~~ Ephesians 2:10 (NASB) ~~ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.
by Carley Cooper
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I went to a small business college, and I graduated with a diploma that, at the time, qualified me to be a Computer Programmer and an entry level Accountant; topped off with some business courses. After I graduated I had a very hard time finding a job. For a very long time I heard the same old thing from every potential employer “Sorry, but you don’t have experience. Come back when you’ve have some experience.” Not one of them, though, told me how I was supposed to get experience without being hired somewhere
So, what job did I finally get?! I’m glad you asked. I ended up working at a job that I was over qualified for; Mary Brown’s Fried Chicken, in St.John’s, Newfoundland, as a kitchen / counter worker. I don’t even know if the job actually had a title. It was not at all what I had dreamed about, but it helped pay the rent on my first apartment. A few years later, I finally did get a great office job that I loved; after I moved to Barrie, Ontario. It happened to be with The Salvation Army; a Christian charitable organization, so I felt that I had an even bigger purpose than just enjoying the work. I loved it so much that a big chuck of my time there were extra hours as a volunteer, and it didn’t even occur to me to mind that I didn’t get paid for so many extra hours.
Then, life took a big unexpected turn. I was in a nasty car accident that turned my life upside down and left me in physiotherapy for two years. It was a six-car pileup on an icy Ontario highway. My injuries lead to other health issues, and eventually, I had to leave my job. Around that same time my marriage ended. My health issues got worse; and the end result is that I’ve only had work-at-home jobs since (either helping to run a business, or doing something creative). I’ve technically been out of the workforce for a long time now. Though, I still have health issues, I would love to get back into it. I don’t want to sacrifice my writing for it, but the problem is that now I feel under qualified for anything and everything. I did get some further education in more recent years, but even still, my education is way out of date, and I don’t have recent experience. That is, outside of a volunteer job that I do one day per week at the church office. I figure that no one in any industry that I would want to work for would take me seriously, let alone take a chance on hiring me.
It is the same feeling that I get when I think about being called to work for God. I don’t feel qualified. I don’t even feel like I’m taken seriously by those around me let alone hope to get a ministry; or a position, where I could lead someone to Christ or to discipleship. I’ve made so many mistakes in life; committed so many bad sins. Most of the time I don’t even feel qualified for an entry level position, let alone to be have a dream career!
The other day someone left a comment that said “Carley, As usual another AWESOME Blog. It seems as though you have become my Spiritual Life Coach. What would I ever do without you? Blessings my friend.”.
Another person left a comment on one of my other blog sites that said “Carley... You are the best blogger ever!! You are smart and funny! I just found your blogs and can't wait to read the rest... Thank you.”
I replied with a thank you and telling the people how much it meant to me and how honored I was to receive such compliments. It humbled me more than I can say. I know that in God’s eyes, humility like that is a very good thing. However, it makes me feel a little confused as well. Sometimes even a little dishonest. That’s because the truth is, that most days I feel like I’m treading water and sinking fast. How could I coach anyone when I don’t know what I’m doing myself? I can’t imagine that I am the ‘best ever’ anything. Well, except the best Carley; but that could potentially lead me to a whole series of other thoughts and questions, which I’ll leave for another blog. There are those that have way more education, experience, intelligence; and a better relationship with God than I do who aren’t the best ever. I have no clue where I’m supposed to be in life, or what direction I’m supposed to go in. I feel like I’m probably the only one who’s still so lost at this late date in my life. Most people I know seemed to have figured out so much at an early age. Why haven’t I? Where did I get lost? The only things I know about myself with much certainty are that I have some sort of a gift in written words, that my heart desperately aches every day for a relationship, and that I do feel vastly different from the rest of the planet (which traces back to my Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorders).
Each and every one of us is called to the job of spreading the gospel (Mark 16:15 NIV84), and to create disciples for Jesus (Matthew 28:19 NIV1984). As unsure I am of my own qualifications; I know that God doesn’t see me as being incapable. I love Him, and I want more than anything for my heart to be like Jesus; the way God wants it to be. I’m willing to let Him change me; even though it’s hard. The bible is filled with characters that were inexperienced, sinful, and even willingly ran from their calling. However, God chose them to do the job anyway. He loved them nevertheless. We don’t need prior experience, or knowledge; before He is willing to hire us. You see, He not only has already planned and prepared our jobs for us, but He provides us with on the job training. I really want this job. How about you? The benefit package is out of this world!
~~ Dear God ~~ Thank You so much for creating a job position especially for me. Please let me feel Your peace within me with each and every day of doing Your work that goes by. Give me confidence in my abilities, and help me to have stronger faith in Your leading. Please keep me in humility, and let me feel joyous in every duty that I fulfill. In Jesus name, AMEN.