Showing posts with label What if. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What if. Show all posts

Blind Faith

~~ John 20:29 (NIV84) ~~  Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”


  
by Carley Cooper

Casey - April 2012
Photo by Carley.  All copyrights reserved.
If you’re a regular Worship Melodies follower, you’ve no doubt read about my dog, Casey (a Shih-Tzu).  For those who haven’t, here’s the nutshell version of our long and complicated story with me and canine baby.  I would do anything for him.  Which is why he’s living with my friend now.  See Casey’s new home with my friend, Charlene (not her real name), was originally meant to be temporary until I could secure a place for us to live.  At the time, I knew he had several health issues including the possibility he could go blind.  Well, it happened.  Whether or not I can bring him home now, is irrelevant.  The important thing is what is best for my doggie.  His last sighted place is Charlene’s home.  He needs her and her house now.  I love him enough to give him what he needs most, whether I would prefer him to be with me or not.

The bottom line in Casey’s eye health is that he had to have his eyes removed.  The surgery was scary and expensive.  I wasn’t sure it was a good idea; but the only other option was to put him down... and that in itself was not an option for me, or my friend.  Little Casey had the surgery in February.  Because Charlene lives out of town, I don’t get to see them often.  I finally got to go last week to see him.  Truthfully, I was nervous about it.  What was he going to look like with no eyes and his eyelids sewn shut?  What if he didn’t know me?  Or, worse, what if the fact that I was there and he couldn’t see me upset him?  What if he was depressed because of the issue?  What if I couldn’t handle it emotionally seeing him like that?  I so very much wanted to see him, and I miss him desperately every day; but I also didn’t want it to trigger a bad Bipolar episode in myself or cause Casey any extra stress. 

Well, the day came a couple Saturday’s ago when I went with my parents to see my long lost baby boy.  So what happened?  I’m glad you asked!  Well, in a word I can only describe it as “incredible!”  He was so well adjusted to his new situation without sight that it amazed me.  He knew who I was and was so excited to be with me.  He also knew where to find his food and water and how to get around the house and the yard.  He even knew his way back to the door when he was outside.  He’s also adjusting his behaviours to compensate for his lack of sight.  For example, Casey was never one to bark when he wanted out, or to be picked up.  He used to sit and stare at me as quiet as a mouse when it was pee-pee time.  Quite often I would say to him “Stop staring at me like that.  You’re creeping me out.  Why can’t you be like other doggies and scratch at the door to get out?”  Most of the time, I was sure that if he could talk he would reply with “’Cause I’m not other doggies.  I’m me.”; and for that I was very grateful because I love him just the way he is.  Anyway, in his new circumstances, because he can’t sit and stare anymore, he’s finally started to whine to go out, or get attention.

Immediately when I saw him, I could tell that he was feeling better.  The vet said that he was in a lot of pain before; which I didn’t know until late in the situation.  He’s not in pain anymore.  He’s blind, old (13 years), with a heart murmur; and he’s playing like he did at half his age.  My friends dog, Snowy (an American Eskimo), has taken it upon herself to be Casey’s protector.  She senses that he needs her and does things, like keeping him from wandering onto the road.  Snowy even got a little cranky each time my Dad got too close to Casey.  It’s wonderful to watch them together.

As I watched my baby and interacted with him I couldn’t help but see the wonders of God at work.  I realized that Casey is an inspiration to me.  He is totally dependent on Charlene and Snowy.  He has complete faith in both of them.  He trusts them to care for him, make sure there’s food and water available, to let him out, and play with him.  He doesn’t worry about things like “What if she doesn’t fill my water bowl?”, “What if I get lost outside?”, “What if she doesn’t love me because I’m blind?”  These things are neither here nor there to him.  He’s blind and yet completely happy.  He knows without a doubt that his needs will be met.

Casey - 2008 or 2009
Photo by Carley.  All copyrights reserved.
  
This is how God wants us to respond to Him.  How often do we give Him our total trust?  Even in the strongest of faith, we often have lingering doubts in our hearts.  “I know God won’t let me go homeless, but what if I can’t pay my rent this month?  Will He make sure I get money from somewhere else?”, “I know God won’t let me stay single forever, but what if He does?”, “I know God wants me to write a book, but what if He doesn’t have a plan for me to publish it?, or to sell it?”, “I had a falling out with a friend who I’m convinced no longer likes me.  God told me that things will work out, but what if they don’t fall into place and my friendship isn’t restored after all?” 

The list of doubts and “What if’s” are endless.  However, God wants us to trust Him.  He loves us and He will take care of us.  He won’t abandon us; ever!  He is longing for us to give Him our full blind faith. 



~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for never leaving me, or giving up on me.  Thank You for the journey that You are taking me on; even the hard stuff because I know that this means You love me enough to want to mold me into the person You know I can be.  Please empty my heart of doubts and “What if’s”; open it up to be able to give full blind faith to You.  In Jesus name, AMEN.




