Happy 1st Birthday!

~~ Exodus 15:26 (NIV84) ~~  He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes... I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”

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by Carley Cooper

Free Source Photo - No Copyrights Claimed

We’re having a birthday!  Worship Melodies is one year old.  To celebrate the occasion of our birthday today, I thought it would be fun to share with you, the story behind how Worship Melodies was born.  You see, it really wasn’t my idea in the first place to do this.  Here’s how it all happened...

One day last year in 2011, somewhere between mid to late April, I was sitting on my couch with my laptop in front of me; working on one of, at least, a dozen big projects that I have on my desktop at any given time.  That issue, of too much work at hand, is another whole blog by itself.  It stems from a problem that lies somewhere between insufficient time management skills and racing Bipolar mania-episode thoughts.  Anyway, as if someone flipped a switch, my mind suddenly went from my task at hand to “I have to start a blog site.”  Before I even realized the thought was there, I had spoken it out loud to myself.   The flipping the switch part, could be a Bipolar matter, but after I spoke those words I realized what I said.  Wow, I’m staring my own website.  Cool!  Sometimes, I think, the racing thoughts matter can be a good thing, because in the next few minutes I had come up with a basic website plan and purpose. 

First, the whole point would be so I can share my journey; the ups and downs of the lessons I’m learning on my way toward God. 

“However, if I’m going to do that”, I thought, “I absolutely have to make it so others can be helped and learn as well.  Otherwise, what’s the point?  I have to lead others to God by using my own life and talents.” 

I saw the whole concept immediately.  It would be a travel theme.  You know... my ‘journey’; like a travel log.  Then I spent the next several hours writing down the specific goals that I wanted to accomplish, and by knowing these goals I would have a title for my blog. 

“Ah ha!  That’s it”, I said.  “I absolutely love that title.  My new site will be called ‘Enlightened Expedition Diaries’.”  


I know what you’re thinking; “Huh?!”  Well, bare with me.  You’ll hear the music in a minute. 

Next I went to work on the design.  I spent the next two weeks, day and night, working on it.  I had the URL reserved, and the background shot was an old treasure map with a compass sitting on top.  The fonts were all picked out to match in designs that fit an old world, pirate-type theme.  After two weeks, I was almost done. 

“Just another day or so”, I thought “and I’ll be finished the design and ‘assembly’ work.”

Wrong! 

At that point in my website design work, one afternoon Blogger.com crashed.  People all over the internet; all over the planet, were freaking out and in a major panic looking to string someone up in a painful way.  In the end, the only way for the Blogspot team to get the site up and running again was to roll back to a past maintenance backup.  Everyone’s work for the previous week was gone.  Forever and ever, AMEN; gone!  There was a lot of very upset people in the world that day; and I was one of them. 

LESSON ONE learned in this journey: Backup as you go!  It’s not just a cute and fluffy theory.  It could actually be handy sometime.

I was back to a website that was only half finished.  “Grrrrrrr”. 

However, I got right back to work and spent the next week redoing everything I had just finished.  Then the day came.  The site is done.  I just need to write a few posts to start.  So, I went online to do some research to see what would be a good first post. 

Stop!  Wait a minute!  “It’s all wrong”, God said.  “It’s gotta be a music theme.”

Truthfully, my heart sank.  “What?  Are you serious?  Oh, but Lord, this is so awesome.  Look at it.  I got a great design and a super cool name, and a treasure map!”

“Music”, He said.

“I’m not a music person, not that I wouldn’t wanna be someday, but I don’t even know how to play any instruments.  The only thing I know about music is what I like to listen to”, I replied.


LESSON TWO: When God gives you an idea, or a command, stop and listen to Him about the details of how He wants it done!


But, there I was, back to designing it all again.  Granted, I was a little cranky about it at first, but the more I worked on it, the more it grew on me.  Some of the work, such as layout I was able to save and use, so I wasn't really back to square  one.  I just needed a new name, URL, background, fonts, email address, and other such things.  So I spent another afternoon coming up with a new name, based on the idea that we are to ‘sing’ God’s praises, even through the tuff stuff.  After another week, I was finished;  again! 

Ta... da!  “This is awesome", I thought.  "God was right.” 

LESSON THREE:  Don’t argue with God.  You won’t win.  God is always right.  Huh, funny thing... it seems that I remember learning that lesson once before. 

Well, I knew then when I finished my design, that this endeavour would be a success.  I don’t necessarily know in what form that success will come, but I know that God told me to do this.  He even picked out the theme.  I pray always, that He would use me to write messages that will touch other’s hearts.  God is leading me in this at every step. 

So, I decided on the topics for my first few articles.  I had read that one should always begin a blog site with, at least, a few posts.  The first one I called, conveniently enough, ‘The First Post.’  

I know, some would say, “for a creative person you’re not very creative.”  But, I liked it. 

Then, I came up with the next couple post ideas and I wrote all the articles.  The next step was to ask Pastor Henry to proof read everything before publishing them; to make sure my writing was good, and my theology was biblically sound.

LESSON FOUR:  Pastor Henry is a cool dude... that is, for an old guy... and especially when he likes my work!  That’s why I've since started baking him a batch of Chocolate Chip Cookies every once in a while.  My Grandma used to tell me “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  Granted, she was talking about finding a husband, but I figured I could apply the theory to any situation involving keeping a man happy.  Hmmm, that reminds me.  He might be due for another batch. 

The last step was to publish everything and announce it to the world... well, at least to everyone I know anyway.  Which I did in a mass email, and by telling all my friends on Facebook and Spark People. 

LESSON FIVE:  the blessings never stop when you listen to God.  So on that note, it already is a success. 

My writing has grown and improved through this venture.  My self-confidence is improving.  I am growing closer to God.  And, I am told all the time, by you, my loyal readers, how much I touch your lives with my work.  This is my own little ministry that takes place here in this little corner of the world wide web; and all I really long for is to let others know my heart, in hopes that you will be drawn closer to God just like I am.  Therefore, you too can know His wonderful love and grace through the miracle of His Son, Jesus Christ.  You tell me how much I bless you.  Thank you so much for that from the bottom of my heart and soul.  However, I feel that it is me who is blessed the most, by God through you.  I love each and every one of you.  It’s a very Happy 1^st Birthday!     

