my dire circumstances, so I called on my Father.  I did that after years of not being close to Him or listening to anything He had to say to me.  Kinda 'nervy' now that I think about it.  After all, He had every right to send me away.  He had every right to walk away from me and leave me in that dark prison; and to find my own way out.  

This well known poem by Carol Wimmer sums it up nicely:


When I Say that "I am Christian"

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”
I’m whispering “I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my
mess.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow.


Third - Why am I here?

God has called each of us to praise Him and to share His Word.  I'm here to tell you my story, but I'm also here to tell you that God wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  See, even though God has every right to walk away and leave me in prison; He did not do that.  Instead, He bailed me out of hell; literally.  The good news is that we do not have to stay in prison.  He sent His only Son, Jesus, to pay my fine.  Our bail has been paid and the judge has thrown out the case.  Jesus died for me; defeated death and hell; and brought me back home.  Awesome Father, huh?!  I am going home and He has this awesome place already and waiting for me to live with Him.  That is so cool! 

This great gift does come with a catch though.  That is, you have to willingly accept it.  You do that by asking Him to forgive you and then inviting His Son, Jesus, into your heart and allow Him be your Savior.  Then you have to believe, have faith; and follow Him in every thing you say, think and do. 

God wants you to know that He thinks you are awesome!   He loves you so much and He misses you so badly that He does not care how terribly you have messed up.  He just wants you to live with Him forever.  He wants to live with you every day in this world.  He wants to be part of your life, your home, your family, all your decisions... everything.   

If you have never invited Jesus into your life before; you can do it now, right where you are in front of your computer screen with this prayer. 

~~ Dear God ~~ I want to know you personally.  I know that I have done wrong and I am sorry.  I am willing, with your help, to turn away from my sins and turn to you.  I believe, Jesus, that you died and rose again for me.  Please come into my life.  I receive you as my Saviour and Lord, as best as I know how, right now. AMEN.

Once you have prayed this prayer from your heart, contact a local bible-based church in your local area and speak with a pastor and tell him / her about your decision. They will help guide you in your next steps.

If you did say this prayer from your heart for the first time because of something I have said here, than that is why I am here.



Here's a video with people like you and me reciting the poem "When I Say that I Am Christian".  Afterward there's a song.  Enjoy.