You Must Not Quit

~~Matthew 17:20~~ If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “’Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.



Rebecca Hynes. Photo property of Carla Cooper. All Copyrights Reserved. Worship Melodies
Rebecca Hynes (Photo by Carley)
I will never forget the day when we got the call telling us that Rebecca was rushed to the emergency room.  Our friend Miguel was in such a panic that he was practically incoherent on the phone.  My boyfriend and I spent almost all of our time with Rebecca and Miguel during that spring and summer of 2003.  We were like 4 best-buds, and we had so much fun together.  Rebecca, only 25, was pregnant with twins and was in her sixth month.  I was helping Miguel plan her Jack ‘n Jill baby shower.  It was going to be a great one.  We were so excited.

Suddenly one night Rebecca passed out.  Miguel got her to the emergency.  We went to meet him at the hospital in downtown Toronto.  The doctor told us that Rebecca had a problem with some blood vessels in her brain.  It was a condition that was always there, but it was never a known; and probably would not have ever been known if it were not for her pregnancy.  It was the stress on her body of being pregnant that caused these vessels to rupture.

She was in a coma for 2 weeks.  Miguel spent all his waking time with her.  I gave him a book of poetry for inspirational support.  He used to sit and read it to her.  After about 2 weeks he noticed that tears started to run down her face.  She was still in the coma, but she could hear him!  It was such incredible hope for him.  Then her parents decided that they would ‘pull the plug’.  They did not want to leave her and their grandchildren in this condition.  Miguel did not get to be part of this decision because he was not legally married to Rebecca.  Her family had shut him out of the decision.  He was shattered when he found out that he would lose his new family.  Rebecca and her babies passed away shortly after the machines were turned off that night.  We were all so devastated.  How could this happen to such nice people?

I have been reliving this story today because of a book I am reading.  This book teaches you how to never give up hope; how to turn your negatives into positives.  It teaches you how to be tough through thick and thin.  In this book the author tells a story of how his dear friend was in a coma.  A ‘death-coma’ they called it; which means there was no hope, according to the medical team.  The author, however, is a pastor who was taught in seminary to always ‘think life’ when in this type of situation.  He talked to his comatosed friend and said “if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “’Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” ~Matthew 17:20 (NIV84).  He assured his friend that he was going to survive because the Lord said ““I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV1984).  At this point, beyond all human hope, a tear started to run down the face of this friend in a ‘death-coma’.  A year later this friend could talk full sentences.  Then not long after that his life was practically back to normal. 

One thing that life has taught me is that you never, ever give up hope.  Even, and especially, when things look hopeless.  I have inherited a stubborn streak that could try the patience of Job.  I am aware of this.  It can be a bad character trait at times.  However, it is this stubborn streak that I have learned to use as a tool to hold on to hope and faith where others tell me there is none.  I refuse to let go of it.  This faith has helped me get through the toughest period of my life, especially in the past 5 years.  I have gotten blessings that I never in a million years would have thought of on my own.  I have survived things that I most certainly would / could not have survived otherwise.  This hope has also helped to put behind me, the horrible chapters of my life that I had been holding on to.  I’m not perfect yet.  There are still a couple of anchors that I need to learn to let go of; but one thing is for certain, I will not let go of my hope and faith.  No matter what!

This book also quoted a poem that was near and dear to my heart.  My parents gave me this poem in a frame many years ago to help me hold on to hope.  To have it quoted back to me in this book, I saw, as a direct message from God.

Don't Quit
by Edgar A. Guest
 
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
 
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
 
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
 
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
 
What things are you keeping faith for today?  What things seem hopeless to you today?  Do you need a job?  Are you lonely?  Have you been given a diagnosis that scares you?  Do you need money to pay bills or to buy food?  Is your marriage in trouble?  Are you sharing custody of your child and the situation seems to be always very tense?  Maybe, you need hope to finish an assignment at work or at school before a deadline.  Please, do not give up.  The storm will pass.  The night will give way to dawn.  Spring flowers will start to appear.  My pastor said to me not long ago “you will get through this”, God says so!  You must not quit.
 
How would my life be different now if my friend Rebecca was given just one more week of hope?  How would the world be just a little bit different, a little more blessed, by having Rebecca and her babies to be a part of it?  Even as it is, my life has been blessed by knowing her.



 ~~Dear God~~ Thank You for never giving up hope on me no matter how many mistakes I continue to make, no matter how many times I forget to turn to You for guidance.  Thank You for giving us Jesus as the perfect example of never giving up hope even in the darkest of moments.  Please make my heart into one like His that You would be so proud of.  In Jesus name, AMEN.



NOTE:  The photo above of my friend Rebecca was taken when we all went to the circus one afternoon in the summer of 2003.  It was my first time going to the circus since I was a kid.  We had such fun that day... as we did so many other days that summer.  I miss her.

Here’s an inspirational video of the poem ‘Don’t Quit’.  Enjoy.