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~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for the journey.  Thank You for the struggles because, without them, I would not have lessons to write about.  Thank you for the awesome site concept, and for my online friends and readers who support me with each and every post.  Thank you for bringing me into this ministry.  I look forward to seeing where it will lead.  I love You, Lord.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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~~~~ Birthday Gift Give-Away! ~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GIVE-AWAY CLOSED ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See comment section below for winner announcement

Worshipers... to celebrate Worship Melodies 1^st Birthday, I'm giving away a Birthday Gift!  Please leave a comment about the blog in the comment section below, and you would win a Chris Blakley prize package!  The package contains his last 3 CD’s; plus, a copy of his new book, Words of Thought......or not. 

Chris Blakley, based out of Clearwater, Florida (with connections to Barrie, Ontario), is a musician, singer and songwriter that preaches the gospel.  His music will thrill and inspire your heart.  He is an inspiration and encouragement to people of all ages.  His soul stirring songs draw people to Jesus.  His style of music varies from rock, contemporary and southern gospel.  

CD’s titles include:

• Chris Blakley
• Redemption
• 4Given – including the song ‘I May Be Down’ from the video below. 

PLUS, if you are the winner and would like the CD’s and the book all autographed personally to you, I will personally ask him to do that before I ship the CD’s and book to you.  Note, however, it will be 3 – 4 weeks before I will see him again in order to ask him to do that. So shipping time will be 4 - 6 weeks before you receive them.  ~Carley

DEADLINE: Friday, June 1^st, 2012 at 12:00 Noon (EST)  

A winner will be drawn from the names listed in the comment section below, here on this post titled 'Happy 1st Birthday' on the Worship Melodies website.  The name of the winner will be posted in the comment section here on this post 'Happy 1st Birthday' after 12:00 Noon and before  12:00 Midnight on Friday, June 1st, 2012.  So please come back to see if you’re the winner, and email me your contact details.  If the winner doesn't contact me by the following Friday on June 8th, 2012 at 12:00 Noon (EST), a new winner will be chosen.  (See the Contact page for Worship Melodies contact information).  

Chris Blakley Prize Package

Click this website title link to see Chris's website:

Chris Blakley Ministries Website

Click this website title link to see the Blakley family website, and to hear more clips of Chris's music.  If you're in the Barrie, Ontario area and would like to see Chris preach and perform, he is in town once per month.  Message me and I'll send you the deets:

Note: that Pastor Garnet Blakley, from Barrie, Ontario, passed away in January 2012 from cancer.  He was an incredible evangelist and a man who led many to Jesus.  He won't be forgotten.

The Blakley Family Singers Website

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~~~~ Photo Opp ~~~~

June 24, 2012 - Carley with Chris Blakley 
(Right after He autographed the CD's for winner, Ravyna)

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Mixed Blessings

~~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV84) ~~  Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

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by Carley Cooper

Carley's Traditional Holiday Cheesecake
Photo by Carley.  All copyrights reserved.

So, you’ve finally purchased that dream home; but it’s huge and now you have to keep it clean, heated in the winter, cool in the summer, and the lawn kept looking great.  It’s practically a full time job.  However, your family is so happy living there!  Or, maybe you had a rich uncle that passed away and left you millions; but it didn’t last long because your extended family and long lost friends that you didn’t know you had asked for so many handouts.  Nevertheless, you feel great about helping others.  Possibly you’ve finally let yourself have that cheesecake on the dessert menu at your favorite restaurant; but now you have to work out twice as long tomorrow to make up for it.  On the other hand, it tasted super yummy!  Some things in life bring just as much heartache as they do pleasures.  Ever wonder if it’s worth it?  Is the higher pay, benefit package, and rubbing elbows with the brass in your promotion at work really worth having to put up with a longer commute, road rage, and spending half the time with your family as you used to? 

Now and then it crosses my mind to wonder about some things in my life.  Such as my blog writing, getting close to others, or writing a book about my life to share with the world.  Is it all truly worth it?  I know that God led me to do this ministry that I’ve called Worship Melodies (that story in a future post).  It is a privilege and a joy to show God’s glory, grace and mercy by sharing my stories.  I get told all the time that I am blessing people.  You just have to go back through my posts and read the comments by followers to know that’s true.  I am honestly humbled so often because of what my readers say to me.  But, much of the time, for me to write that well; to share a story that has such a great lesson that it touches people so deeply, it usually means I have to go through a dark period.  I end up feeling depressed, alone, lonely, rejected.  That’s where my message come from.  It’s what  Worship Melodies is all about; sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way in order to show God’s wonderful love.  Then, there’s the fact that I’ve always had a very hard time making and keeping friends, and holding on to relationships.  If you read my post called The Path of Least Resistance, you’ll know that difficulty keeping relationships together is fairly standard for those of us with Bipolar Disorder.  I long to have close connections, to have a commitment from someone, to feel like a friend loves me unconditionally and won’t snub or judge me no matter what.  We are made for relationship, but the truth is that people do judge, reject, and put conditions or their own agenda on a friendship.  When that happens, it sends me into a tail spin that I often can’t get out of alone without help from my doctors and medications.  Also, I’m in the midst of writing a book about my life; one that, again, I know God led me to write.  But, is sharing my life; the details of the bad stuff along with the good things, with the world really a smart idea?  Such openness will leave me more vulnerable than I’ve ever been.  Am I strong enough to handle it?

