What Weapons are More Dangerous?

~~ Ephesians 4:29 ~~  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

by Carley Cooper

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Trying to get this post published in the last few days has been as varied and uncertain as my moods and my psyche.  I've had several attempts, that have all been derailed for various reasons.  I’ve had another week of battles much like last week.  I am exhausted; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  As I write re-write this (again) I'm still uncertain about so many important things.  I have no idea who or what is real.  If I listen to the signals my brain is receiving, it seems I am leaving a path of destruction behind me hurting everyone I know.  However, it honestly amazes me that God never misses a beat.  Not one.  Despite my confusion, He did let me see a few things differently.

I have a couple of close friends, and my family that I know for certain love me.  When I know nothing else for certain, I know that.  I also know despite what I keep 'hearing', it is OK to need people in my life, and that being single is hard for me.  One of my best buds, Spicy, took me last week to someone who will help me.  I didn’t have the strength to do it for myself.  I didn’t sleep the night before.  My racing thoughts were over the speed limit.  Was this a good idea?  My gut instinct said ‘NO’ (with extra emphasis in a glowing, red, flashing, neon).  However, God knew my biggest fear and put a solution in place before I even got there.  I got to tell my story, and Spicy said I did the right thing and very well.  The results: I felt like me again for a while so I’m a little stronger, I know there are others that care, I will have regular therapy in the future, and I learned a couple interesting things I didn’t know before.  Plus, I was reminded, again, God has everything under control.  He won’t forget me or leave me.  The memory gaps are still there, but truthfully, sometimes I’d rather not remember some of the details.  Maybe that’s why I don’t. 

There were a few other helpful points as well.  One; someone important to me who was in a bad accident a few weeks ago is getting better.  Yay!  A huge weight is gone.  Then, some wonderful Sparklers glittered, reflecting the glory of Jesus when I needed it most; when I can’t see Him myself.  Finally, I got to spend some quality Skype time with a very important friend that I don’t get to talk to often.  He said if I didn’t start realizing how much God loves me, he would be right over and kick my butt.  I was left with the age-old question: Why do quick and witty come-back's never happen fast for funny until much later? 

Those are Fightin’ Words!
Whether an experience is good or bad, a Bipolar (BPD) patient lives it BIG.  There’s a long-winded biological explanation which I won’t go into, but negative views are part of the result if the episode is depression and not mania.  I have studied and worked hard in the past 6 or 7 years, to progress a lot toward being positive; but it’s an ongoing war and education.  Maybe it will always take extra effort, though I hope not.  I don’t want positive thinking to be something I do, but who I am.  My brain’s natural programming was installed with negative information.  Good or bad, this is the fact of the matter.  Reprogramming makes everything else look easy.  Social Anxiety (SAD) adds a quandary.  Part of me needs people to stay alive.  The other part is dying if I get it. 

Most negative thinkers are not aware they are.  Thinking is just thinking; right?.  Who knew there are subcategories?!  No one ever taught me to notice mind-set in myself or others.  Therapy since trained me in patterns of self-thought; and everyone falls into at least one.  I am called ‘The Critic’.  Many have argued, insisting, I see myself as ‘The Victim’, even insulting when I disagreed.  Turns out, they were wrong. 

These words are among the most dangerous and destructive weapons there are (Proverbs 18:21).  Words can tear down one person or build a whole country.  But, how does God feel about words we use on ourselves?  Does it matter that health issues contribute toward it?  The condition of our hearts is what God sees (Matthew 5:27-28).  Hatred is equivalent to murder because it is as if we have killed in our hearts (1 John 3:15).  Self-hatred is no less of a sin.  I have work to do. 

You Already have the Enemies Battle Plan
Human beings have a natural tendency toward sin (Romans 3:23).  As hard as it is to fight, the good news is we do have an advantage over the enemy.  God has given us the enemies battle plan.  He will deceive, divide and destroy (Jude 17-19).  To win, we have to keep faith in the Holy Spirit to keep us strong.  In the mean time, we are to help those who are struggling.  The only thing we are to hate is sin itself (Jude 20-23). 

We have Victory!
Jesus died to save us from ourselves; which includes negative thinking when we are not capable of seeing the good things.  We don’t need our own strength to keep positive.  If we focus on Him, He will fill our hearts and minds with loving, glorious things.  We are called to love our neighbours as  ourselves (Mark 12:31).  Logic says if we can’t love ourselves, then we can’t love our neighbours.  It’s a sin to hate, use bad words, and not to love (Colossians 3:8).  God supplies every need we have (Philippians 4:19) and He has promised to be close to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:17-20)

Yes, I am broken; but it turns out I’m not the only one.  We each have our own battles to fight, within our own wars.  Words can be used as weapons or useful tools (Proverbs 16:24).  When the enemy is messing with me; using circumstances, mind and body against me, I only have to look at the wonderful things Jesus promises.  

