~~ Ephesians 2:10 (NASB) ~~ For we are
His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared
beforehand so that we would walk in them.
by Carley Cooper
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| Microsoft Office Copyright Free Images |
I went to a small
business college, and I graduated with a diploma that, at the time, qualified
me to be a Computer Programmer and an entry level Accountant; topped off with some
business courses. After I graduated I
had a very hard time finding a job. For
a very long time I heard the same old thing from every potential employer “Sorry, but you don’t have experience. Come back when you’ve have some experience.” Not one of them, though, told me how I was
supposed to get experience without being hired somewhere
So, what job did
I finally get?! I’m glad you asked. I ended up working at a job that I was over
qualified for; Mary Brown’s Fried Chicken, in St.John’s, Newfoundland, as a kitchen / counter worker. I don’t even know if the job actually had a
title. It was not at all what I had
dreamed about, but it helped pay the rent on my first apartment. A few years later, I finally did get a great
office job that I loved; after I moved to Barrie, Ontario. It happened to be with The Salvation Army; a Christian charitable organization, so I felt that I
had an even bigger purpose than just enjoying the work. I loved it so much that a big chuck of my time
there were extra hours as a volunteer, and it didn’t even occur to me to mind
that I didn’t get paid for so many extra hours.
Then, life took a
big unexpected turn. I was in a nasty
car accident that turned my life upside down and left me in physiotherapy for
two years. It was a six-car pileup on an
icy Ontario highway. My injuries lead to
other health issues, and eventually, I had to leave my job. Around that same time my marriage ended. My health issues got worse; and the end
result is that I’ve only had work-at-home jobs since (either helping to run a
business, or doing something creative).
I’ve technically been out of the workforce for a long time now. Though, I still have health issues, I would
love to get back into it. I don’t want
to sacrifice my writing for it, but the problem is that now I feel under
qualified for anything and everything. I
did get some further education in more recent years, but even still, my
education is way out of date, and I don’t have recent experience. That is, outside of a volunteer job that I do
one day per week at the church office. I
figure that no one in any industry that I would want to work for would take me
seriously, let alone take a chance on hiring me.
It is the same
feeling that I get when I think about being called to work for God. I don’t feel qualified. I don’t even feel like I’m taken seriously by
those around me let alone hope to get a ministry; or a position, where I could
lead someone to Christ or to discipleship.
I’ve made so many mistakes in
life; committed so many bad sins. Most
of the time I don’t even feel qualified for an entry level position, let alone
to be have a dream career!
The other day
someone left a comment that said “Carley,
As usual another AWESOME Blog. It seems
as though you have become my Spiritual Life Coach. What would I ever do without you? Blessings my friend.”.
Another person
left a comment on one of my other blog sites that said “Carley... You are the best blogger ever!! You are smart and funny! I just found your blogs and can't wait to read
the rest... Thank you.”
I replied with a
thank you and telling the people how much it meant to me and how honored I was
to receive such compliments. It humbled
me more than I can say. I know that in
God’s eyes, humility like that is a very good thing. However, it makes me feel a little confused
as well. Sometimes even a little dishonest. That’s because the truth is, that most days I
feel like I’m treading water and sinking fast.
How could I coach anyone when I don’t know what I’m doing myself? I can’t imagine that I am the ‘best ever’
anything. Well, except the best Carley;
but that could potentially lead me to a whole series of other thoughts and questions,
which I’ll leave for another blog. There
are those that have way more education, experience, intelligence; and a better
relationship with God than I do who aren’t the best ever. I have no clue where I’m supposed to be in
life, or what direction I’m supposed to go in.
I feel like I’m probably the only one who’s still so lost at this late
date in my life. Most people I know
seemed to have figured out so much at an early age. Why haven’t I? Where did I get lost? The only things I know about myself with much
certainty are that I have some sort of a gift in written words, that my heart desperately
aches every day for a relationship, and that I do feel vastly different from
the rest of the planet (which traces back to my Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorders).
Each and every
one of us is called to the job of spreading the gospel (Mark 16:15 NIV84), and to create disciples for Jesus (Matthew 28:19 NIV1984). As unsure I am
of my own qualifications; I know that God doesn’t see me as being incapable. I love Him, and I want more than anything for
my heart to be like Jesus; the way God wants it to be. I’m willing to let Him change me; even though
it’s hard. The bible is filled with
characters that were inexperienced, sinful, and even willingly ran from their
calling. However, God chose them to do
the job anyway. He loved them nevertheless. We don’t need prior experience, or knowledge;
before He is willing to hire us. You see,
He not only has already planned and prepared our jobs for us, but He provides
us with on the job training. I really
want this job. How about you? The benefit package is out of this world!
~~ Dear God ~~ Thank You so much for creating a job position especially for me. Please let me feel Your peace within me with each and every day of doing Your work that goes by. Give me confidence in my abilities, and help me to have stronger faith in Your leading. Please keep me in humility, and let me feel joyous in every duty that I fulfill. In Jesus name, AMEN.