Well, you don’t have to doubt any more people.  That’s because God assures us in  2 Corinthians 4:16-18 that we are not to lose heart.  Though on the outside things look dark, the truth is that on the inside we are being renewed.  He says that all our troubles are actually just momentary problems that will be all worth it when we gain eternal blessings as a result of them.  We are not to focus on the temporary things that we can see.  Instead we are to focus on the eternal things that we cannot see.  As a matter of fact, God tells us in James 1:2-4 (NKJV) that we are to “count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”  He also tells us in 1 Peter 4:12-13 (NKJV) “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.”  No matter how miserable we feel in our current situation, it is nothing compared to the “glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18 (NIV84)).  Jesus promises us in Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV84) that if we come to Him when we are carrying our burdens that He will give us rest.  I don’t need to wonder if I’m strong enough to handle future events.  Jesus is with me.  God led me to this place, and He will lead me through it as well. 

Even when you’re sick and you have to wonder if the ‘cure’ is worse than the disease; just know that the struggle will be so worth it.  Though we may not see it now, in a mixed blessing as long as you focus on Jesus the disadvantages will never outweigh the blessings.

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~~ Dear God ~~  Though sometimes it is difficult to see, I know that the blessings far outweigh the negative things.  I am being moulded to be like Christ, to produce fruits of the spirit, and to glorify You.  I am also learning not to sin, to help others, and I am getting stronger in my endurance and faith with each day that passes.  I am being prepared to walk into Your Kingdom.  Thank You for this journey, Lord, that You are leading me on and through.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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Bubbles and Peace

~~ Romans 15:13 (NIV84) ~~  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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by Carley Cooper

Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images

There’s a married couple that I know that has a great story of how he led her to Christ.  As they tell it, when they started dating he was already a Christian who was totally in love with Jesus.  She saw a happiness and peace inside him, and decided almost right away “I want what he has”.  I’ve often thought about that since I first heard them tell that story.  It reminds me of days gone by in my own history.  There was a time when I felt happy and at peace.  I dated several guys during that time and they all told me the same thing; that they fell in love with me because I was “bubbly”.  It fascinated me that each one used that same word, not knowing what the others had said.  Over the years I’ve often wondered where that bubbly young spirit disappeared to?  Somewhere along the line, the bubbles were popped. 

What is it that you want others to see in you?  Have you ever really thought about it?  When it comes to other people, I think what I want most is for someone to see that bubbly nature, but I also want them to see the peace of the Holy Spirit.  Since I have come to understand and feel that I have a relationship with Jesus, I have come to know that peace.  I have a 2012 calendar on my wall and the page for March quotes John 14: 27 “My peace I give to you.”  It also says “Inner Peace – Nothing can disturb the calm peace of my soul.”  I know that feeling of peace, and I know that others have seen it in me.  Last year, despite a few rough patches, was a great year for me in regards to feeling God’s peace within me.  It was the first time in many years that I felt that calm.  I knew God was telling me that my bubbly character was emerging because I had a couple of people mention it to me.  Again, they used that word, bubbly, not knowing what others before them had said.  Only this time it was even better because I’m ‘bubbly’ for the Lord.  Another time, one of the pastors at church said to me one day that I had a certain peace about me that he liked.  As I walked into church one Sunday morning, about to take my seat, a woman said to me “Wow, look at you.  You’re radiant!”  Now that’s an awesome word, 'radiant!'  God was confirming to me that I am changing.  My heart is being molded by Him slowly.  My true nature is coming back.    

In recent weeks I have been in the midst of a struggle.  Of course we know that these struggles are vital if we are to get closer to God.  Hopefully it is one that I am learning from; that is helping me get closer to Him.  Part of me feels like my bubbles have burst again.  That calm has been upset.  It has left me, at times, with the most uncomfortable feeling of coldness.  After knowing the warmth and peace of the Holy Spirit, to go through an emotional experience where God feels far away has left me with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness.  I know, that God is not actually far away because He never leaves us.  Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV84) says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  This struggle has taught me that if I’m feeling far from God it’s because I’m not letting Him in.  In my quiet times with Him, He’s been telling me to “lay it at the cross”.  I have a sun catcher that hangs in my window that says “Let God & Let God”.  I have to do that.  Without it, the peace is impossible. 

Truthfully, I miss that bubbly spirit so very much.  I often look in the mirror and long for her to look back at me again.  There’s one big difference though between that bubbly young girl of my youth, and the woman I am now.  That is, Jesus.  I didn’t know Him then.  I knew OF Him, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him.  For that matter, I didn’t know I could.  As much as I want to be that bubbly person again, I don’t want it if it means being without Jesus, like I was so long ago.  The cold, empty feeling that I’ve had because of my tail spin is something I don’t like.  It is the most painful feeling in the world to me now.  It is worse than the rejection by others ever was or could be.  Things are getting better on a daily basis.  All through the month of March, every day I would look at my calendar and be reminded that I have God’s assurance of peace within me and no one can break it or take it away from me.  It was an incredible comfort to me.  I am learning from this experience, and I am growing.  Some days that’s easier to see than other days, but God has given me a stubborn nature to never give up.  In this case, it has been a blessing because it assures me that I will bounce back.  I always do.  

What do I want others to see in me?  Bubbles and peace for certain, which can be summed up in one word; Jesus!

         

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~~ Dear God ~~  The journey You take us on to get closer to You, and to become more like Jesus is filled with struggles.  Thank You Lord, for these struggles.  Without them I would not be growing stronger and closer to You each day.  Without them I would not be learning the value in knowing Your peace in my life.  Please help me to grow to be that bubbly personality filled with the peace of the Holy Spirit that allows people to say “I want what she has”.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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Yuletide Cheer

~~ Luke 1:47 (NLT) ~~   How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!

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by Carley Cooper

It’s almost here!  Christmas, that is.  The excitement is in the air so thick you can practically smell it.  Do you have your tree and decorations up yet?  Are you finished your shopping?  Have you done your Christmas baking yet?  Oh, and don’t forget the Christmas cards!