On a side note: if you're actually reading this, the publishing conflicts have been defeated as well! Woo Hoo!

A Few of My Favorite Words
Sometimes Jesus uses others to give us words that build us up.  I am reminded; I am loved, wanted, and cared for.  Jesus is strong enough to defeat disorders.  Below are some of my favorite quotes, said to me by some of my favorite people (in no particular order).  Who wouldn’t feel wonderful after hearing these things?  
(Out of request for privacy initials being used.  First names & links provided in cases where they don’t mind.)
  • “I love you.”  ~MC, SC, PD, SB, Francine, BG, TM, BH, CP, PG, Jesus
  • “You have a wonderful sense of humor.”  ~CF
  • “You’re fun to be with.”  ~PHD
  • “You’re so smart.”  ~CP, AC
  • “This is gonna be one wild ride with this chick.”  ~ GO
  • “My little Carley.  I love you more than anything.”  ~Paul
  • “God does not waste anything.”  ~PHD
  • “You’re so hot.”  ~GO, DF, DC...
  • “When you’re hurting you kinda want the sympathy from someone.”  ~CC
  • “You are a way better Christian; a way better person than I am.”  ~CP
  • “Life is not a journey.  It’s an adventure.”  ~AC
  • “I really miss our friendship.”  ~PHD
  • “If your dreams don’t fit your reality, then change your reality.”  ~Chris  
  • “Your writing brought my friend out of depression... your gift touches lives so please don't take your light away... your family in Christ needs your fellowship.  Pray we are a light to you as well!  God bless!”  ~Lisa
  • Conversation:  I said “They’re called ‘Fluffies’”.  He said “No, they are ‘Woofy Fluffers’”.  After a five minute giggling session / argument, my brother, sitting quietly in his lazy chair (this is the favorite quote part), simply said “Lint”. 

Let’s Pray
 ~~ Dear God ~~  Merciful, loving, gentle and gracious Father; sometimes the enemy that I am fighting against the most is myself.  Thank You, for never giving up on me; when others have, and I even have given up on myself.  Help me to be strong in Your mighty power.  Help me to put on Your full armor to take a stand against the enemy.  Help me put on the girdle of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation.  Finally, Lord, I pick up the Sword of the Spirit, so that I will be protected from all the weapons that are being used against me, including the ones that are hurting myself.  In Jesus name, AMEN.  (Ephesians 6:10-20)

On a more personal note, Lord, I humbly ask Your forgiveness for the negative self-thinking, self-hatred, anger, self-harm; and for all those I leave behind me, hurt at my own word.  Help me to forget the selfish need to be heard and understood; and to focus on You.  In Jesus name, AMEN.  

Special Personal Message
To all the Sparklers that I connect with daily:  You are like bright sparklers in the dark night for me.  You are showing the sparkling glitter of God's light back to me.  In four years, you haven’t let me down.  The Carley Show has been cancelled, but it’s a good thing.  If I remember right Truman eventually found his reality too.  Thank you. 
Now It’s Your Turn
Have you ever stopped to pay attention to your own thinking patterns?  How do you see yourself?  How do others see you?  What are some of the awesome things people have said to you?  Please consider sharing your thoughts here in the comments section; even if the link you clicked to get here was on another site

(If you’re on the homepage, click on the post headline, and scroll down to find the comments section.)

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  1. So glad that you had a friend to take you to see this new therapist. So glad you were able to share your story, and that you found some relief from that. So glad that despite the negative words coming to you from people at church you still have positive people in your life who YOU KNOW love you and care about you. So glad that you KNOW that the LORD loves you, HE is the most important. We haven't ever met face to face, but I love you and care about you. God bless you. Ravyna

    1. Thank Ravyna. It's a full time job for me these days to keep from going over the edge. It's a part of mental illness. I know I'm being very open with my life; but I think it's important for more people to share more, to help kill the stigma before the stigma kills us. It's very real, very big, and very much a part of my daily life. It's a struggle to get back to stability; even with a spouse, tons of support, medical care, and meds but I won't give up while I have any strength or hope in me. So many people want so much to understand, but deep down they don't and when put in the path of a mental health patient, they will leave, push away, blame, anything to leave the shame that is associated with our brokenness. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  2. So so true! What we think will eventually come out as a weapon (words from our mouth). Once out there, you can't take it back. Yes, you can apologize, but it's still out there. For this reason, I'd like to get Joyce Meyer's book on the Battlefield of the Mind. I think it would do wonders to help improve the way we choose to think so that we don't have to worry quite a much about that which comes out of our mouths and on paper in words.