We put ourselves through weeks of preparation for this day.  Hundreds or even thousands of dollars are spent for gifts that we don’t really want to buy so we can give them to relatives we don’t see the rest of the year because they get on our nerves so much.  Decorations are hung everywhere, and more food is prepared for that one day than we need for several days.  Then there’s the parties with eggnog spiked enough to knock out a black bear.  We write out so many Christmas cards to people we never see or talk to that we get writer’s cramp; and keep the post office in business for another year.   Weeks are spent baking fruit cakes that have the daily caloric limits to keep the average healthy elephant going for several days. 

Have you ever stopped to wonder why we do so much for what is essentially one day?  We put up a tree... inside the house.  I mean, think about it for a minute.  A tree?  In the house?  Does that not strike you as just a tad bit odd?  Only to put all sorts of completely useless and colourful doo-dads on it.  And we finish it off by letting some strange fat guy come into our house in the middle of the night where gets to eat our snacks, and have the freedom to snoop to his heart’s content around the house and we are be none the wiser.  Oh, have you ever stopped to notice that not only has he not shaved in... forever... but he has also been wearing the same coat and pants for decades?  Truthfully, I’m not sure I would want my kids sitting on this old guys knee.

What is the excitement about anyway?  Do you even get excited?  Some of us have a difficult time through the Christmas season.  It’s been about 18 years since I’ve had a truly great Christmas.  It’s a very long story, but the bottom line is that it’s been a long time since I’ve looked forward to Christmas.  It is a very emotionally draining time of year for me.  When the Yuletide Cheer was handed out, I seem to have missed getting my portion.  There’s one person out there who got a double shot of joyfulness; and who’s just a little bit too cheery; and it isn’t from the eggnog. 

I put my Christmas tree up last week.  That alone was emotionally draining for me.  But wait... it wasn’t decorated yet.  I mean, literally, just putting the tree up.  And it’s only a small tree about 3.5 feet tall sitting on top of a small table; which I have to stick with because of space issues.  I am proud to say, though, that I haven’t killed any trees for my own pleasure in many years.  I’ve stayed with some very nice artificial trees.  Anyway, since I put it up last week, it took me all whole week to force myself to put any decorations on it, which I did yesterday.  The place looks nice.  Except I wasn’t feeling it.

This morning, when I got up I showered and got ready to go to church.  Except, that I had no interest in going and my joy was completely nonexistent.  The tension has been building inside me for a couple months at the thought of Christmas coming.  This past week was the worst, and the height of that was since yesterday.  I have been questing a few important things in my life in the past week.  I talked with my Pastor in a counselling session a few days ago, about the doubts that I’ve been having.  I have had strong believe for certain things in my life for a long time.  One of these things didn’t come to pass.  It made me question my faith; if it was placed right.  If I could be so wrong about one thing, than how do I know that I’m not wrong about more important things?  My vision of the future became very bleak.  I wondered if I am to spend the rest of my life in this same struggle.  Will it ever end,  or if I should try to come up with a solution to my issues and go out and solve it myself. 

Well, I forced myself to go to church because I know that in the past when I have been in this state of mind, going to church has always been a wise move.  Today was no exception.  Being the second Sunday of Advent, the sermon was about... wouldn’t you know it... about “Joy”.  I went and spent the first half of the service trying to hold back tears because of how I was feeling inside.  Then I heard the message of the day.  God definitely wanted me to hear this sermon today. 

Pastor said that as a culture, we are confused and disoriented about Christmas.  When the angel appeared to Mary to tell her she would conceive a child; she didn’t exactly jump for joy.  Mary was “confused and disturbed”.  I try to put myself in her place.  How would I feel if God said that I was chosen to give birth and be a Mother to the One who would save the world?  I’m not sure, but I think I would panic at the very least.  I mean, my first thought is “but God, I’m having a hard time just with writing a book.”  However, Mary took the angel at his word, and decided to obey God.  Then  she went to visit her cousin who she could talk to; who she knew would understand, support and encourage her.  After being obedient, Mary found true joy.  It is by being obedient that we are rewarded with try joy.  (Luke 1:26-47 (NLT))

Pastor asked us if we were hearing from God, as Mary did.  He said that we will always hear from God in many ways in our lives.  He said that we probably feel like it’s shaking up our lives and rattling our cage.  It’s confusing and scary.  My thought was “yep, that sounds familiar!”  But if we surround ourselves with supportive people, and vow to take God at His Word, and obey Him; we will find joy. 

After the sermon I went to the prayer rail and cried; partly because I needed to let out all the emotion inside me and also because I was thanking God for how well He takes care of me.  God knows that I want so very much to obey; but when I need someone the most, that’s when I’m least likely to reach out.  So, He sends people to me.  For example, yesterday when I was feeling overwhelmingly lonely and alone; my friend Jeff from Myrtle Bach popped up on Skype.  The conversation got around to where he was telling me that when Jesus taught us how to pray He said we are to ask that God “give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV84)).  Jeff said that means ‘Today’; not tomorrow, or next week.  We are to pray for what we need on this day.  Tomorrow will take care of itself (Matthew 6:34 (NIV84)).  Yesterday, I needed someone to talk to, and God gave that to me at the moment I needed it the most; along with a great message of guidance and support.  Today, He gave me what I needed to hear to realize that I am on the right path.  I don’t have to try to fix my own issues.  God has a plan, and as long as I stay on this track and obey; joy is at the other end. 

I got out of service today, and had another pep talk from a wonderful friend, Garry which topped off what we had just heard.  I told him that every year for many years I have only asked for one thing.  Every year I don’t get it.  Garry asked me if I was asking for what I wanted for Christmas, or what God wants for me.  I had never thought of it like that before.  He was right.  I have been asking for what I want in my life, not what He wants in my life.  I left there feeling like there is a real possibility that I may have a great Christmas this year.  Where do you find your Christmas cheer?

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In my life, the cultures that I have been blessed to be part of, at times, during the Christmas season wish each other a Merry Christmas in the following ways.  How do you say it?

English – Merry Christmas

French – Joyeux Noel

Portuguese – Feliz Natal

Here’s a video of everyone’s old Spanish favourite...  Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano

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~~ Dear God ~~   Thank You for the joy, and the path of obedience that you are taking me on to find it.  Please help me to keep Jesus at the center of my Christmas cheer, and to never lose sight of that.  Help me never to forget that neither fruitcake, decorated trees or fancy wrapping paper will ever bring me the joy that only You can bring.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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Finding the Silver Lining

~~ Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV84)~~   Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

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by Carley Cooper

My dog, Casey is afraid of Chicklet, our lovebird.
Casey: "Mommyyyy. It's gonna hurt me. Help!"
Photo by Carley

Are you a ‘glass half full’ or a ‘half empty’ kind of person?  Do your clouds have silver linings?  Everyone in this world has to struggle and go through hard times.  It is how we were designed to learn.  Sometimes learning that is, in itself, one of those struggles that must be overcome.  Every struggle, battle, and side trip is a lesson or a series of lessons to be learned.  If we are not paying attention we can miss some very important signs that are meant to guide us on our journey.  Of course, this applies to the good times as well.  Even if you have a very difficult time seeing the bright side, you need to be creative enough to turn it into a usable lesson.

This concept reminds me of a lesson in my Interior Decorating studies many years ago.  Almost every house has some sort of niche that you wish was not there.  Surely your house has some sort of odd corner, alcove, or unusual shape to a room that seems to prevent proper furniture placement.  As decorators we are taught to turn this into a positive thing.  Use it to create an attractive feature that you could not have without it.  Another example is from my healthy living program.  There are so many people trying to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  Many times I have read blogs by these individuals listing, for example, “75 Things I Learned from my 75 Pound Weight-loss”.  People are finding unexpected blessings in their times of trial.

One of these struggles for me has been my battle with Bipolar Disorder.  Sharing my story is something that I like to do because, like sharing weight-loss stories, it is encouraging to others giving them hope, as well as a reminder to myself about how far I have come.  Battling with this health issue has taught me a great many things.  A few of these things are:

• I have learned that I am never, ever to give up.  Do not quit and you will not be a failure.
• I have learned more details about the disease than I ever thought I wanted to know (symptoms, characteristics, treatments, etc.).
• I have learned that I am not alone.  There are many people out there suffering in the same way.
• I have learned that no matter how severe my depression episode should happen to be... I know that my mood will be going up very soon.  I also believe that one day, in God’s timing, my mood will go up for the last time.  There will be a day when I will no longer hit a rock-bottom depressive episode.  I believe the day is coming in my future when I will no longer be Bipolar.  A special friend once said to me “It is when things look impossible, that God does His best miracles”... but the key is that you have to have faith in Him.  You have to repent from your sins and let God mould your heart to be like that of Jesus. 
• I have learned (thanks in part to my healthy living journey) that there are certain foods that can trigger bad episodes in me.  I know what foods I am to stay away from; what foods contribute toward keeping me from going into a severe depressive episode or a severe mania period; and how to strive for a healthy lifestyle.
• As a result, I have also learned a huge amount of nutritional information.
• I have learned the importance of regular exercise for my mental health.
• I have learned just how much of a gift that music (especially Worship Music) can be.  Many days music is the wall that keeps me from falling into depression.
• I have talked about my battle with Bipolar before in an earlier blog entitled “The Truth”.  I have learned, as I said in this previous article, that Bipolar is “not a choice, a sin, a crime, a weakness, or a character flaw”.
• I have learned that mental illness is not something to be embarrassed about, afraid or ashamed of. 
• Through some amazing therapy and recovery programs offered in the area where I live, I am being taught how to “reprogram my brain” by learning how to change my thinking.  As a result, I have learned that:
• Bipolar does not mean that I am broken. 
• It is not my fault.
• I am not crazy.
• I am not bad.
• I am trustworthy.
• I am loveable.
• I am good enough.
• I belong.
• I am worthy.
• I have learned that the stigma placed on me is not who I am.  Those negative beliefs by others are false, uneducated, shameful, and fearful; and are not connected to the truth.  I was told once that “you do not know how to count your blessings, because if you did then you would not be depressed”.   This kind of uneducated lie from the enemy is exactly the kind of stigma that the public needs to be educated about.  More and more, science is proving that mental illness is indeed a physical disease.  It is caused by chemical and hormone imbalances, and personally, I believe; also from chemicals, preservatives and artificial sweeteners in our over-processed food supply.  Those of us, who suffer from mental illness, have known this for years because often the physical symptoms show up before the emotional symptoms.
• I know that judging others by their appearance; or rather by their Bipolar, is about as efficient as judging a book by its cover.
• I have learned to reach out for help and support when I need it.
• I have learned that I am incredibly strong.  I am stronger than I ever would have thought I could be.  I have to be or it would be impossible to survive this; especially considering that I am doing it as a single woman living alone.  With all the wonderful support I get from family, friends, counsellors, church family, and my medical-care team; when I am at home, I am alone.  If I cannot care for myself, than who will?  Thankfully, I am a child of God and He has sent Jesus, to take care of me.
• Depression is the place the enemy wants many of us to stay; even those without Bipolar.  I have learned that this place is a glimpse of just how dark and scary the world would be without God.  I have learned that I do not ever want to go there.

With all these points mentioned, I believe that the biggest lesson I have learned is that I need to turn to God whether I am at the bottom or at the top.  I cannot get back up out of the pit of depression, or come down from a mania period, or stay supported and stable at a healthy level in between; without Him.  No matter what level I am on, I need Him.  Whether you are going through a stressful period or a happy period, listen to God’s voice.  He is trying to teach you something.  God has designed every struggle to bring us closer to Him and to teach us how to lean on Him.  Look for the silver lining in each and every cloud.  After all, no matter what kind of mess you are in right now, there could be much scarier things chasing you!

(I welcome you to share your stories with me in the comment section below.  I would love to hear them.)