    I'm so glad you know that your hope in in Christ and no other . . . while a few of your friends and loved ones shed a beautiful light for you to appreciate. You are a special gift from God who has chosen to be a blessing to others by the sharing of your gift. -- Evelyn

    Did I miss something? What is The Carley Show?

    1. Thanks Evelyn. See my last SP post for the explaination of the Carley Show. Thanks for the support. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  3. PRPLEVIOLETAugust 27, 2012

    Just a little note...It's not actually a weapon until a human (or other animal) picks it up and uses it as one. Anything can be used as a weapon..by it's self it's just an inanimate object.

    1. Thank you for the feedback. My point is that words are among the most dangerous, and we are often our own worst enemies. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

    2. PRPLEVIOLETAugust 28, 2012

      ;-) Still applies only to humans. Animals are much more forward and truthful. And yet humans consider themselves the "superior" species. The only place we truly excell is where we hurt another human or another species.

    3. I agree it only applies to humans, but I didn't mention animals in my article because animals can't talk; so they can't use words as self-destroying weapons like we do, which was my point. People see themselves as ruler over animals 'cause God gave us permission to be. It is among the first things He said after He finished creation (Genesis 1:28). We only excel when we put love for others and God above ourselves, otherwise we are exactly like the animals.

  4. You know, something you said about having to deal with the BP issues every day--? I have a sneaking suspicion that's true for just about everything worthwhile - losing weight, becoming healthier, for example. People on SP talk about 'maintenance' being harder than actually losing weight or becoming fit. I guess that's true in general, as just reaching an achievement isn't the end, but just another milepost in the journey. They say if an athlete stops exercising, they will lose their fitness / strength / endurance faster than they attained it. Wonder if that's true for everything, whether it's mental health, creativity, dieting--?

    As always, Carley, you start me on the road to farther thinking, lol...

    1. It's for certain that sometimes the happily ever after is harder than the battle to get there. I have also told people the same thing about my weight loss. Maintaining is way harder than the losing ever was for me. I'm glad that I got you thinking more. That's among the best compliments I can receive. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  5. SANDRALEETAugust 27, 2012

    Take your medication and get better my friend I will pray for you.

    1. Thank you for reading, and thank you so very much for the support. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  6. Replies
    1. Thank you for reading, and thank you so very much for the support. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  7. REACHING4HOMEAugust 27, 2012


    1. I read a story once about a kid in school who was the geek and didn't have friends. He took all his books and stuff home from school one Friday, because he planned on killing himself over the weekend. No one knew. On the way home he dropped some of his stuff, and a girl came to help him pick up his things. The simple, nice things she said to him helped him change his mind about suicide. They said it was a true story. I always remembered that because so many of my school years I felt alone like that, and dreamed of getting out of that dark place.

      Your comment brought this story back to mind again. Thanks. Thank you, also, for reading and for the feedback. It helps to keep me motivated. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  8. Funny you write about this today.
    I was in a pretty bad place last week-binging pretty bad and being very depressed.
    And I was actually thinking about why some people are naturally positive and some people are naturally negative (me).
    I wonder if they're born that way or if they're raised that way.
    No matter how I work on being positive, the negative is always there and pops up at a blink of an eye.
    Wish it was not like that,but I guess I could have it worst.
    Keep on sharing!
    Keep pushing!
    Way to go.

    1. However it is that the negative thinking is there, getting it out is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I know it's worth it. Sorry, you've been depressed. Keep on pushing toward the Light. Just don't ever quit, and you know you'll always be getting closer to the finish line. Many blessings to you my friend. I will pray for you. HUGS.

  9. CORINNAHONEYAugust 28, 2012

    Thanks for all you do Carly. God does bless your efforts, and He is always available. Keep Looking Up, the dark clouds will pass too.
    Keep pushing!
    We can do it!

    1. Thank you so much for the wonderful support and feedback. I hope it blessed you to read it. Many blessings to you. HUGS.

  10. ANJELIA1968October 01, 2012

    Thank you for another inspired blog. You are such a gifted writer and I look forward to reading more from you.
    I really struggle with my thoughts and words so I needed your reminder that my words can do as much or more harm than guns or other weapons.
    I hope that your therapy continues to go well, and that the Lord blesses you in all things.

    1. Thank you so very much for your kind comments of support. Thank you for sharing. I always bounce back. Nothing keeps me down. That's because I never give up all hope, and I refuse to give up. Many blessings to you. HUGS.