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~~ Dear God ~~ Your ways and Your understanding is beyond anything that I can comprehend.  They are perfect.  No path I can choose, no solution I can apply is as perfect as those that You have already set in place for me.  I thank You for leading me closer to You with each and every day; and for moulding my heart to be like that of Jesus.  Open my heart, mind, eyes and ears to receive the message of love that You are sending me.  Please make me willing and able to receive that message, and give me opportunities to share it with others.  Help me to see the silver lining in every cloud, and use me to teach others about mental illness.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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How God Led Me Home

~~ 1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV84) ~~  The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body.  So it is with Christ. 

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Photo by Google Maps

One day when I was about 3 years old I got lost in the supermarket.  I was likely only an isle or two away from my Mom but, at that time, it felt like hundreds of kilometers.  I remember feeling so alone and so terrified.  The world suddenly seemed big and scary.  This very nice man talked to me and asked me some questions, and then he helped me find my Mom.  Since I was so young I do not remember all the details, but I do remember feeling so very happy when I saw my Mom again.  It was like going home after a long time away. 
Many years later when I first started to look for a church to attend, I had no idea which one to pick.  At that time in my life I was not Christian in the true sense of the word.  Granted I believed in the basic facts, like the virgin birth, Jesus lived a perfect sinless life, His death on the cross, and His resurrection.  I also knew that the Baptism and Holy Communion are important in choosing a church.  I did not have a relationship with Christ, nor did I have any concept of what could possibly mean.  Neither did I know or understand the Holy Spirit.  I had no idea that they are an absolutely vital part of the Christian life.  The one thing I did know though was that I could feel the pull within me to find a church.  I prayed for God to “help me find a church home, like a family where I can fit in, that will become the center of my world”.  I was not even sure I understood what this meant, or why I prayed this prayer so often because I had never heard the terms ‘church home’ or ‘church family’ before.  I had been to a lot of churches in my life and none talked about these things, or this kind of ‘belonging together’.  I only knew that I felt the need for it, that I had never known the feeling of fitting in, and that we are called to attend church regularly just as Jesus did (Luke 4:16 (NIV84) - He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom.).  But to find that church... I mean, there are so many denominations; all with their own ‘rules’; and each one claiming their rules are the ‘right’ rules.  How does one know which one to choose?  Does it matter?  I just wanted a church that did not care about ‘set rules’ but instead followed the bible without leaving parts out, changing it, or twisting anything to suit their needs.

My first choice was a church that I remembered being only 10 minutes walk from the new apartment I was about to move in to.  Convenient, since I do not have a car.  The new apartment was in a different city.  I was moving back home and was so very excited about that!  They say ‘home is where the heart is’ and I took the opportunity to move back to the place that my heart says is home, after my life took a huge unexpected turn.  I arrived in town, and that church I remembered being just a hop and a skip down the street... wasn’t!  They had moved.  It seems during the years I had lived elsewhere they outgrew their building.  The old building was now the new location of my dog’s veterinary hospital.  Great... we got our old vet back just down the road, but no church!  This meant that I would have to find another church; and that I would have to get connected with someone who could help me with transportation.  This problem for me was in the same category as the chicken and the egg.  I need transportation to get to church, but I need to go to church to meet people who could help me with transportation.

At this point, the thought occurred to me that since I have to find a church elsewhere, I might as well find one that I felt had the same beliefs as I have.  I figured, if I am to spend my life attending services every Sunday with this group, whoever they may be, than being comfortable with their belief system would make things much more enjoyable.  There are those out there that are not necessarily Christian, though they claim to be.  Then there are those that have beliefs and practices that are just... well, down-right ‘weird’.  I started to do some research and began with the church that I had originally planned on going to; in their new location.  I read their doctrine, statement of faith, beliefs, and core values.  I very much liked what I saw.  They had all the ‘good stuff’ I was looking for and none of the ‘bad or weird stuff’. 

However, I felt that I should keep researching just to make sure I knew all my options.  I checked out many other churches in the area; looking at the same information, mainly through their websites.  There were a few that did not have this information listed; so I emailed them and asked some questions.  Most were more than willing to share about themselves.  There were also a few that did not want to share so willingly.  I saw this as a ‘red flag’ and crossed them off the list right away.  In all my research, I found none that I liked as much as the first one.  Eventually, that first church became like a measuring stick that I used to evaluate others.  One day I said to myself “if that’s the church you want, than just make your decision and go”!  So I did... make the decision, that is.  Getting there was still a problem. 

Then one day my cousin said that she wanted to start going to church as well.  Wouldn’t you know it, she chose the same one I had picked!  So we went together in her car.  However, she changed her mind a short time later and stopped going.  I was so very disappointed.  I had enjoyed the services and the people more than I expected.  There was a certain warmth among them that I had never felt in church before.  There was also something special within their sermons that touched my heart and shed some light in ways that I had never experienced before in church.  Plus their music was a wonderful mix of old and new, which I so very much appreciated!  Nevertheless, I felt I had not been going there long enough to know other people well enough to request a ride on Sunday’s.  So, with no transportation any more, I would have to go back to Sunday morning TV services as my church time, hoping that one day soon I would find a solution.  So I waited for an answer to show up.... for about 2 years. 

Then one day I got an email in response to an advertisement I placed looking for a new roommate.  Without someone to share my apartment with, expenses were just too high to live alone.  This reply came on the last possible day before I would have to move again.  It turned out that this person not only showed up just in the nick of time, but is Christian and is a member of the church I had waited so long to join!  I saw this as a sign from God that this was the person I was to accept as my new roomie.  I felt this so strongly that I before I even replied to the email I called my Mom to tell her the good news that I had found my roommate!  During this time in my life I was very social-phobic.  This new friend ended up bringing me to church, introducing me to people; and helping me feel comfortable.  Since then my heart and my life have changed drastically as a direct result of being part of this church.  I am a whole new person, with a whole new life.

It has been a little more than 2 years since attending my first service there.  My first reasons for choosing a church were simply due to location and convenience.  I did not even include God in the decision process.  For that matter, during those days I did not know I could or should include Him.  He used this to lead me on a journey that would bring me full circle, but this time I would know without a doubt that God led me to this place.  It is His decision where my home church should be.  God is the one who places us in each and every position in our lives; to fulfill His purposes.  If we keep Him in our focus we will complete that purpose; His glory will shine and we will have many blessings bestowed upon us.  Today, I can understand that it is important for me to know God led me here because it leaves me no doubt that this is where I belong.  When we are in a position to see that it is His calling or our lives, we have no reason to doubt or rethink the decision.  We know that no matter what the present circumstances may appear to be, that the future is very bright. 

Since then, the church really has become the center of my world.  I have learned what a church family is and what a church home is.  I have also been introduced to the Holy Spirit, and have developed a relationship with God.  I am growing closer to Him with each and every lesson I learn.  My views on certain portions of my life went from a completely worldly perspective to one that God’s Word calls to live.  I volunteer on a regular basis, I attend bible studies, Adult Christian Education courses, I work at the Welcome Centre sometimes on Sunday’s, and any other areas where I may be useful.  I do all of this because I just love Jesus so much that my heart longs to do these things for Him.  I am part of something bigger.  I have a place and a purpose.  I am part of the Body.  I am part of a group; and I feel I belong there.  I have never had that before in my whole life.  This is a whole new experience for me.  They have welcomed me into their midst, made me a member of their family and they have shown me love like I have never known.  I in turn made a commitment to them when I was enrolled as a member.  Sunday’s are my favorite day of the week because it is worship day.  I get to sing ‘Worship Melodies’ to Him.  There is no doubt in my mind that I am where I was meant to be.  I am no longer lost.  Just like that day when I was 3 years old, I have finally come home. 

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~~ Dear God ~~  Your ways, Your plans, Your purposes are all perfect.  Thank You for leading me home to You, and for the incredible position that You have blessed me with in Your divine plan for the world.  Thank You for bringing me closer to You with each and every lesson I learn and every ‘Worship Melody’ that I sing to You.  Even when circumstances are upsetting from my point of view, I know that You have a wonderful ending planned for me.  I do not have to question if I have made any wrong decisions or choices.  Those that I have made You will erase.  As long as I follow You and I will never again be lost.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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Oh Lord, It’s Hard to Be Humble

~~ James 4:10 (TNIV) ~~  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. 

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Pinky & The Brain

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."  ~~Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

This is a very well known quote.  It is both profound, giving you some great food for thought; and yet at the same time it states something obvious; or at least it should be obvious.  Ever have moments when you realized that you do not know something that you thought you always knew?!  I would be willing to bet you have.  I think everyone has moments when something suddenly becomes clearer, out of the blue it makes more sense, or the ‘light’ comes on.  You thought you knew what a certain word meant.  But, nope!  It turns out you didn’t have a clue!  It has happened to me several times.

One of the biggest experiences for me like this was when I became, what I call, a true Christian; desiring to obey God and having the willingness to let Him change me.  I suddenly understood so much more than I ever knew before.  There was a light shining into corners that I did not even know where there.  I had no idea that there was a whole world outside my cozy little room!  I started feeling God talking to me and guiding me to walk outside of my room.  Actually, it was more of a big push because I was sure that anything outside my little-room-world was terrifying.  That old cartoon, that I am sure you are familiar with, ‘Pinky and the Brain’ comes to mind here.  For so long they had no idea there was a whole world outside the lab.  I finally started to feel the Holy Spirit working in me.  Both me and my life started to drastically change.  Even the world around me started to look different.  Things started to look ‘more alive’, colors started to look brighter.  It really is awesome to see things as God wants you to see them.  It makes me look forward to the time when things will look even clearer still.

Another one of these ‘it turns out that I didn’t know what I knew’ experiences was very recently when God started to lead me down the path of humility.  We may think that we have a clear vision; that we have our route laid out, our plans are made; but God always sees the full picture.  That is how He knows what steps to lead us on.  He knew that my first step in the lesson of humility was to teach me the terminology and their definitions.  Sounds like something that should be obvious, doesn’t it?  Well, keep reading!

See, it is like this; I had always associated the word ‘humility’ with ‘humiliation’, which in turn I thought was a fancy way of saying ‘embarrassed’; and to be embarrassed meant someone had done something or said something very mean to hurt you.  ‘Pride’, I thought meant high self-respect. To be ‘humble’ I thought meant... well, that you were not exactly the ‘smartest rodent in the lab’; which I guess at that time, unknowingly, was me!   I know what you’re thinking but; hey, rodents are God’s creatures too!

You know those moments when you realize that God has been trying for so long to get your attention that He has had to clobber you over the head with something?  I had one of those times in church.  I guess if you are going to be clobbered, church is a good place for it to happen!  The sermon was about pride and humility, based on the book of James, chapter 4.  It was an awesome sermon.  I felt very uplifted, like I had learned an awesome lesson.  Our church is blessed like that.  We get a lot of sermons that speak right at home to us.  This one told us that we have to be humble before God to release the dreams that He has for us.  Woo Hoo! What a remarkable message. 

I went home, I grabbed a snack, and I sat down on the couch with my laptop in front of me to check my email.  Among the list of unread messages were two devotional subscriptions, from completely different sources.  I do not always have time to read all the daily devotionals and blogs that I sign up for, but I do try to read most of them every day.  I started reading.  The first one was about humility and was based on James, chapter 4!  OK, twice in one day... this was an obvious message from God that He definitely wants me to be humble.  “OK, Lord.  I got the message.  Humble it is”.  I opened the second email.  Guess what?!  I hope you are sitting down for this... it was also about humility.  Seriously!  I was so surprised my jaw nearly hit the floor.  My first thought was “Whoa, this is so huge!  This is a very big God moment”.   God wanted my attention, and He certainly got it at that moment. 

However, there was one problem.  I did not, at all, understand what He was trying to tell me.  I mean, I try to be nice to people.  I do not ask for much in return.  I certainly try not to judge, and do my very best to always forgive.  I am basically a good person.  Right?!  I guess this kind of pride should have been my first clue that I have a big problem.  Despite all this, I was almost certain that I was about to go through something; some sort of lesson or test by God, that would teach me about humility.  I really considered asking God if He would consider taking the short cut on this one.

I was right.  There was a lesson from God.  Only days later, I had a very upsetting experience that would educate me not only on the proper definitions of these words that I was obviously confused about, but how they are to be applied to the particular situation.  I was completely thrown for a loop and went through a great deal of distress, to the point I was sick, when someone that I count on for support defined a boundary between us.  It seems that I have learned the hard way that boundaries are an awesome idea... when you are the one setting them.  From the other side of that boundary line things look different.  My mind circled around over and over with thoughts like “How could he do this to me?  I thought I was important.  I am just not loved.  I probably rub on his very last nerve.  I do not deserve to be loved.  I think it would be best if I just quietly leave and disappear for good.”   Once the initial shock was over, I received a third devotional email, from yet another source, with the subject of ‘humility’.   God certainly felt the need to reinforce this message to me!  As a side note; I just love it that He sends me emails!  How cool is that?! 

Anyway, I had the sermon and the blogs that I read, but I still did not truly understand how this situation I was stressing about was trying to teach me about being humble.  I just could not connect these two ends.  So I decided, as I usually do in such cases, to do some research.  First I looked up the definitions of these words.  Again, this would seem like something that should have been obvious much sooner.  For me, apparently not!  Then, to reinforce what I learned from the sermon, I played it back from the church website and listened to it again, and again; taking detailed notes this time. It is amazing how much you can realize you have missed the second and third times around!  I started to put the pieces together.  I have learned that God is the One who defines the terms, makes the rules, and plans the route.  So with that in mind, I could see how these words are defined, and how He wants them to be applied.

• Embarrassed – is the feeling one gets when in an uncomfortable situation amongst others.  It is not something that anyone has said or done; it may not even be a result of someone else.  For example, once when spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to turn on the vacuum cleaner, I experienced some embarrassment.  OK, I admit it.  I will not be the next recipient of the ‘Martha Stewart of the Year’ award!  I had all hardwood flooring, and leather furniture (beautiful imported Italian leather.  I loved it).  Oh, anyway, I very rarely had a reason to use the vacuum.  My boyfriend (at the time), sat in his chair laughing at me so hard it is a wonder he did not pop a blood vessel somewhere!  That was embarrassing.  It gave him something to tease me about for months, but it did not hurt me. 
• Humiliated – is the experience you go through when embarrassed by something that someone said or did to intentionally or knowingly hurt you, causing your dignity to go flying out the window.  For example, when I was at a party and a friend arrived and saw me for the first time in a long time.  She stood in the door pointing at me and laughing, while screaming out “Oh my gosh, look how fat she is!”  That was humiliation.  It was painful.  It still is if I let myself think about it; but I forgive her. 
• Humility – as so wonderfully explained by our pastor, is a virtue.  It means giving up and letting God take control in every situation!  For example, if God needs there to be a boundary between me and my friend, than I know it is for a reason that will bring me joy and will show His awesome glory.  I will accept that and wait in anticipation to see the outcome. 
• Humble - is to place oneself at the appropriate level; which is lower than God, in a position to need Him, and to think of others as better than ourselves.  For example, my friend’s need to put up a boundary is what is most important.  I certainly do not want to cause anyone any pain or distress.  I have to love my friend enough to let this new positioning happen without allowing it to derail my life.  I also realize now that he likely understood this need for me to be separated slightly and did this to help me.  He also knows me well enough to know that ‘tough love’ is sometimes the only way I will finally learn. 
• Pride – our pastor says, is likely the greatest sin.  It is one’s ability to put themselves on a higher pedestal than they have a right to do; in an effort to make themselves as high as, or higher, then God.  For example, when I got upset about my friend setting boundaries.  I got upset because my pride got in the way of the truth.  I put my own needs and desires above both God and my friend.  I should not be counting on someone else for support.  I should be counting only on God for the support I need.  He is more than I need. 

I am certain that my journey through the humility chapter of my story is far from over; and likely never will be as long as I am on this side of Heaven’s gates.  I know this because messages, blogs and devotionals with the subject of humility are continuing to be handed to me.  Letting God mould us into the kind of person He wants us to be is almost always a series of painful lessons.  However, it is worth it to become the person that we want to be, and to live a life of dreams beyond anything our imaginations can come up with.  To take the short cut would mean missing out on some very important and interesting things.  To go along with this transformation and not fight it is one more step toward complete obedience.  To go through it with peace and joy in our hearts is what will fill God’s heart with joy.  I pray that God will let me clearly see each and every situation where my pride gets in the way of me advancing closer to Him.  Micah says it so eloquently in ~ Micah 6:8 (TNIV) ~  “He has shown all you people what is good.  And what does the LORD require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

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~~ Dear God ~~    You are so incredibly patient, loving and merciful.  Each time I let pride guide my way, I create a brick that is added to a wall separating me and You.  Please let me see the blocks that I am about to add to this wall each and every time I am about to put one in place.  Instead, show me how to remove all the blocks that I have already put in place, and to never add to this wall again.  Then please let me always be open to feel Your support to get me through to the end.  Please help me realize that I am neither Pinky nor The Brain.  I am one of Your loving children who desires to bring glory to Your name.  Help me to see that outside my little-laboratory-world, there is a multitude of blessings waiting for me, if only I would accept Your leadership to get me outside safely.  In Jesus name, AMEN. 

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Here are a couple videos you might have fun watching.  The first an old song that you likely have heard before called “Oh Lord, It’s Hard to Be Humble” by Mac Davis.  I think it is very funny.  That (ex)boyfriend that I mentioned... this was his self-appointed ‘theme song’.  Looking back on it, I can see how God may have been trying to get our attentions about pride even then.  Below that is a clip from a Pinky and The Brain episode.  For years, he and I have had an ongoing ‘discussion’ (which continues) about which one of us is Pinky and which one of us is The Brain.  So on that note... Pinky, this one’s for you!

Pinky & The Brain: Bad Day

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